Are you sure, i have a 'Best of..." tape that rules: me in the 80 yr old outhouse taking a crap, me at the Grand Central Station crapper(now that thing's gross!), me at Yoshiki's Massage and Spa(very friendly girls mind you), and who can forget...me crapping a cowpie in the Burger King parking lot. I didn't get that address--Anxiety at ___?

The address would be Anxiety at The Very Idea.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure your One Shit Alone box set is a delightful viewing experience and all.

...would it hurt to install some damn noise machines or at least pipe in some damn MUZAK, so we wouldn't have to listen to each other's poop and fart noises? Isn't it enough of an indignity to know that right on the other side of some flimsy-ass formica partition there's some total stranger (or worse, a CO-WORKER) squeezing out logs, essentially RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?

GROSS!

At the very least, there should be some kind of sonic comfort standards in bathrooms, echoey as they are to begin with, to make us feel a little less self-conscious about our doodie noises. And from what's being said about old people in public bathrooms, some folks need all the help they can get.

I'm just sayin'.

Anxiety said:

PREACH IT!!!

Sometimes it sounds like Howitzer fire in there while other times it sounds like someone is watching a copy of "The Guns of the Navarone" in there.

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick!

Sometimes the farts will echo in the bowl and make a sound like tearing burlap...

HIROSHIMA, MOTHERFUCKER!

mrchristian said:

The address would be Anxiety at The Very Idea.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure your One Shit Alone box set is a delightful viewing experience and all.

Or the time a friend of mine got a tatoo on her ass and
didn't want anyone else to know so she told me to meet
her in the ladies toilets to have a look.

So we were in that cubicle, she dropped her pants and
I had a look. There was a big band aid over it and under
that there was the tatoo with a sort of gel on it still.

So I touched it and said

"Ooh, it's all wet"

And she said "Yes, that way it doesn't hurt so much"

"Go ahead and touch it"

So I put my finger on it and said

"Ugh I've never felt anything so grose".

I can't really remember the rest of the conversation but
it was pretty funny.

Anyway, by the time we stepped out of the cubicle together
there were at least 6 girls waiting outside with eyes the
size of sourcers giving us the "revolting devilchildren"
look.

There was no need in trying to explain what had happened,
we just consoled ourselves to the fact that from that day
forth we were known as "Those two that fucked in the toilet"

Or the time a friend of mine got a tatoo on her ass and
didn't want anyone else to know so she told me to meet
her in the ladies toilets to have a look.

So we were in that cubicle, she dropped her pants and
I had a look. There was a big band aid over it and under
that there was the tatoo with a sort of gel on it still.

So I touched it and said

"Ooh, it's all wet"

And she said "Yes, that way it doesn't hurt so much"

"Go ahead and touch it"

So I put my finger on it and said

"Ugh I've never felt anything so grose".

I can't really remember the rest of the conversation but
it was pretty funny.

Anyway, by the time we stepped out of the cubicle together
there were at least 6 girls waiting outside with eyes the
size of sourcers giving us the "revolting devilchildren"
look.

There was no need in trying to explain what had happened,
we just consoled ourselves to the fact that from that day
forth we were known as "Those two that fucked in the toilet"