It's almost been nearly two months since the breakup and i'm still heartbroken. How can it hurt so bad when you know that it wasn't going to work out deep down while you were with that person? Why do I still love him despite all the messed up things he said to me when we last talked on the phone? Why the hell does he feel the need to text me "hi, how are you doing?" when clearly last time we talked on the phone he said some awful shit to me and then hung up in my face all because I said I felt we should part ways? He didn't want to talk then, so why text me? Why the fuck does he care about how i'm doing when obviously he didn't even try half as hard as I did to make the relationship work? And lastly, why the FUCK can't I forget about him already? I want to so badly forget, but despite everything, I still miss the good times and the good things about him. I try to force myself to keep remembering the bad times so that I can get over him quicker.

Sorry for the rant, I just had to vent.
Now i'm trying to get myself excited about Halloween tomorrow They are having a costume contest on my job, and even though I maybe the only one with balls enough to participate (i'm going to be a witch ), inside I just feel like I should be dressed in a costume for how I feel...broken hearted.

whatever you do, don't sleep with him, not even once just for old times sake

ZombieKitten said:

But it gets easier, trust me.

Enjoy Halloween. Don't let anyone kill your joy...

chocolate1 said:

yes, I'd expect to be feeling a lot better around the 6 months mark.

I know it seems like forever. Is there a way to cut contact with him entirely missfee, instead of letting him renew the wound and getting your hopes up over and over again with nice texts?

ZombieKitten said:

Thanks for the hug. Naw that ship has passed. Thats how we got back together the last time, But no, I know it will never work between me and him, I think the thing thats hurting me the most is that I wanted it to work so bad, I actually convinced myself that I needed to change the way I saw our relationship in order to deal with him, but nope, it wasn't me that was the problem, we just weren't right for each other. Now I have to start all over again with some other guy, that I have yet to meet. I really need to get myself together first (emotionally) before I even thinking about going out with another guy.
[Edited 10/30/08 18:32pm]

ZombieKitten said:

Yeah, I could ignore his texts and stop responding to them. Sounds easy, but when it comes down to it, its so hard. But its something that I must do and I know it.

chocolate1 said:

thanks, i'm trying not to kill my own joy,

missfee said:

I know that is the common sense way to go, but I've always gone from one guy to the next my mum's advice, nothing to take the mind off an old guy than a new one
It didn't work when the master broke up with me, I refused to accept that, and probably just as well I didn't hook up with someone new during that year

ZombieKitten said:

Yes my aunt and cousin told me the same thing, but it never happens for me in that way.

missfee said:

I couldn't do it either. I would go on dates & sit there and think "WTF are you talking about?!" or "Okay, what's YOUR issue?"
I wasn't ready...
U'll know. But I agree with ZK; it'll be a few months still.

Ever consider changing your phone#? (then U'd have no reason 2 worry about texts).

missfee said:

ok men? please excuse my words.. (I am NOT talking about the innocent guys, who do have hearts.. so please excuse my words)



but.. girlfriend ..the reason why men do certain stuff the way they do .. is cause they are heartless and cruel with no soul .... testoterone messes them up and they don't give a damn... women, we love with our hearts and it's not as easy to let go.. but time does heal.. you WILL get over him.. trust me, I know.. I lost weight over one guy and I promised myself 'never again'.. time does heal

chocolate1 said:

I'll admit most of my very few relationships were nearing their useby dates, the time came when most guys looked a better option than the old one

chocolate1 said:

Well a friend of mine mentioned that, but I felt like that by going that route, its a bit extreme, then I don't feel like calling everybody and telling them my new number all over again. I just changed cell phone numbers last summer, and that was tiring. I get what you are saying, but that wouldn't help since he knows my home number too...y'know?

Flowers2 said:

I gained 40lbs! I ate myself into health problems.
Thank goodness I was able 2 lose 35 of it...

Flowers2 said:

thanks for the encouragement. it just seems like at this point, i'll never meet any guy who really will care about me the way I deserve....i'm not saying that it won't happen....i'm just saying that right now with the way I feel, it just feels that way. Time is really a bitch.

chocolate1 said:

Wow!!! Well I haven't gained any weight since the breakup, in fact right before I broke up with him I had started dieting and watching what I ate. But I think the stress has gotten to me because I haven't lost a thing since, I just keep maintaining for the moment...but I really want to lose 35 pounds, honestly. Losing weight while you are emotionally on edge is hard enough...for example, I was all motivated last week and hit the gym three times, but this week...I haven't even gone at all, just been going home when I leave work only to find myself crying and not eating anything.

missfee said:

And there you have it.

Better than ending up in a messy divorce down the road.

Yes it hurts, it's a grieving process. Healing takes time and has no time limit.

chocolate1 said:

girlfriend... I had moved on and found another man..and my ex (who I lost weight over) HAD THE NERVE to call me and say.. 'I miss you and our friendship and I don't want to loose touch' ..... he gets a new girlfriend then starts calling me again wanting to cheat on her ...Men are sickening... of course I cut him off..

ZombieKitten said:

AMEN!! No matter what manner of manna slips from his lips, don't do it to yourself....

....and for that lil bit of MAN-fo, I'm getting kicked out of the frat ...Hope you feel better soon!!

reneGade20 said:

unless it involves razor blades


did I just say that out loud

ZombieKitten said:

yes...yes you did!!

missfee said:

It takes a long time Sometimes it takes meeting someone new, even if you know that the new person isn't quite right for you. Maybe you're ready for that, maybe you're not. But it takes a lot to lose those old feelings after you've felt them for so long in one direction.

errant said:

I didn't want to say that cause sometimes us women need a break emotionally, but then too.. the saying goes.. 'nothing gets you over the last one, like the next one' .. sometimes dating others does work... but take it very gradually..

Awwww It Will Get Better

It takes about/at least 6 months to be ok again after the really bad heartbreaks.

But then one day the sun comes out. Promise.

missfee said:

i know how you feel and it sucks and, words don't help much but, hope you feel better soon.

distracting yourself is most important. don't waste your time with trying to invest in any new relationships, just stick with friends, & maybe find a guy (or two) that are far hotter than your ex is and have fun for a little while.

When I broke up with my guy I was REALLY hurt since I gave him a second chance when I knew he didn't deserve one. Things still didn't work out.

Two things that helped me get over.

1. I realized it didn't work out because he didn't want it to. Every relationship is different and people split for different reasons, but if two people want to stay together they WORK at doing just that. And a man will be where he wants to be, if that is not with you then you have to leave his ass ALONE. Do not keep a relationship with someone (accepting phone calls, favors, and other back and forth stuff), it'll only make missing him worsen.

2. Remember all the little bad things that happened that led you to break up with him. All the little things that hurt you. focus on that. then play some "happy to be single- f*ck him" music and stay positive about being single to meet the man you really want in your life.

It'll get better Missfee! You need to keep yourself busy...force yourself to do things everyday so you don't have time to 'think'. Someone else will come along that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!