...would it hurt to install some damn noise machines or at least pipe in some damn MUZAK, so we wouldn't have to listen to each other's poop and fart noises? Isn't it enough of an indignity to know that right on the other side of some flimsy-ass formica partition there's some total stranger (or worse, a CO-WORKER) squeezing out logs, essentially RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?

GROSS!

At the very least, there should be some kind of sonic comfort standards in bathrooms, echoey as they are to begin with, to make us feel a little less self-conscious about our doodie noises. And from what's being said about old people in public bathrooms, some folks need all the help they can get.

I'm just sayin'.

How come the ladies bathroom have couches and such?--I mean damn.Thats not fair..I want to have a couch..oh wait a minute..maybe not...

I don't like the automatic sensors; it flushes the toilets by itself after you use it, it turns on the water over the sink when you put your hands under the faucet, it ... just ... feels ... invasive.

I don't like makin noise either. I try to wait till the bathroom is empty to make noise. But, I think there r more important problems that we should worry about. Like. GW Bush, world hunger and the endless fight against injustice (sorry I just farted, good thing u couldn't hear me).

You guys are all wimps...where else can you let loose but in a bathroom? I totally fart at the urinal, push a log out with lots of 'emphasis'...that's what being in the bathroom is all about, not about being polite.
We're big animals who shit and fart and piss. Let's be the animals we are somewhere in the office.

And now back to your regularly scheduled restroom tea party.

mrchristian said:

Imma scared to let loose in public for fear of seing folks when I come out etc..especially if its at my place of employ or school...I wont even pull th e toioet paper b\when someones there..I'l wait. Because of that some twit turned out the light at one of my schools bathroms because they conserve electricity. I was pissed! I had to finish shitting and wiping in the damn dark hoping nobody would come in as I went for th e sink thinking I was doing something freaky!

wash your damn hands...wash your damn hands...wash your damn hands...wash your damn hands...wash your damn hands




there i feel better now!!!

mrchristian said:

You are the person who keeps me from using public restrooms. Thank you for reminding me that you exist. Eeg.

Seriously. I hear ya. Personal space and boundary issues are a wildly subjective thing for all of us - I, for one, take little comfort in hearing or smelling or seeing the fecal goings-on of others. And if checking out poop action makes you feel more connected with nature, that's really great. Tellya what, tape yourself pinching a log or two and when I'm ready to embrace the zen of defecation, I'll try to give it an objective viewing. Till then, I plead poo-poo prissiness.

Oh - and never mind with the tape. For real.

Anxiety said:

PREACH IT!!!

Sometimes it sounds like Howitzer fire in there while other times it sounds like someone is watching a copy of "The Guns of the Navarone" in there.

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick!

Sometimes the farts will echo in the bowl and make a sound like tearing burlap...

HIROSHIMA, MOTHERFUCKER!

And I thought this thread would be safe to enter.

anyone see Blazing Saddles?

Anxiety said:

Are you sure, i have a 'Best of..." tape that rules: me in the 80 yr old outhouse taking a crap, me at the Grand Central Station crapper(now that thing's gross!), me at Yoshiki's Massage and Spa(very friendly girls mind you), and who can forget...me crapping a cowpie in the Burger King parking lot. I didn't get that address--Anxiety at ___?

I wish they had a sanitary waste bin that sucks each deposit into some airtight container.














[This message was edited Mon Dec 2 15:20:39 PST 2002 by LaVisHh]

LaVisHh said:

I wish that bathroom stalls were hermetically sealed.

rdhull said:

Oh yes, I thought that campfire scene was funny as heck...after we watched it my friends an I re-enacted the scene in my friends apartment...

We were sickos! No shame.

Anxiety said:

Me too!!! I'm terribly paranoid about public restrooms and will often go to great lengths to avoid them. Don't even let me get started about outhouses and camping ground bathrooms.

IceNine said:

I don't think that's quite what you meant.

Perhaps you mean "vented" like those vents that suck the air right out? Would you really want it sealed in there for life?

LaVisHh said:

Nope... I don't use public crappers either... I want the stalls hermetically sealed where the offensive shitters will be trapped in their own stench...

In fact, I wish that the head was like a LEVEL 4 Biohazard containment facility.

IceNine said:

Dayum...they'd be charging 100 bucks a pop!

LaVisHh said:

Don't you mean $100 a POOP?

:LOL:

in japan they have sound effects in restrooms

XxAxX said:

We have them here too... they are made by very talented sphincters.

oh yeah mr nine? can YOUR sphincter make a sound like a birdie tweeting in a tree with water rushing down a little mountain steam? i think NOT

XxAxX said:

I have never tried... but we do have guys here who can fart the national anthem... how's that for patriotism?

IceNine said:

I didn't want to leave out the pissers!

LaVisHh said:

Oh... good point...



We all got a space to fill...

damn, i sure HOPE not. on the bright side if it does, you could get a job making recordings for restrooms and such. oh sure there're a few ifs and butts, you'd have to start at the bottom of things. to asstablish yourself first you'd have to play county fairs, talent shows, the like. but someday you could be a STAR make a real SPLASH out there

XxAxX said:

Go HERE:

http://www.mrmethane.com/

A British chap who can really fart.

oh man

XxAxX said:

2,349

X dear, you have mucho posts

stand up and be counted