I have a question for the org - I just had to cancel a trip to go spend the night with someone, because I realized, unfortunately after I'd made the date, that I couldn't feasibly take the time away from school to meet up with this person. It was kind of last minute that I made this choice, and both he and I knew that it was just a spend-the-night thing. Don't think I didn't regret my decision, cuz he's nice to be with that way. So I get back an (admittedly justified) upset reply, and I wrote back to him to try and re-explain that I didn't feel it necessary to apologize for prioritizing things ahead of sex. I've been feeling that at this point in time in my life, I don't feel it necessary to plan ahead for such affairs.

I'm not excusing myself for my actions, cuz I didn't keep my word, I realize that plainly. But I also know that sometimes, even though I give my word, my word is not something I've been able to freely give. And I'm realizing that maybe I need to be more guarded about what I give my word to.

Advice please, orgers?

i understand.

i've been on both sides. hopefully he'll come down and just realize you had to do what you had to do no harm no foul.

if he doesn't understand than move on.

ehuffnsd said:

agree

I forgot to mention that I did offer to spend time with him the following weekend. Don't know if he heard that, or if he will understand. I hope he will.

eaglebear4839 said:

i think he will. he was just let down that's all.

I think what happened actually speaks more for the change inside me, as far as how I like to do things, as far as sex. Maybe it's cuz I'm pushing 40 or something, but I just don't find certain parts of sex/sexuality as much as I used to. The whole idea of the chase is one such idea. I know others thrive on it, and I can as well, but sometimes I just want to keep it simple. It's not like sexual conquests are going to stop or diminish any time soon, eh?

He's just dissapointed. If he's basically a booty call, I don't think you need to really explain yourself. School is school, and there are other priorities ahead at sex ... well, at least during certain parts of one's life.

You did the right thing...

I'm sure he's just disappointed
and next weekend will be just wonderful!

Perhaps you need to be more guarded BUT this person wasn't acting rationally. If you have a pattern of this happening then he can perceive it as a rejection. If this is an exception, then he needs to get a fucking grip because personal goals trumps sex and someone shouldn't be freaked out or threatened by that.

eaglebear4839 said:

If he doesn't then

NEXT!

I think his "anger" was initially justified because he was looking forward to your visit...probably for the same reasons that you like spending time with him...

...but in time, he'll see the big picture and will see that you had your priorities (and heart) in the right place....

You can get laid anytime. Homework has a due date. Homeboy should understand that.