Please post them.

Q: What do you call two men hanging from a window?

A: Curt and Rod.

ArielB said:

:cannedapplause:

Thanks.

How do u make a tissue dance ??

put a little boogie in it

Man goes to the doctor and says "I get a boner every time I look in a mirror!"

Doctor says, "Don't worry, your dick knows a pussy when it sees one."

SCNDLS said:

Recently,a husband and wife went grocery shopping together. The husband wandered over to the liquor section where he found a 12 pack of beer on sale for $10.00. He caught up to the wife in the toiletry isle where she was looking at beauty creams. He mentioned his luck in finding the beer on sale and inquires as to what she is looking for. She says "I'm looking for my beauty cream, it's $20 but that's what makes me look so beautiful". The husband mumbled just loud enough for her to hear "this 12 pack will do the same thing for half the price".

dang!!!..competition

funkpill said:

Maybe it's time to shave ?

Serious said:

snuck another one in there huh?

funkpill said:

I SERIOUSly love your jokes .

Love em all.

Serious said:

Y thank U...i think

Flowers2 said:

Why did George Michael get chocolate all over him? He was careless with his Wispa.

Two midgets go to Las Vegas. They meet a couple willing girls at the bar, and take them to their rooms, which are adjoining.

The first midget gets his girl in bed, they strip, but disaster! He cannot get it up. No matter what they try, it's of no use. To make it worse, all night long he hears his buddy next door, screaming "ONE, TWO, THREE, UUUUUMMMPPPPHHHH!!!!! ONE, TWO, THREE, UUUUUMMPHHH!!!!!"

The next morning, the second midget runs into the first midget at the breakfast bar. "How'd it go last night?" he asks his friend.

The first midget says, "It was the worst night of my life. I was naked, she was naked, we were in bed, but I couldn't get it up!"

The second midget replies, "At least you were able to make it up into the bed!"

RodeoSchro said:

lol

OK, memorize this joke, and tell it when you've been drinking. Your friends will be impressed:

Fred gets pulled over by a cop. The cop asks for his license, and Fred replies, "I left my wallet at home". The cop asks for his name, and Fred says, "Fred. No last name, just Fred". The cop doesn't like this explanation but Fred says, "Hold on. Before you arrest me, let me explain.

"You see, my full name used to be Fred Dingaling. I know, funny name. As you can imagine, I was made fun of a lot, so I stayed inside most of the time and studied. I made such good grades that I decided to be a doctor, and I got into medical school.

"I passed my boards and became Fred Dingaling, M.D. I practiced medicine for a couple years, but I decided what I really wanted to be was a dentist. So I went to dental school, passed my dental boards, and became Fred Dingaling, M.D. D.D.S.

"I hired a cute assistant, and one thing led to another. But she gave me a sexually transmitted disease, so I became Fred Dingaling, M.D. D.D.S. with VD.

"The AMA found out about VD so they took away my MD and I became Fred Dingaling, D.D.S with VD. Then the ADA found out the AMA took away my MD because of the VD, so they took away my DDS, which made me Fred Dingaling, VD.

"Then the VD took away my Dingaling, and now I'm just Fred."

The officer let Fred go without a warning.

ArielB said:

the fuck?????

Flowers2 said:

"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me
the truth even if it costs them their jobs." -- Samuel Goldwyn

Flowers2 said:

Then he'd want to hire me.

ImAKawak said:

The shortest job I will ever have.

Flowers2 said:

I once saw a bumper sticker that read:

Bumper to bumper
Butt to butt
Get off my ass
You crazy nut!

I told a good friend of mine, "If I ever see that bumper sticker in a store, I'm buying it!" But I never did see it anywhere.