My poem to cigarettes

Dear cigarettes, why are you so great
but so bad for me
i like smoking
but i walk like the old guy from steptoe and son
like the fat easy slapper on a works night out
i keep coming back
cause it's easier to give in
than try and get something better
and ultimately disappoint and frustrate yourself


oh wonderful fags (not gay)
after my super noodles
you taste so fine
likewise with a bottle of (normally cheap and potent) wine
but when you start coughing up black shit its time for a new hobby
like stamp collecting. or something


I'm 11 again, and I have just smoked my 1st cigarette
i look hard
and more attractive to the opposite sex
15 years later i live in a council house with a fat bitch who wont cook
thats down to you, cigarettes. FUCK YOU MR BENSONS!

FIN


(the subjects in this poem are purely fictional and any similarity to real people is purely coincidental or you are from somewhere in the UK)

I'm speechless.....

I wonder if I could get someone to top my birthday cake tonight with cigarettes rather than candles. I wouldn't want to blow them out, though....

Wow I'm glad I was never addicted to cigarettes. I stopped cold turkey


Smooches;)

That was great. :falloff;

Here's mine on the same subject

Twenty suicidal tendencies a day,
Tired but yet old.
Bed-ridden, and animated only in sporadic, violent oscillation,
And looking every one of my years two-fold.
"The seventeenth 'last time' will be the easiest", I joked.
The doctor was not amused and his whole countenance frowned.
I croaked.
From lip to brow and back again, a wave of disapproval.
"What are we going to do with you?", he said.
"I don't know, but if you give me a cigarette I'll be your best friend."
He took his frown and rose from beside my bed.
I croaked again and drifted off to sleep, smiling foolishly to the end.

.
[Edited 1/21/09 16:53pm]

Here is my poem to the smoker.

Smokers coughin'
smokers coffin.



thanks.

that's beautiful in the fucked up sense of the word.

sermwanderer said:

i've recently quit after smoking a packet a day for 10 years.

today i'm exactly 90 days clean

I have been smoke free since August 2007(1 yr and half next month) me

Who here smokes?

3121 said:

Great

Smoking killed Frank Zappa. That's enough for me.

toots said:

nice!

IstenSzek said:

I hit 5 months smoke-free this past Sunday after smoking half a packet a day for 16 years.

I had to run for the bus this morning and when I got on I was NOT all out of breath. It made me smile when I realized that.

CarrieMpls said:

5 months! that is so good of you keep it up. there's nothing but
benefits in being a non smoker. i finally see that now. after all this
time.

anyway, five months

CarrieMpls said:

congratulations.

CarrieMpls said:

that is freakin' awesome.

Never started. So glad cuz otherwise I'd be living with a fat bitch in England

sermwanderer said:

that part is really tragic

missjay23 said:

As Bill Hicks Would Say:

"The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too u fuckers?"

Cigarettes are glorified sticks.

phunkdaddy said:

delicious, soothing, buzzy sticks.

ZombieKitten said:

PanthaGirl said:

Oh, if Bill Hicks said something then it must be true. my appologies.. end of debate. Perhaps if the guy hadn't smoked himself he would still be alive today. His ill informed comparison of smokers to people with disability is self piying, pathetic and badly thought out.

He is comparing choice to non-choice. Smoking isn't a disability or something he has to live with. It is a choice. Non smokers may cough around a smoker - thats because you are filling their clean lungs with poison. How can that be likened to taunting somebody with a disability? A disabled person, hasnt made the choice to be impaired.. nor is their disability a problem or health risk to me. Smokers CHOOSE to damage their health. Furthermore, their actions damage the health of those around them who choose not to smoke. Considering that, I say they are entitled to tell you not to smoke near them.

Lets look at it like this - Bill Hicks feels victimised because somebody coughs around him when he fills the air and lungs of those around him with toxic fumes. However, when a non-smoker complains that passive smoking can actually damage or kill them.. well then we're a bunch of bitching do gooders trying to take away his social liberties. Hmm sound argument there.

Best thing that happened was making it illegal to smoke inside public places. It is a dirty, anti-social habbit. If you enjoy it, thats fine, smoke yourself to death if you so choose. However, have some respect for people who do not. Whatever u think your human rights are - it does not include you damaging another pesons health.

great job to those who quit

3121 said:

Lolol wow ur patronizing partiality, along with ur poorly thought out poem and attempt at bias now bore me.

and remember I was only quoting a comedian...

In saying that, he was not comparing "choice to non choice", he was making a valid point towards mocking in regards to when non smokers deliberately mock smokers by walking into their (smoking) space, and cough in their faces. That's the travesty.

If smoking bothers U, then do not go near designated smoking areas.

and now...'Here's Tom With The Weather'.

wth

sermwanderer said:

LMMFAO.