America's Worst Mall Foods!
Posted Wed, Dec 17, 2008, 3:28 pm PST
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It’s that time of year again, when you’re logging more hours than ever at the mall. Blame stress, blame shopping fatigue, or blame the irresistible smell of food-court treats slamming your senses from the minute you walk in the door—whatever the reason, you’ll probably end up chowing down at the mall during your shopping trip.

Here’s the danger: Studies have shown that the more temptation people resist, the harder it becomes to continue resisting. That means after hours of being surrounded by last-minute sales, special offers and life-changing, one-time deals, your ability to resist the enticing edibles of the mall food court may be severely compromised. And considering the industrial-strength calorie bombs we uncovered while researching the Eat This, Not That! series, a lack of willpower in the presence of mall eateries can be a very dangerous thing.

Fortunately, we’ve developed a guide to help you navigate the nutritional pitfalls that pollute nearly every mall food court in America. What follows is a list of the worst foods we discovered in our scramble to save shoppers serious calories in the holiday season. Proceed with caution.

WORST CHINESE MEAL
Panda Express
Orange Chicken
500 calories
27 g fat (5.5 g saturated, 1 g trans)
42 g carbs
810 mg sodium

FAT EQUIVALENT: 9 strips of Oscar Mayer Bacon!

Compared to other traditional Chinese meals (think multi-serving takeout boxes of carb-loaded lo mein), 500 calories doesn’t seem so bad. But consider the source—one small serving of Panda Express orange chicken usually comes with a second entrée (add another 300-400 calories) and a side of rice (add 450 calories if you choose the fried variety, 380 for the steamed). Make it a double serving of orange chicken and a side of fried rice and you’ve just consumed 75 percent of your day’s calories in one moment of weakness.

Eat This Instead:
Broccoli Beef
150 calories
7 g fat (1.5 g saturated)
510 mg sodium
11 g carbs

WORST SNACK
Auntie Anne’s
Glazin’ Raisin Pretzel
510 calories
107 g carbs
4 g fat (2 g saturated)
480 mg sodium

CALORIC EQUIVALENT: 2 slices of Pizza Hut cheese pizza!

It’s hard to consider this meal. Not all of Auntie Anne’s options are this heavy, though. The jalapeno pretzel (without butter) is a reasonable-sized snack that can give you the energy boost you need to make it through your shopping spree, without loading you down and threatening your waistline.

Eat This Instead:
Jalapeno Pretzel, no butter
270 calories
58 g carbs
1 g fat (0 g saturated)
780 mg sodium

WORST SLICE OF PIZZA
Sbarro
Stuffed Pepperoni Pizza, 1 slice
890 calories
g fat: unknown
mg sodium: unknown

CALORIC EQUIVALENT: 3 Snickers bars!

It’s probably no surprise that a pizza labeled “stuffed” would pack a caloric punch—but 890 calories for a single slice? You’d have to eat 3 Snickers bars, or 20 Chicken McNuggets, or 15 KFC Hot Wings to match that load. And that’s not even taking into account what are surely stratospheric fat and sodium counts. (Sbarro’s doesn’t release full nutritional information for their menu items. Check out what other dirty little secrets your favorite restaurants are hiding in this eye-popping expose!)

Eat This Instead!
New York Style Thin Crust Cheese, 1 slice
460 calories

WORST SIDE
Steak Escape
Ranch and Bacon Fries
1,044 calories
71 g fat
1,398 mg sodium
84 g carbs

CALORIC EQUIVALENT: 23 McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets!

Consuming half your day’s allowance of calories in one meal is bad enough—but in one side dish? Claiming innocence will never hold up in a Food Court of Law, though—not when a flood of ranch, a flurry of bacon, and a mountain of fried potatoes are involved. Until some nutritionally savvy company starts baking their fries in the oven, you’ll need to seek out alternative treatments to get your spud fix.

Eat This Instead:
Smashed Potatoes
246 calories
0 g fat
43 mg sodium
53 g carbs

WORST DRINK
Smoothie King
Grape Expectations II (40 oz)
1,096 calories
0 g fat (0 g saturated)
266 g carbs
250 g sugars

SUGAR EQUIVALENT: 13 Dunkin’ Donuts Chocolate Frosted Donuts!

Smoothie King calls this a way to “snack right”; we call it one of the quickest ways to pack on extra pounds. Even if most of the sugar comes from some form of fruit or fruit juice (in this case, ultra-sweet grape juice), the resulting blood-sugar surge (and inevitable energy crash) from this much sweetness may leave you struggling to find that last gift for Aunt Elma.

Drink This Instead:
Slim-N-Trim Orange-Vanilla 20 oz
250 calories
1 g fat (0 g saturated)
46 g carbs
38 g sugars

WORST BREAKFAST
Cinnabon
Regular Caramel Pecanbun
1,100 calories
56 g fat (10 g saturated, 5 g trans)
141 g carbs
47 g sugars

CALORIC EQUIVALENT: 8 White Castle hamburgers

Cinnabon and malls are inseparable. Consider it a symbiotic relationship: Researchers have found that men are turned on by the smell of cinnamon rolls, and further studies have shown that men are more likely to spend money when they’re thinking about sex. But just because Cinnabon might be good for the Gap doesn’t mean it’s at all good for you. This dangerously bloated bun—among these Fattiest Foods in America—contains nearly an entire day’s worth of fat and more than half of your daily allotment of calories. Reconsider your breakfast or snack options, but if you absolutely must eat something, make it Stix.

Eat This Instead:
Cinnabon Stix
379 calories
21 g fat (6 g saturated, 4 g trans)
41 g carbs
14 g sugars

WORST SOUP
Au Bon Pain
Large Macaroni and Cheese Stew with Bread Bowl
1,120 calories
42 g fat (19 g saturated, 1 g trans)
3,070 mg sodium
157 g carbs

SODIUM EQUIVALENT: 22 small orders of McDonald’s French Fries!

Whether it’s made from a giant fried tortilla or a massive hunk of sourdough, if you’re serving vessel is edible, you’re asking for trouble. In this case, the bread bowl adds a belly-building 600 calories to what is already one of America’s most decadent, over-the-top spoonables. If soup’s your thing, you’ll have a hard time keeping the sodium down no matter which bowl you order; good, old-fashioned tomato soup is as good as you’ll do at Au Bon Pain.

Eat This Instead:
Medium Old Fashioned Tomato Soup
200 calories
7 g fat (3 g saturated)
1,150 mg sodium
27 g carbs

WORST MALL FOOD IN AMERICA
Quizno’s
Large Tuna Melt Club with cheese and dressing
1,820 calories
147 g fat (27 g saturated, 1.5 g trans)
2,020 mg sodium
85 g carbs

CALORIC EQUIVALENT: 12 Taco Bell Fresco Style Beef Tacos!

Tuna off the grill or straight from the can is perfectly healthy; tuna drowning in mayonnaise, blanketed in melted cheese, and slicked with oily dressing is decidedly not. Not only does this sandwich carry with it nearly an entire day’s worth of calories and sodium, it also contains as much fat as 49 strips of bacon. In fact, it’s so bad that it will replace Quizno’s Classic Italian in our list of the 20 Worst Foods in America when we update it for 2009.

Eat This Instead:
Small Tuna Melt, no cheese, no dressing
500 calories
33 g fat (5 g saturated)
630 mg sodium
37 g carbs

...that's jacked up...when I come home, people don't understand, but alllll I want to eat is mall food

...that, and Cheesecake Factory!

This nutrition data totally fucks up my fantasy about the goodness of food.from.my.HOMELAND.

I feel like I need to work out just from reading that. Damn.

Damn..I like orange chicken. Damn..I like the glazin raisin pretzel too. Damn...I have a sweet tooth for caramel pecan buns. My tummy hurts