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so tell me all about your funniest sex stories Everybody's got one. Some people have several. A moment during sex that just made you bust out laughing.
Here be mine, ladies and gents. This happened a few years ago. So some friends and I are having a movie night. American Psycho is on. My current (at the time) humpbuddy and I got a tad bored, and one thing led to another. We didn't bother to leave the room, just kept the volume down so as not to disturb the moviegoing experience too much. My crowd's pretty open about stuff like that. Now, at one point, I notice he keeps turning his head to look back at the tv screen. And as he climaxes, he yells out, "Man, Christian Bale is SO hot!" I 'bout died laughing. So did everyone else in the room. If I ever meet Mr. Bale, I'm going to inform him that I got to be him for a night. I have to say though, I think I'd make a pretty swell Batman. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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Ok I'll share....
Mine's is this one... It was New Year's Eve and it was very late, so me and babydaddy put the kiddies to bed at around 11pm. Our son (7 at the time) and our daughter (age5). They were fast asleep and we happily got our private party on! It was close to midnight and we were getting dizzy off the champagne and strawberries.... the clothes came off and he fucked my brains out I was cumming HARD into the New Year. A week later, Matt is playing with Nia and they are playing hide and seek. He is seeking her but is having a hard time finding her, so he starts calling her name.... "Nia.....Nia.....Nia.....NIA.....NIA..... NIA...NIA!..NIA!..NIA!.NIA!NIA!NNNIIIIIAAAAA!!!! Lawd | |
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paintedlady said: Ok I'll share....
Mine's is this one... It was New Year's Eve and it was very late, so me and babydaddy put the kiddies to bed at around 11pm. Our son (7 at the time) and our daughter (age5). They were fast asleep and we happily got our private party on! It was close to midnight and we were getting dizzy off the champagne and strawberries.... the clothes came off and he fucked my brains out I was cumming HARD into the New Year. A week later, Matt is playing with Nia and they are playing hide and seek. He is seeking her but is having a hard time finding her, so he starts calling her name.... "Nia.....Nia.....Nia.....NIA.....NIA..... NIA...NIA!..NIA!..NIA!.NIA!NIA!NNNIIIIIAAAAA!!!! Lawd Good story. I bet you'll be a titch quieter next time, even if you do think the juniors are sleeping. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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meow85 said: paintedlady said: Ok I'll share....
Mine's is this one... It was New Year's Eve and it was very late, so me and babydaddy put the kiddies to bed at around 11pm. Our son (7 at the time) and our daughter (age5). They were fast asleep and we happily got our private party on! It was close to midnight and we were getting dizzy off the champagne and strawberries.... the clothes came off and he fucked my brains out I was cumming HARD into the New Year. A week later, Matt is playing with Nia and they are playing hide and seek. He is seeking her but is having a hard time finding her, so he starts calling her name.... "Nia.....Nia.....Nia.....NIA.....NIA..... NIA...NIA!..NIA!..NIA!.NIA!NIA!NNNIIIIIAAAAA!!!! Lawd Good story. I bet you'll be a titch quieter next time, even if you do think the juniors are sleeping. *face in the pillow* YUP! | |
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My wife raised her head once at a critical moment, breaking my nose
she didn't realize as I said don't worry and ran off to the bathroom I was covered in blood, she came in also covered in blood we got in the shower and it looked like psycho Ok, that doesn't read so funny, but we were laughing by the end Le prego di non toccare la macchina per favore! | |
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ThirdandFinal said: My wife raised her head once at a critical moment, breaking my nose
she didn't realize as I said don't worry and ran off to the bathroom I was covered in blood, she came in also covered in blood we got in the shower and it looked like psycho Ok, that doesn't read so funny, but we were laughing by the end I'd have been laughing pretty hard. Well, maybe not if I was the one with the broken nose, but still. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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ThirdandFinal said: My wife raised her head once at a critical moment, breaking my nose
she didn't realize as I said don't worry and ran off to the bathroom I was covered in blood, she came in also covered in blood we got in the shower and it looked like psycho Ok, that doesn't read so funny, but we were laughing by the end lol wow | |
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ThirdandFinal said: My wife raised her head once at a critical moment, breaking my nose
she didn't realize as I said don't worry and ran off to the bathroom I was covered in blood, she came in also covered in blood we got in the shower and it looked like psycho Ok, that doesn't read so funny, but we were laughing by the end | |
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meow85 said: Everybody's got one. Some people have several. A moment during sex that just made you bust out laughing.
Here be mine, ladies and gents. This happened a few years ago. So some friends and I are having a movie night. American Psycho is on. My current (at the time) humpbuddy and I got a tad bored, and one thing led to another. We didn't bother to leave the room, just kept the volume down so as not to disturb the moviegoing experience too much. My crowd's pretty open about stuff like that. Now, at one point, I notice he keeps turning his head to look back at the tv screen. And as he climaxes, he yells out, "Man, Christian Bale is SO hot!" I 'bout died laughing. So did everyone else in the room. If I ever meet Mr. Bale, I'm going to inform him that I got to be him for a night. I have to say though, I think I'd make a pretty swell Batman. You did it in a room with a bunch of your frinds WHILST watching a movie....American Psycho at that??? surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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KidaDynamite said: meow85 said: Everybody's got one. Some people have several. A moment during sex that just made you bust out laughing.
Here be mine, ladies and gents. This happened a few years ago. So some friends and I are having a movie night. American Psycho is on. My current (at the time) humpbuddy and I got a tad bored, and one thing led to another. We didn't bother to leave the room, just kept the volume down so as not to disturb the moviegoing experience too much. My crowd's pretty open about stuff like that. Now, at one point, I notice he keeps turning his head to look back at the tv screen. And as he climaxes, he yells out, "Man, Christian Bale is SO hot!" I 'bout died laughing. So did everyone else in the room. If I ever meet Mr. Bale, I'm going to inform him that I got to be him for a night. I have to say though, I think I'd make a pretty swell Batman. You did it in a room with a bunch of your frinds WHILST watching a movie....American Psycho at that??? This is what some people do when their bodies are nice and tight... do that shit when you are over 30 and those same friends WILL complain. | |
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KidaDynamite said: meow85 said: Everybody's got one. Some people have several. A moment during sex that just made you bust out laughing.
Here be mine, ladies and gents. This happened a few years ago. So some friends and I are having a movie night. American Psycho is on. My current (at the time) humpbuddy and I got a tad bored, and one thing led to another. We didn't bother to leave the room, just kept the volume down so as not to disturb the moviegoing experience too much. My crowd's pretty open about stuff like that. Now, at one point, I notice he keeps turning his head to look back at the tv screen. And as he climaxes, he yells out, "Man, Christian Bale is SO hot!" I 'bout died laughing. So did everyone else in the room. If I ever meet Mr. Bale, I'm going to inform him that I got to be him for a night. I have to say though, I think I'd make a pretty swell Batman. You did it in a room with a bunch of your frinds WHILST watching a movie....American Psycho at that??? Well, only two friends, but yeah. Most of us have a pretty huge comfort zone, and not much by the way of personal boundaries when it comes to each other. I know it's not normal, but it's normal for us. I'm just glad we weren't watching Bale in The Machinist. THEN I'd have been a little alarmed. [Edited 12/18/08 18:22pm] "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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paintedlady said: KidaDynamite said: You did it in a room with a bunch of your frinds WHILST watching a movie....American Psycho at that??? This is what some people do when their bodies are nice and tight... do that shit when you are over 30 and those same friends WILL complain. surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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meow85 said: KidaDynamite said: You did it in a room with a bunch of your frinds WHILST watching a movie....American Psycho at that??? Well, only two friends, but yeah. Most of us have a pretty huge comfort zone, and not much by the way of personal boundaries when it comes to each other. I know it's not normal, but it's normal for us. I'm just glad we weren't watching Bale in The Machinist. THEN I'd have been a little alarmed. [Edited 12/18/08 18:22pm] WOW! That's what I call comfortable. surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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meow85 said: KidaDynamite said: You did it in a room with a bunch of your frinds WHILST watching a movie....American Psycho at that??? Well, only two friends, but yeah. Most of us have a pretty huge comfort zone, and not much by the way of personal boundaries when it comes to each other. I know it's not normal, but it's normal for us. I'm just glad we weren't watching Bale in The Machinist. THEN I'd have been a little alarmed. [Edited 12/18/08 18:22pm] Ewww, even his face was nasty in that one.. bag.of.bones. [Edited 12/18/08 18:34pm] | |
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paintedlady said: meow85 said: Well, only two friends, but yeah. Most of us have a pretty huge comfort zone, and not much by the way of personal boundaries when it comes to each other. I know it's not normal, but it's normal for us. I'm just glad we weren't watching Bale in The Machinist. THEN I'd have been a little alarmed. [Edited 12/18/08 18:22pm] Ewww, even his face was nasty in that one.. bag.of.bones. [Edited 12/18/08 18:34pm] Yeah, it was not pretty. So glad that movie wasn't on the docket for the night. It's one thing to have somebody sexin' you to envision you as a dapper, charming rich guy ( who just happens to be a killer) but to have them picture you as Skeletor? Though I suppose most girls would've been weirded out by being pictured as a guy in the first place, so I think I read somewhere that he only took a few months from starving himself for The Machinist, to getting all big 'n' beefy for Batman, and that his docs were giving him dire warnings about heart strain. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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KidaDynamite said: meow85 said: Well, only two friends, but yeah. Most of us have a pretty huge comfort zone, and not much by the way of personal boundaries when it comes to each other. I know it's not normal, but it's normal for us. I'm just glad we weren't watching Bale in The Machinist. THEN I'd have been a little alarmed. [Edited 12/18/08 18:22pm] WOW! That's what I call comfortable. I wouldn't do that with all of my friends. But some it's such a non-issue, they might as well be a goldfish watching for all it bothers me. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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meow85 said: Everybody's got one. Some people have several. A moment during sex that just made you bust out laughing.
Here be mine, ladies and gents. This happened a few years ago. So some friends and I are having a movie night. American Psycho is on. My current (at the time) humpbuddy and I got a tad bored, and one thing led to another. We didn't bother to leave the room, just kept the volume down so as not to disturb the moviegoing experience too much. My crowd's pretty open about stuff like that. Now, at one point, I notice he keeps turning his head to look back at the tv screen. And as he climaxes, he yells out, "Man, Christian Bale is SO hot!" I 'bout died laughing. So did everyone else in the room. If I ever meet Mr. Bale, I'm going to inform him that I got to be him for a night. I have to say though, I think I'd make a pretty swell Batman. that's crazy!! | |
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surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years... | |
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meow85 said: paintedlady said: Ewww, even his face was nasty in that one.. bag.of.bones. [Edited 12/18/08 18:34pm] Yeah, it was not pretty. So glad that movie wasn't on the docket for the night. It's one thing to have somebody sexin' you to envision you as a dapper, charming rich guy ( who just happens to be a killer) but to have them picture you as Skeletor? Though I suppose most girls would've been weirded out by being pictured as a guy in the first place, so I think I read somewhere that he only took a few months from starving himself for The Machinist, to getting all big 'n' beefy for Batman, and that his docs were giving him dire warnings about heart strain. Yeah he is very intense about "getting into character", he was fasting so much that he lost tons of muscle. To then bulk up for the other role he had to work on re-building muscle and rumors were circulating about him passing out at the gym several times, so docs were nervous about his heart. He is so disciplined to allow himself to go to those physical extremes. | |
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paintedlady said: meow85 said: Yeah, it was not pretty. So glad that movie wasn't on the docket for the night. It's one thing to have somebody sexin' you to envision you as a dapper, charming rich guy ( who just happens to be a killer) but to have them picture you as Skeletor? Though I suppose most girls would've been weirded out by being pictured as a guy in the first place, so I think I read somewhere that he only took a few months from starving himself for The Machinist, to getting all big 'n' beefy for Batman, and that his docs were giving him dire warnings about heart strain. Yeah he is very intense about "getting into character", he was fasting so much that he lost tons of muscle. To then bulk up for the other role he had to work on re-building muscle and rumors were circulating about him passing out at the gym several times, so docs were nervous about his heart. He is so disciplined to allow himself to go to those physical extremes. I believe it. Bale's a pretty intense, dedicated performer. I can't help but feel a little concerned though whenever I hear of an actor who really pushes themselves like that, emotionally or physically, for the sake of a role. He's not the first person to put his mental or bodily health on the line for a movie role, and end up either doing some damage to himself or getting dire warnings from the medicales. Didn't Jared Leto gain a whole bunch of weight really fast to play Mark David Chapman, and then the movie ended up being shelved? "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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I'll be back. You know I got some good ones
Take your pick: Purple Marbles Mommy The Flood I got more if you need them [Edited 12/19/08 17:45pm] 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: I'll be back. You know I got some good ones
Take your pick: Purple Marbles Mommy The Flood I got more if you need them [Edited 12/19/08 17:45pm] PURPLE MARBLES! | |
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I dog sit my friend's pitbull a lot. He is very loveable and I spoil the shit outta him. When boyfriend and I get affectionate, he likes to shove his big ass head in between us.
One night this fool kept on trying to get into bed, carrying on, and barking, while we were getting it on. Finally had to get up and put his ass out. But I closed the door and we finished. That could be really lame or funny. But his big 70 pound ass was hard to shove off the bed over n over. I guess he just wanted some love too. That's what I get for spoiling him. | |
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KatSkrizzle said: I dog sit my friend's pitbull a lot. He is very loveable and I spoil the shit outta him. When boyfriend and I get affectionate, he likes to shove his big ass head in between us.
One night this fool kept on trying to get into bed, carrying on, and barking, while we were getting it on. Finally had to get up and put his ass out. But I closed the door and we finished. That could be really lame or funny. But his big 70 pound ass was hard to shove off the bed over n over. I guess he just wanted some love too. That's what I get for spoiling him. My dog Prince has been known to jump up in the bed with looking all frantic like, "What are you doing to Mommy????" | |
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KatSkrizzle said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: I'll be back. You know I got some good ones
Take your pick: Purple Marbles Mommy The Flood I got more if you need them [Edited 12/19/08 17:45pm] PURPLE MARBLES! so.... I hook up with this older guy, but he's way way hot. So he's on some DL shit or somethin so he takes me to his work office. So we get naked and start rolling around throughout the office and he sits in an office chair and my face goes in his lap. Well eventually he wants to bitch out and so he lifts his legs to hook them on the arms of the chair and he pushes my face down so I can tongue his crackhole and as I got closer I saw that his asshole was ringed with giant purple marble sized hemorrhoids! Soon as I saw that shit I pulled my head away and like a very innocent boy said Oh no, I don't do that How the hell are you gonna push my face in your ass when you know that shit's a natural disaster! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: KatSkrizzle said: PURPLE MARBLES! so.... I hook up with this older guy, but he's way way hot. So he's on some DL shit or somethin so he takes me to his work office. So we get naked and start rolling around throughout the office and he sits in an office chair and my face goes in his lap. Well eventually he wants to bitch out and so he lifts his legs to hook them on the arms of the chair and he pushes my face down so I can tongue his crackhole and as I got closer I saw that his asshole was ringed with giant purple marble sized hemorrhoids! Soon as I saw that shit I pulled my head away and like a very innocent boy said Oh no, I don't do that How the hell are you gonna push my face in your ass when you know that shit's a natural disaster! Natural disaster! | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: KatSkrizzle said: PURPLE MARBLES! so.... I hook up with this older guy, but he's way way hot. So he's on some DL shit or somethin so he takes me to his work office. So we get naked and start rolling around throughout the office and he sits in an office chair and my face goes in his lap. Well eventually he wants to bitch out and so he lifts his legs to hook them on the arms of the chair and he pushes my face down so I can tongue his crackhole and as I got closer I saw that his asshole was ringed with giant purple marble sized hemorrhoids! Soon as I saw that shit I pulled my head away and like a very innocent boy said Oh no, I don't do that How the hell are you gonna push my face in your ass when you know that shit's a natural disaster! | |
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SCNDLS said: KatSkrizzle said: I dog sit my friend's pitbull a lot. He is very loveable and I spoil the shit outta him. When boyfriend and I get affectionate, he likes to shove his big ass head in between us.
One night this fool kept on trying to get into bed, carrying on, and barking, while we were getting it on. Finally had to get up and put his ass out. But I closed the door and we finished. That could be really lame or funny. But his big 70 pound ass was hard to shove off the bed over n over. I guess he just wanted some love too. That's what I get for spoiling him. My dog Prince has been known to jump up in the bed with looking all frantic like, "What are you doing to Mommy????" He now has to be put out of a room before we get it on. I swear sometimes dogs are like kids! | |
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