I understand that our western society is much, much more sexually repressed than it likes to pretend to be. We're a people of mind-boggling double standards.

But can anyone explain this phenomenon to me? Grown adults who have had or are currently engaged in sexual activity of some kind, blushing and tittering and stammering and giggling like a flock of small children who just discovered the difference between boys and girls.

As some of you know, I used to work in a Porneteria. (oops, "store for adventurous adults". I must remember to use those cute euphemisms.) The younger customers who were in my age group managed themselves and their purchases like mature adults, and were able to talk frankly and honestly to the store clerks and to each other about their wants and needs, freaky-deaky and vanilla both.

But the older customers? Amongst the thirty-and-up crowd, it was a rare client who wouldn't stutter and stammer and mumble their way through a request. They'd shuffle and dart around the store like shoplifters afraid of being caught, constantly checking over their shoulders for staff. On making a purchase, damned few could look me in the eye. Because obviously, as a porno shop employee, I'm passing judgement on them over their buttplug purchase.

Even worse were the middle-aged women who'd come into the store in groups to point and giggle at the toys, and talk loudly about what kind of sluts obviously buy "those things". Like hell, lady, you don't own at least a mini-vibe.




I came across this on another forum. The topic was a movie with a male nude scene. This reply came from a poster who, according to her profile, is in her mid-30's:

**sorry if this is bad to say but**

I would have looked and put my lips somewhere.


HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!


The maturity level is stunning, isn't it?



Why the fuck are these people getting busy if they can't even talk about it like adults? If you can't say it, you're not mature enough to be doing it. Period. I'm not saying everyone is like this. I like to hope the majority isn't, even. But the thought that these immature fucktards might be the ones controlling things like sex education quite frankly scares the living shit out of me. If these are the people in charge, it's no wonder kids these days think AIDS has a cure and that a chick can't get pregnant her first time having sex.

meow85 said:

WELCOME TO ORG!

HamsterHuey said:

Joking about sex and making fun of it is one thing. Sex can be pretty damned hilarious. Don't believe me? Let out a big fart next time you're doing it. Or better yet, manoever so you and your partner fall out of bed from the force of your fun.

But apologizing for a mild innuendous comment, or giggling and blushing?

meow85 said:

WELCOME TO THE USA!

I love how alot of political leaders always proclaim to be a nation endorsed by the gods, yet the USA has the biggest porn industry in the whole wide world. Including The Netherlands and Germany.

meow85 said:

Not all the people are the same.

...these kids.

wow....some people are soooo judgemental.
perhaps some folx consider sex and all things involved...PRIVATE and are not used to speaking about it in front of anyone. So when in a situation where talk of it becomes public, it can be embarrassing, so people laugh or giggle..so what?
especially with an older generation...I mean it seem common sense to figure that out.

Guilty!

To me, sex is utterly private. Ya’ll notice, I rarely discuss it on here even.
So if I’m put in a situation where it’s all out there for the world to see, I’m gonna giggle or look away. Or both. I don’t think this has anything to do with my being repressed. I just don’t think my sex life is any of anyone’s business.

I also think it's bad manners to discuss in most social circumstances. Certainly not at the adult bookstore, no. But it's not something to bring up in casual conversation, generally.

Sometimes it's not because they lack maturity.

For example, I love cunnilingus, eating ass, getting rimmed, getting blown and having my sperm swallowed while ejaculating in someone's mouth, ramming my cock down throats and other openings, and the naked human form (in the bed room).


But sometimes, it's flirtatious fun to say "Bits n pieces" or "doing the nasty" or "scroggin (not to be confused with Harry Potter's snogging)"

It's just cute use of the languge. It's more about being playful than being immature.




In Thailand, this is common place. Thai's have a very playful attitude about sex. It's nothing for a woman talented enough to take a dollar bill into her pussy and to give you 4 quarters in change back to call your private parts "a ding dong "

Perhaps the lady on that post was just being playful.


When using cute terms and being 'coy' about the sexual experience, sometimes less is more.




What if we were so clinical and discriptive about other events. I'd rather a woman say the words, "I'm going to go powder my nose" than say "I'm going to go take a big , smelling, shit from my asshole, wipe it with cheap sandpaper-style toilet paper, and come back to you after barely having washed my hands. Hold that thought"



spelling edit
[Edited 11/3/08 8:18am]

CarrieMpls said:

Besides their sex life, I am often amazed at what people feel comfortable enough to share with strangers on a public forum. From death in the family to relation trouble, I am shocked sometimes.

HamsterHuey said:

And I am not saying it is 'not done', just that I'd never even consider doing that myself. I am here to taunt and irritate Abierman and Imago and to call JustErin hussy. I am content with my forum objectives.

For many it's a private thing and also, it has a lot to do with the environment in which they were raised. The older mid 30something generation weren't as openly exposed to sex on everything from commercials to all out sex sense on the Monday night movie.

Statuesqque said:

Or the fact that oral sex isn't considered sex, not really, by presidents and teenagers.

HamsterHuey said:

Eh, I can understand some of it. This really can be a good outlet when you need it. And many of us do have close friends here who can offer words of encouragement, advice, etc. Or for those who don't have any connections, sometimes a truly objective opinion can be helpful.

But I guess I just believe in good manners.

HamsterHuey said:

I will never understand that!

Sex is sex! If there are genitals involved, it's sex!

So Carrie. What do you like better; giving head or having a a guy go down on ya?

CarrieMpls said:

Exactly, I've heard a few younger people say that and had to clear that delusion up for them.

HamsterHuey said:

Well, I think that people that are of my mom and dad's generation (mom is 59 and dad is 63) were just raised not to talk about it. My mom said that no one gave her the "talk" and that no one told her about childbirth. You just didn't talk about those things. She said an aunt of hers had to have a hysterectomy for some reason and that no one would even say that word. They said she had "female problems".

I don't think, at least in that age group, that it is a maturity issue. I think it's more of a generational issue.

I also think that there are some people my age (who were raised by the generation I refer to above) that just aren't used to discussing sex openly and frankly the way you speak of.

I'm not a total prude but there have been some threads here that I just won't comment on because I'm not about to talk about my sex life in detail. I will joke around on sex threads, but you won't catch me telling the org about what position Ariel and I used last. It's just private to me.

I guess maybe the people that would come into your store are curious yet uncomfortable at the same time. Try not to judge. People are raised by all different types of parents and not everyone was raised to talk about sex openly.

Back in the day, the "porneteria" was a windowless building, off the beaten track, that was dirty and shady-looking....lots of "bums" and "degenerates" hanging out in front of the place...it just wasn't very inviting...so lots of folks STILL see it that way...even though the places now are much more inviting (not to mention better lit!! )

For instance, I attended a school in Cocoa Beach this summer, and one of the porn shops in the community was running ads on the local telly....I was floored...

hokie said:

Not only that, but the attitude about it all from someone who works there is gonna be so much more relaxed & blase (sp?) than some older married chick looking to spice her shit up. It's a coin toss - some ARE repressed, but at least they're in the store trying to broaden their horizons (hopefully)...

I have a friend who's so much more free than me when it comes to sexual partners, etc. But when we pop into Good Vibes?? She's all giggles & embarrassment. It's so weird to me, some people are just like that though

HamsterHuey said:

hokie said:

you're actually trying to make sense of this ??
[Edited 11/3/08 12:55pm]

" 30 and up crowd".

JustErin said:

I think the problem is that you worked retail too long.

I felt the same way about people who bought John Grisham when I worked at a bookstore. But you know what, there really was nothing wrong with them, it was my own bitterness with my job that made me judge people within seconds.

Sure people are idiots, but working retail makes us jaded, quick!
[Edited 11/3/08 14:41pm]

Shorty said:

I get sex being private. But what I'm talking about is people going out of their way to go to a sex shop, or comment on a nude scene in a movie -things like that. If it's so private, why bring it up publicly, then act like 5 year olds about it?

Case in point: those above-mentioned groups of middle-aged women who'd coem to the store. This happened more times than I can count, and each time with a seperate group of women.

CarrieMpls said:

But if it's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing dirty, nothing bad -why gigle and blush? Why the apparent inability to just speak matter-of-factly about sex?

Imago said:

There's a difference between clinical language, and speaking about sex without having fits.

Having been a member on that other forum for a while, like here, I've noticed patterns emerge in the way people post. Consistently this grown woman writes like a young, immature kid when it comes to sex.

hokie said:

I understand generational differences. My grandmother once claimed not to know anything about "that act", and when asked how she ended up with 5 kids, her answer was -without meaning to be funny, though damned if it wasn't -"I don't know. The lights were off".

Do you have any idea how hard it is to suppress laughter at a comment like that? Of course I managed it because it's rude to laugh at Nana, but it was a bit of a struggle.

But it does seem pretty absurd to me that people are running around having sex (well, not literally. That'd be one hell of a circus trick) but can't bring themselves to talk about what they're doing without turning bright red. It's kind of sad, in a way.