PanthaGirl said:

Trying to be happy in life and enjoy the moment.




It just ended some weeks ago. I met the man again who I fell in love with and I don't know yet what the future will be like for us and if there will be any.
[Edited 2/11/09 9:19am]

shanti0608 said:

Thank you BOF, I am very happy and proud to call you my friend too .

Serious said:[quote]

PanthaGirl said:

Yeah I agree sometimes U have to stop in ur pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Didn't realise the breakup was so recent. I wish U well.

PanthaGirl said:

Thank you .

PanthaGirl said:

My child being abducted in another country

My grandmother'death, she taught me the love of words and french litterature

Followed by the death of my grandfather, who taught me calligraphy,

Meeting a very bad guy

Drugs


Meeting Jesus on my path,


and I stopped the all mess.

Now, I lack creativity and fun of it, but I'm on the sane place.

Trying to express my love for someone but getting the cold shoulder was one turning point where I have had to let go and quit trying.



Also getting to the point of desparation through using drugs and alcohol my turning point was to finally go and get professional help and fully change my life for the better.

PanthaGirl said:

Well, she left me because I wasn't doing anything with my life (her words, not mine). I had no direction or ambition and she wasn't willing to stick around until I figured it out or found it. Understandable, although I was really bitter about it at first. Ultimately, she was right and I went thru a long period of personal and career development. Although, I hate giving her any credit for it.

The bitterness about the relationship ending manifested itself in that I just completely closed myself off to the idea of being in anything long term, and the idea was to guard myself first and foremost. I'm still that way today, more or less.

PanthaGirl said:

One of them:

I was watching CNN, around the time that woman had the first partial face transplant.

They were doing a story about facial deformities and they showed a man whose entire upper face was a prosthesis.

That woke me the fuck up.

I started to put my disappointments into better perspective and remembered I have much (much) to be thankful for. It helped spur an entire reappraisal of my life.

Let me say there's a lot going on right now.

I've postponed growing up for a while, I guess I'll have to face my demons shortly.

PanthaGirl said:

IT sure the hell is.
I guess for me it was when I dropped everything in Pennsylvania, packed my shit and rode the Greyhound for 3 days to come to LA with no job, family, or plans, and with only $300 in my pocket.
I think so far I doing great. I'm not on the streets or anything. I'm in school getting my graphic design certification. Everytime I talk to my mom she tells me how proud of me she is.

'Nother one:

Saw a person with one of those electronic voice boxes (tracheotomy, from smoking).

Threw the cigarettes in the trash and never looked back.

i almost died for the 3rd time. i figure well i have to start taking care of myself. i mean health wise,mentally, etc.

And, of course, beginning therapy was a major, major turning point in my life. Took me a few tries to find the right doctor, but - once I did - it was, "Bye-bye, fucked up bullshit; we were aiiir-bornnnne..."

Oh hell yeah Baroque that was one for me too. Really, i mean REALLY think i was gonna bite it..... I ALWAYS CHECK MY BRAKE LEVER NOW

I don't think I can pinpoint anything to any one event changing me. Not off hand, anyway.
I'm just much more gradual. I guess.

Ace said:

same here plus they had a carry-around oxygen tank

PEJ said:

By the way: belated congrats on partying at Prince's! That is a wild story, man!

my friends and family intervened in my life after a two year binge of consistent, heavy drug use and destructive behavior...at a time in my life when I had abandoned my real friends and my family, they still cared enough to not abandon me in return...for that, I'm eternally grateful...if it hadn't been for their actions, I'm not sure I would be typing this now...

roodboi said:

Glad they did, you are good people.

turning points in my life....

waiting on people.....

I waited on a loved one for so long that just recently I woke up and told myself Im too valuable to wait on others, do your own thing.

cherish the little things:

Almost dying late last year helped me realize that i need to cherish everything that has come my way. From finding 100.00 stashed in my "little stuff" box to hearing the birds sing outside my window, seeing my little girl smile....life can be worse, or it can be taken from you in a split second.

not changing for others.

But doing it for myself. I may be selfish in this area, but I come first. Some people will understand where Im coming from.
There are certain areas I just cant be supportive, and why lead someone on if my lifestyle cant support another's.....doesnt mean I cant love that person.
I lead a simple life, not too big on material things, but love, honesty, respect, and family mean more to me than anything in this world.

Ace said:

thanx ace it was a night i will never forget

amorbella said:

Nice.

You also went to that thing at Prince's house, didn't you?

mdiver said:

Getting divorced and going through a custody battle. It was hell and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but I learned a lot about myself and what I'm capable of without him.

Ace said:

yes, i did....ive had a great time getting to know people since that night

everyone was awesome

To name this event may seem utterly stupid to many, but...

...the suicide of Kurt Cobain.

Up to that point, I was an aspiring musician intent on self destruction and looking up to him in particular as a role model. I was negative & miserable, and reveling in it. I thought all great art was about pain & misery, so the more I could inflict on myself the greater an artist I would be.

When he killed himself, I saw where that path ultimately led (not that I was doing heroin or anything) and it scared me into being more positive. I have no doubt that I am in a much better place because of it. Of course, I'm not a great artist now

There are lots of other events, but that's one that others may relate to as well.

Picking this up was also a turning point:



As was watching this:



and this:



Weirdly enough, reading this also led indirectly to a turning point:



And hearing this dude



talk about religion.

mdiver said:

with me.
it was when i was 5 i almost drowned.

at the age of 12 i had a weird food allegry attack

at the 17, due to my lifestyle at the time. i almost died in a combination of certain medication(be they legal or not)

then at age of 18 i figured i have to live for me and no one else,etc.. sounds stupid but meh. i can laugh it now

This, too:

Turning points in my life...

(goodness...)

watching my mom have a heart attack after smoking pot laced with some shit and I decided to stop smoking pot with her... I was 11, never used that shit again

standing up for myself and slapping the shit outta a little twit that talked shit about my mom, just to walk across the street to get ready for a good ass whooping by her older sister... her older sister saw everything and said... "she deserved the slap, wanna play with me?" me and her sister have been best friends since....

watching my neighbor getting gang raped by at least 20 boys, she thought she was "one of the guys" and liked to bully me, I was very afraid of her, but that day all I wanted to do was help her, but I was pulled away to safety by a boy that I thought hated me.... that boy saved me. That day I knew I was blessed and someone was watching over me.

at 15 seeing my mother get beat bloody again... and finally standing up and grabbing a bat. I stood over my mother that was curled up on the floor shaking and me and my sister looked that asshole in the eye and said "bring it muthafucker... you ain't gonna beat us all up not anymore" .... he unballed his fist and walked away and left the house.... we threw all his shit out the window, including all his cocaine

the day a life long friend of my brother held a loaded gun to my face, he was bipolar and high and he beat his girlfriend, I tried to get him to stop and he pulled the gun and held it at my face for over 20 minutes... I talked him down, I never cried... I just stayed calm and talked to him as if we were having tea.
that was not the first time someone held a gun in my face, so i wasn't afraid and I knew to stay calm. A year later after he sobered up I told him what he did, he cried like a baby, (this dude is 6'2" and over 300lbs ) and I told him I forgave him, because he was my little brother and I loved him.

The day I stood up to my sister...

the day I told my little brother I was so sorry for not protecting him from being sexually abused because I didn't think that is what that bastard was doing to him, my brother said its OK.... he can't never hurt me again and my brother forgave him. That day I knew my little brother became stronger than anyone I ever knew, he became my hero. I love him so

misspell edit
[Edited 2/11/09 14:07pm]