Further communications from the Dan:

God has abandoned me this week.

Further communications from the Dan:

Last night, I watched West Side story. God has abandoned me this week.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

omg, next time we hang out we can do the jet dance!

have some grits for me!

I really adore you dan..

You're wicked smart, cute and all in all nice guy..

And your penis sounds lovely too..

I am lucky.

No, really I am. God did not endow me with the longest penis unfortunately, but he compensated by making it nice and chubby with a plump, fleshy mushroom head. Mother nature has seen to it that I must now fight to be the weight I want , but she gave me strong legs, and a body free of disease and sickness to obtain my goal.

All around me I see things that need to be fixed, improved, or discarded from my life. But I’m lucky because I can see . I have vision. I can gaze upon anything with my own eyes, in full color, with stark clarity.

I lost my job 2 months ago. Basically, I didn’t survive the 5th rift my company had in 7 years the end of August of this year. I spent 2 of the first weeks in shock. Then I spent nearly a month in Wales with someone I love so profoundly right now that it felt more like a hazy daydream..a wishful fantasy of youth. Then I spent time looking for employment in a wasteland economy, apply for unemployment, and fearing what the future would hold being that my severance pay from my company ends in late February, and I had so built up a lifestyle for myself that unemployment benefits would barely even pay the mortgage.

Well, it appears I may get hired now by some company willing to pay me a bit more than I was making before I got laid off. The catch is that I’ll have to move to Maine. As those of you who know my opinions on this have heard before, the only three states in the union worth living in are California, New York, and Florida (sorry if I offend anybody who doesn’t live in one of those desirable states). But Maine? What do they do all day other than shuck oysters, eat lobster, and bury themselves in layers of thick clothing so as not to die fro hypothermia or loose digits from frostbite.

But then I realize that I’m drowning in self-doubt and strange expectations again. Maine will be beautiful. It will be temporary. And I will get good training, and I will be living in the UK and married within 2 years time or less anyway hopefully. I just nee to clear the cobwebs from my mind.

I write all of this from the Airport terminal in Tampa , on my way to my mom’s house for Thanksgiving …. in Alabama

Alabama… lawd, Alabama.

When I was in the 9th grade, I used to pick routes from English Lit to my public Speaking class where I figured I’d get picked on the least. EVERYBODY picked on me. I was the odd Asian in a rural Alabama school. I had a strange last name to their Walmarty ears. In short, there was nothing I could do right.

Till this day, I still harbor a bit of anger at those people. At my mom and dad for not supporting me during that period. And at everyone in general.

But it was that experience. That… pain that helped me to develop the sense of humor that I have, the sense of compassion that I feel for the underdog, and the courage I have today to stand up for my views and opinions even when I'm greatly outnumbered (cause I’ve always been outnumbered.

I really was dreading taking this flight this morning. The only reason I’m doing it is cause my mother won’t have any company this year, and nothing to do. She wasn’t even going to cook a bird. I was actually going to mooch from one of my friends for Thanksgiving. .

But then I realized… Dan, you selfish fuck. She’s not too far away from the jumping off place in years, and you’ll miss her when she’s gone no matter what your vain, stupid ass says. You. will. miss. her [Yes, you assholes, I talk to myself internally in my mind like this].
So I may have to sit through yet ANOTHER viewing of the Sound of Music , endless shopping sprees (She loves to shop), and being paraded to her friends (they’re not REALLY her friends. Just people who are nice to her in my opinion--my mother is rather odd and she doesn’t realize this..it makes for a lonely life ).

But, I see it this way…. When I was 19, I spent my thanksgiving scrounging for money to find an apartment because I had just gotten kicked out of my house. I dropped 3 classes, all paid for on my salary waiting tables at a Chinese restaurant, because I was too traumatized to study effectively (I had been making A’s beforehand), and the additional work I had to take on to live. THAT was a miserable thanksgiving. There is nothing more painful than being denied by your flesh and blood. NOTHING.

So….I am lucky. I’m flying to a city to eat turkey, watch silly musicals, joke and laugh, and have a giggle at everybody’s cute little roodboi sounding accents , while across the Atlantic, someone I love dearly is thinking about me and vice versa.




So I’ll end this long rambling blog with a few stupid thoughts that immediately jump into my mind:

I’m lucky because:
I live in a place of relative freedom.
I have 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, and 2 beautiful fuzzy balls….and they all function perfectly
My mind works. It can be trained and improved.
I’m not starving
I have the ability no matter how painful or stressful to improve my life
I have friends I love as my own family
I have life partner who loves me for me and despite me
I’m the single most popular, important, and famous orger in the history of orgdom in fororger.


I’m lucky and so are you.


.

I´m not lucky.
I missed a Ladytron concert when they were over here.
[Edited 12/13/08 19:33pm]

Gimmesomehorns said:

I just founf out Simply Red is doing a show here sold out to the crap sections.

Mushanga said:

Well damn. I've just been touched by an angel.

I woke up this morning in Cardiff. It's a cool, crisp, cloudy morning.
I'm happy.
Life is nice.
In the next hour or so we'll unwrap presents.


I'm very lucky. I feel loved. Life is good.

Imago said:

Happy day to you and Alun. Give him a hug from me, please!

Thanks!
xx

shanti0608 said:

Will do it right now Val!!

I'm going to pinch his butt for Phil too
Merry Christmas, beautiful

I woke up this morning in Cardiff. It's a cool, crisp, cloudy morning.
I'm happy.
Life is nice.
In the next hour or so we'll unwrap presents.


I'm very lucky. I feel loved. Life is good.

I loves you Dan.