gyro34 said:

Some people don't deserve to be forgiven. Forget? Never. If I wanna keep my sanity, always be aware of what they did.

Flo6 said:

union119 said:

I that wabbit!

Forgiving and forgetting when someone hurt you,
that you not seek revenge and want to hurt them in return,
but let whatever else evils that they may heap upon you go as and walk away,
Take your leave.

To accept their apology and not allow them to grovel for your forgiveness,
so that they may be in peace,
and if so they are truly repentant for their error,
will in all sincerity even if not forgiven by that one,
will not bring it up for them to have to answer to again,
And not wanting to see them have to suffer repeatedly for their error
But ridding yourself of all ammunition that you know can kill their spirit.

I accept the scourging for my errors and not hope in true resolution with the offended,
Even when I see it riding on a dark horse,
Even when they have something against you.

The true forgiveness and resolution I now seek is from my own self.

I forgive you
I forgive me

wildgoldenhoney said:

This is very beautiful!

Yes.. this is how I feel, too. We have to forgive others in order to forgive ourselves. And we have to give others a chance for redemption in order to give ourselves a chance..

I guess we know we can learn from mistakes.. but it is hard to invest one's trust in somebody we HOPE has learned, you know?

But.. I guess we must risk it.. in order to take risks ourselves, you know?

For me, it is just easier said than done.

The thing is that sometimes.. relationships are irrevocably(?) changed, you know? It is not that... one holds a grudge.. but.. is more that the relationship has changed. And it either moves forward, stronger than before, falls apart, or maybe is somewhere in between, you know? I do not hold any ill-will against those who have hurt me.. I wish them well. It is just the relationship can never be the same, and if it was a "bad" relationship to begin with, maybe this is a good thing? Sometimes relationships either must change or end.. So this is the problem for me. I can forgive, but it is difficult to forget because going back to what once was may not be acceptable, if this makes any sense?
[Edited 11/29/08 16:03pm]

Some folks are poison.

It is a challenge for me to forgive when the person never gets around to admitting they were wrong, asking for forgiveness, or offering an apology - and certainly not if their behavior does not change.

I "forget" so far as I don't seek revenge. But I'm not so dumb that I forget the lesson I learned, which sometimes is "just stay away".

Cinnie said:

I think part of my problem in the past has been that if somebody did apologize, I felt obligated to forgive them and move on. But after somebody has apologized to you about a dozen times, you have to start to question how meaningful it is.

My dumb ass finally figured out that if somebody has to apologize to you for the same thing more than once or twice, you really gotta just cut 'em loose.

tackam said:

I think it's also proportionate to how long you've known someone/how close you are and what they've done. Sometimes you can accept one's faults for what they are. Sometimes, you don't. lol. At this point in time, there are some people in my life who are gonna be there almost no matter what. That's not a free pass to treat me like crap, though.

I know I should, always.
It's an ideal, imo.

union119 said: