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How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in" 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favors". 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation marks 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim. 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." My mom just sent this to me at work. I've seen some of these before but there seem to be more added to it since last time I've received it. All Rights Reserved. |
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"Climb in my fur." | |
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I especially love #12. Good one, yamomma. | |
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why is #12 funny? | |
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i get all the others, but #12 seems. . . i dunno natural | |
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\/OO/\/\S | |
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#10 is my fave...
thanks for cheering me up...i'll see how many i can do throughout this week...i'll let u know how well i do on sunday...wish me luck!!! you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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I make up my own unique plans to stay insane... I am nutty as a fucking fruit bat. I have been very successful in staying insane, yet healthy. SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred | |
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