I mean, would you ever be a surrogate mother?

Why and why not?

And what would you expect from the ordeal?

Serious question

My bestfriend is gay, and if he wanted a child and I was in a position in my life where I felt comfortable being pregnant, I'd do that for him

In a heartbeat.

And I'd do it because I believe my gay friends would be great dads. I would expect nothing out of it.
[Edited 2/16/09 9:58am]

No. Why should I get my hoo-ha all stretched out for somebody who doesn't want it in the first place?

Genesia said:

Probably not.
I don’t think I could carry a baby around for 9 months and then give it up to someone else to raise, whether I know and love that person or not. It would just be too difficult.

Genesia said:

LORD!
vendetta:


You wouldnt want any compensation in return?

Vendetta1 said:

Do you think your answer would be different if you didn't already have children of your own?

Just asking cause I think if I already had kids, I might be more apt to help someone else. Of course, I don't really know.

CarrieMpls said:

Would you want to see the baby at all? Be a parent too or stay out of it?


I think if I had a surrogate I would want her to be part of my life.

paisleypark4 said:

Well, if I'm doing it for a friend, I'm already a part of their life.

But I don't think I have what it takes to plan to be a part-time mother. I understand circumstances change things for people and divorce causes one parent to give up a lot of their time and rights to parenting and that's sad all around. You make the best of it. But I don't think I could go into it knowing I wasn't going to be a full-time mommy.

I hold myself to different standards than I do everyone else. At the very least, I'd owe the gent(s) my family history. There are hereditary factors at stake here. Creating offspring is a conscious decision and it'd be great if more people felt a bit more responsible for how their child will personally fare (as well as the rippling effects of overpopulation).

It's been brought up a few times with my three closest gays and though it really means a lot to me to be approached, I'm forced to ask if they've considered adoption first. It's what I'll do if I ever want children. I have so much more respect for a person who will go through the hoops and fees to give a neglected already-existing soul a life with parental compassion as opposed to the creeps who have litters of eight with little planning as to how those children will receive the love they'll need. The former example is how I'd define a true parent.

Yes, I would not have any problems doing that with my gay friends. They would be wonderful parents.

paisleypark4 said:

Nope. I have health insurance so they wouldn't have to pay for my doctor's visits.

INSATIABLE said:

I see all these children growing up in these horrid conditions and I half the time honestly do believe that gay people would be able to take children in more consideration than people who dont appreciate kids.

CarrieMpls said:

No, my answer wouldn't be different. It is definitely easier now that I have kids, though. I've raised three and it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do so not being involved in that part makes it much easier for me to say yes.

Vendetta1 said:

Seriously? Wow...I went on a website and they are looking for $30,000 and up!

Vendetta1 said:

At my age, it would never recover...

paisleypark4 said:

some states make it harder or ban gays from adopting altogether.

No, terrified enough of getting pregnant....might want to see the baby...would be hard to give up.

Vendetta1 said:

It's sick. Banning non-heteros from adopting shouldn't be legal. There are ways around it, but it can't be easy.

Like I said before, I have infinite respect for those willing to adopt. At the risk of sounding like a complete asshole, it almost requires a higher caliber of person. There are so few that have a big enough heart for these neglected kids and it makes me ill that those in charge would rather these youngsters go without families than grant equal parental rights.

No, I won't do that for anyone. Too much time, pain, patience and emotions involved. No one can pay me enough for that.
[Edited 2/16/09 11:02am]

INSATIABLE said:

What about Foster Children? Im thinking in the future..10 years from now down the line what would be a good route. People tell me to stay far away from having them and that I am lucky.

Nope, never. Could never give a baby up.

paisleypark4 said:

Is the egg coming from me? Is it genetically half mine? If so, then no I couldn't do it.

If I am merely an incubator then very possibly.

It would be something I'd have to think very seriously about and the situation would have to be just right.

I love you FBM.

Let's see - if I won't even babysit for family & friends, what are the chances I'mma get knocked up only to give the little fucker away?? NOT

I would never donate my eggs either. I would feel terrible if some moron got a hold of them and mistreated the child.

CalhounSq said:

What you talkin' 'bout, CSq??? You won't experience swollen feet, morning sickness, stretch marks, and a loose coochie to help out your fellow gays? You selfish.

I had a reverse of this happen to me. A close female friend asked if I would father a baby for her, and I said no. She said I could have as much or as little involvement as I wanted, but I felt saying no was the best decision for me. Ultimately, I'm glad I made that decision, but I still wonder what could have been.

SCNDLS said:

"loose coochie"