Have you ever been in love with someone who doesn’t (or isn’t at the point to) love you back? Not talking about people you haven’t met (e.g. fams who say: “I love Prince but he doesn’t love me back.”), but maybe someone you are in a relationship with and you realize that you are in love with them before they are in love with you.

If you are fairly certain they may not be at the same point (e.g. not in love with you) do you still tell them you love them? Or do you wait until you think they will say it back? What if they don’t say it back—how long do you wait for them to love you back before you give up? Or do you keep loving them anyway?

Or have you ever been on the other side where someone is in love with you but you are not at the point to reciprocate? How did you handle it—did you eventually grow to love the person or did they get tired of waiting for you to love them? If they told you they loved you, did you say it back even though you didn’t feel it?




:hopes this thread doesn't completely bomb:

I've been in situations where I've cared more for the person than she did for me.
But I wouldn't call it unrequited in the sense that she felt nothing . It was just that she kept it casual as always, and I wanted to go deeper.

I've been in plenty of situations where I didn't feel anything at all for the other person. I simply wanted to get my dick wet, but they wanted more.

Both aren't fun. Though the later is easier than the former for me.

I think this probably has happened to a lot of people.

I don't think I've been in a situation where the other person felt absolutely nothing, but certainly they couldn't reciprocate what I needed. I don't know that I was able to stop loving them immediately, but I didn't stay with the person.

It takes time for love to slowly fade away. You can't just turn it off like a light switch.

I don't see the point in waiting around for them to feel it. Seems sort of humiliating doesn't it? I'd rather go crawl in my bed and cry it out and get over it as opposed to waiting around for someone to love me.

Have you ever been in love with someone who doesn’t (or isn’t at the point to) love you back?
Yes. Sort of, anyway.

If you are fairly certain they may not be at the same point (e.g. not in love with you) do you still tell them you love them? Or do you wait until you think they will say it back? What if they don’t say it back—how long do you wait for them to love you back before you give up? Or do you keep loving them anyway?

I usually wait for them to say it, though I can see saying it myself first. I would not stay in a relationship with someone who didn't love me if I love them. Way, way too heartbreaking. Of course you keep loving them, even if the relationship is over. I don't think love ever really goes away. But relationships change, you move on, etc.

Or have you ever been on the other side where someone is in love with you but you are not at the point to reciprocate? How did you handle it—did you eventually grow to love the person or did they get tired of waiting for you to love them? If they told you they loved you, did you say it back even though you didn’t feel it?

I don't think anyone's ever been in love with me that I wasn't in love with too. At least, not that I know about. Sure, there have been people who have had crushes on me that I didn't reciprocate, or were more into me than I was into them, but those were only crushes. That sucks too, though. It's no fun to break someone's heart, even before it's a full blown thing.

Imago said:

hokie said:

Hmm. I'm thinking unrequited is too strong of a word. I didn't mean that the other person felt nothing, just that they weren't in love but might be interested/like the "in love" person enough to get involved.