Dammit, Painted! Bless you, woman! You're one of the strongest motherfuckers I DON'T know but talk to. Now I feel closer. I wish I could say something, but....what the fuck do I really have to say after that. I feel like shit. But you've got a heart of gold and an impenetrable soul. You're fucking amazing! I've been acting an ass off and on, lately. It's a wonder to me how you haven't checked me about it. But I'm looking at myself.....and I'm still looking. I don't think I'm done, yet.

mdiver said:

PanthaGirl said:

My child being abducted in another country

My grandmother'death, she taught me the love of words and french litterature

Followed by the death of my grandfather, who taught me calligraphy,

Meeting a very bad guy

Drugs


Meeting Jesus on my path,


and I stopped the all mess.

Now, I lack creativity and fun of it, but I'm on the sane place.

virginie74 said:

how are things going for you now?

ZombieKitten said:

Doing fine thanks, working, taking care of baby Maxime, life... Add me on fb !

There are several.

The death of my mother started a blackening of my soul that I am not sure I can ever shake.

The death of my nephew from cancer at 14.

The birth of my children.

The realization that most of my relationships are uneven and that I really can't trust anyone 100%.

Vendetta1 said:

hokie said:

She died at 43. She would have been 59 on last Saturday.

Vendetta1 said:

I'm so sorry.

hokie said:

It's all good.

When people talk of getting older or fret about grey hair and wrinkles, I think of my mother and wear my age with pride.

My last child just moved out on her own and now I live alone again after raising 3 kids. Right now is the major turning point in my life. I am not sure what my purpose is anymore.

PanthaGirl said:

My child being abducted in another country

My grandmother'death, she taught me the love of words and french litterature

Followed by the death of my grandfather, who taught me calligraphy,

Meeting a very bad guy

Drugs


Meeting Jesus on my path,


and I stopped the all mess.

Now, I lack creativity and fun of it, but I'm on the sane place.

Trying to express my love for someone but getting the cold shoulder was one turning point where I have had to let go and quit trying.



Also getting to the point of desparation through using drugs and alcohol my turning point was to finally go and get professional help and fully change my life for the better.

PanthaGirl said:

One of them:

I was watching CNN, around the time that woman had the first partial face transplant.

They were doing a story about facial deformities and they showed a man whose entire upper face was a prosthesis.

That woke me the fuck up.

I started to put my disappointments into better perspective and remembered I have much (much) to be thankful for. It helped spur an entire reappraisal of my life.

turning points in my life....

waiting on people.....

I waited on a loved one for so long that just recently I woke up and told myself Im too valuable to wait on others, do your own thing.

cherish the little things:

Almost dying late last year helped me realize that i need to cherish everything that has come my way. From finding 100.00 stashed in my "little stuff" box to hearing the birds sing outside my window, seeing my little girl smile....life can be worse, or it can be taken from you in a split second.

not changing for others.

But doing it for myself. I may be selfish in this area, but I come first. Some people will understand where Im coming from.
There are certain areas I just cant be supportive, and why lead someone on if my lifestyle cant support another's.....doesnt mean I cant love that person.
I lead a simple life, not too big on material things, but love, honesty, respect, and family mean more to me than anything in this world.

Getting divorced and going through a custody battle. It was hell and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but I learned a lot about myself and what I'm capable of without him.

Turning points in my life...

(goodness...)

watching my mom have a heart attack after smoking pot laced with some shit and I decided to stop smoking pot with her... I was 11, never used that shit again

standing up for myself and slapping the shit outta a little twit that talked shit about my mom, just to walk across the street to get ready for a good ass whooping by her older sister... her older sister saw everything and said... "she deserved the slap, wanna play with me?" me and her sister have been best friends since....

watching my neighbor getting gang raped by at least 20 boys, she thought she was "one of the guys" and liked to bully me, I was very afraid of her, but that day all I wanted to do was help her, but I was pulled away to safety by a boy that I thought hated me.... that boy saved me. That day I knew I was blessed and someone was watching over me.

at 15 seeing my mother get beat bloody again... and finally standing up and grabbing a bat. I stood over my mother that was curled up on the floor shaking and me and my sister looked that asshole in the eye and said "bring it muthafucker... you ain't gonna beat us all up not anymore" .... he unballed his fist and walked away and left the house.... we threw all his shit out the window, including all his cocaine

the day a life long friend of my brother held a loaded gun to my face, he was bipolar and high and he beat his girlfriend, I tried to get him to stop and he pulled the gun and held it at my face for over 20 minutes... I talked him down, I never cried... I just stayed calm and talked to him as if we were having tea.
that was not the first time someone held a gun in my face, so i wasn't afraid and I knew to stay calm. A year later after he sobered up I told him what he did, he cried like a baby, (this dude is 6'2" and over 300lbs ) and I told him I forgave him, because he was my little brother and I loved him.

The day I stood up to my sister...

the day I told my little brother I was so sorry for not protecting him from being sexually abused because I didn't think that is what that bastard was doing to him, my brother said its OK.... he can't never hurt me again and my brother forgave him. That day I knew my little brother became stronger than anyone I ever knew, he became my hero. I love him so

misspell edit
[Edited 2/11/09 14:07pm]

Let's see...

* My daughter's birth
* Getting fired, kicked out of grad school and eventually hospitalized because I was too complacent to do something about my depression
* The turmoil and ultimate breakup of a particular adult relationship

Those would be the Big 3.

paintedlady said:

Wow. Devastating. How are u today? U write about ur experiences with such ease it shows such strength.

PEJ said:

Even though u quit trying to express ur love, do u still speak to this person these days?

amorbella said:

U have morphed beautifully with every turning point.