Forgive...sure! Forget...hell naw!

it depends on what it is. I can forgive but because I don't forget and it maybe referenced later down the line it comes across as if I didn't forgive when I actually have or had.

here's my question about forgive and forget and it may seem silly but I've asked many and gotten different positions on the question. if you forgive are you not suppose to ever bring it up again since you've fogiven that person?
[Edited 11/22/08 16:50pm]

Reply to 'do you forgive and forget?'

No. Not that easy.

no

Protege said:

I CAN RELATE

Statuesqque said:

there are different scenarios.... no, you don't bring it up, but.. if a person has a habit and pattern of offending... you know what they're about... you pretty much expect it... there are other scenarios though..

Flowers2 said:

that's my thinking as well, that you don't but if you know there's a habit/pattern referencing it shouldn't be viewed as not having forgiven. but you're right there are different scenarios and it's relative to each individual situation. it's just interesting to me how it changes the deeper you examine the simple do you forgive and forget question. it's really not that simple when you think about it or it could just be me thinking too much again.

Statuesqque said:

I mean, yes, if a person asks me for forgiveness 30x, I'd forgive them and let it go cause I have to remember that I too have to look in the mirror and surely I've committed offenses (and I'd want forgiveness from others)..... but you would always remember the offense...

KidaDynamite said:

No way, man!

Some people don't deserve to be forgiven. Forget? Never. If I wanna keep my sanity, always be aware of what they did.

Flowers2 said:

totally agree with you on that cause lord knows I'm no angel. I'm learning to not reference things that I've already forgiven.

Depends, sometimes I forgive and forget and sometimes I forgive but never forget.

JustErin said:

Exactly.

as much as I would like to, I can never forget

I used to be the type to hold serious grudges. I used to not speak to someone who I felt wronged me for years and years. I didn't realize I held such strong grudges until one of my close friends pointed it out to me. This year especially, I've made a concerted effort to forgive people more. I've reconciled with a few and they're some of my closest associates now. Also I still care about those who I'm not on speaking terms with but I will engage them once we come around.

It depends on the situation. If it was something that was really hurtful, I can usually forgive, but I never forget. NEVER.

If asked for forgiveness by an individual, it's usually very easy for me to forgive. But so few ask, so it's hard for me to forgive if I have to keep dealing with the person, but I guess in time I do let things go, a very long time. To forget, as in never to bring it up again, once talked through, and an understanding is reached, I can put the whole thing in a box and never bring it up again. But just randomly letting people just screw me over and automatically forgiving them, NOPE, I look at it more as once fooled shame on them twice fooled shame on me. I'm trying to adopt the DeShawn attitude and play it off like I didn't even notice, or like there is some kind of obvious excuse on why this that or the other happened, and just let it go and move on.
[Edited 11/22/08 19:57pm]

almost always. only a handful have had the opportunity to pushed me to the point or neither forgiving or forgetting.

it's gotta be some pretty heavy shit for me to hold a serious grudge...so yeah, I usually do...

I normally reach the point of not givng a damn before I have a chance to forgive or forget....

JustErin said:

Do you sometimes forget but not forgive?


Most of the time I forgive and let go. I can't say I forget, but I can say that I'm putting it behind me.

There has never been a time where I have not eventually come to a place of forgiveness. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get there though.

I still haven't completely forgiven my ex for the things he pulled. I'm working on it. Time helps. I'm moving on.

I do and I have

Always forgive.

Holding on only hurts the vessel. ( Learned that the hard way many years past.)

Hmm, may take a minute but I live a full life, not much time for looking back. So, forget as well. They arent worth remembering really.

Ok, but, yet and still, should I reflect back, I do wish them well. I hope they have elevated from the mire as have I.

nope.....

gyro34 said:

this is an interesting comment.

It takes a hell of a lot to truly piss me off and there's plenty of warning signs, once you crossed that point. you're dead to me.