It's very possible that she was on Medicaid, and if so, Medicaid has a fund that helps with funeral expenses. She would need to get in contact with Medicaid regarding that. I would also contact any of the local charity organizations in that area and ask if they know of any charity that would help towards funding for a funeral for an infant. Also, keep in mind that depending upon what the baby died from, some organizations that are geared toward childhood diseases and such may have funds available to help pay for funeral costs. Also, contact local hospices, they sometimes have foundations set up to help pay for funeral costs and can tell you how to get in contact with those foundations. Also, contact the local fire department and possibly police department, they can also possibly steer you toward organizations that can help with funeral costs. And, keep in mind that sometimes funeral homes can direct you to foundations and organizations to help defray funeral costs, and sometimes, those same funeral homes will help to minimize the costs. I had a patient who had nothing to help with funeral costs, and had no family. The funeral home deducted a large part of the funeral expense, and the funeral director stated that no one should go without having some kind of memorial service. What he didn't deduct, a foundation covered the rest.

I think it's very commendable to want to help the family. You can gather donations together for this family without having to go through any particular channels, however, it's still risky, because if someone really wanted to call you on it, whether the money went where it was supposed to, they could. Keep meticulous records of who gives you what, and when you give it to whoever you give it to, have them sign a statement showing that you gave them however much you give to them. That way it shows the money went where it was supposed to.

An old fiance of mine, had left me for my best friend and they ended up getting engaged. About 2 weeks before they were to marry she was in a car accident which took her life. She left behind two small children from a previous marriage and it broke my heart to think of them being without their mom, so I collected money for them. I kept a detailed account of how much was collected, who had given me what, on what date, and then delivered it to my ex-fiance's mom, who signed a statement showing that I had given her almost $600. I had one individual question me on it, and I was able to pull those records forward and show how much that individual had given me, on what date they'd given it to me, and how much I had given to my ex-fiance's mom, which the figures matched exactly what I had recorded that I had gathered. Also, give receipts that they gave you that amount, and keep copies of those receipts.

Good luck sweetie, and my heart goes out to this mom and her remaining children. It's hard losing a baby. It's not something that you get over easily. Also, if you speak with her, find out if there is a grief group in your area and recommend that she go. The support really helps.

Thank you for all your advice baby At bingo if they give me an extra ticket I run and pay for it right away I'm a freak when it comes to stuff like cheating. Can't do it because I know there would be ramifications and stealing money that is supposed to go to the expenses of a dead baby is a death sentence far as I'm concerned But thank you for your contribution. I means a lot to me

You're welcome sweetie. Just keep in mind there are organizations out there that will help towards covering funeral expenses. Most people don't know to go looking for them though, or even where to start. (I wouldn't have known about them either, or even where to look, until I started working for hospice.)

If the mother can go through an organization to help pay for the funeral costs, that would be the best way to go, and any donations you get could go towards helping her to help her children.

Here are some links to some hospice organizations and such, and you might contact some of them regarding assistance with funeral costs or where to go to get assistance with funeral costs: http://www.hospicecare.ne...ources.php
[Edited 1/23/09 17:37pm]

Supa, you have the BIGGEST heart. You are a wonderful person. Such a sad story.