A little girl noticed a few strands of gray hair on her mother and asked what they were.

"Those are white strands of hair, dear" her mother answered.
"Each time you do something really bad, one of those grows on my head."

The little girl looked dumbfounded and asked, "Does this happen to all mommy's when their kids act up?"

"YES!!!" Her mother replied. "Which is why you need to be good!"




The little girl looked at her mom for one hot minute and fell deep into thought.


















"YOU WERE HORRIBLE TO GRANDMOM!!!! JUST HOOOOORRRRRIIIIBBBBBLLLLEEE!!!!"



.
[Edited 9/11/08 14:34pm]

don't worry imago...joy comes in the morning

This thread sux.....and so do you.....

pardonme4livin said:

i have to be honest:

i'm not fond of this thread, either. not at all.

and as long as i have everyone's attention, i repeat:

Anxiety said:

Lock this BITCH up..... ATTICA ATTICA ATTICA

This woman comes storming through the door yelling "Doctor, I want you to be frank with me and tell me what the HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???!!?!?!!?!"


He looked her up and down with a strange stare and said, "First of all, you need to lose at LEAST 30 pounds. Secondly, you have the worst skin and nails I've seen in ages. And thirdly, you should wear half as much makeup and that rouge color TOTALLY doesn't suit you."



"but hey, " he continued, "What do I know? I'm just a chartered surveyor. The Doctor's office is down the hall."

Oh no.....

Ken! :brock:
Chris




Ken, and his new bride, Gimmesomehornz were standing at the alter when the bride noticed her soon-to-be-husband was carrying a set of golf clubs with him.

"HONEY!!!" she demanded angrily, "What are those things doing here at the alter?!!!??!"

"Well, " Ken replied, "this isn't going to take all afternoon is it?"

"Daddy, daddy!!!!" a little boy yelled to his father, "I got a part in the school play!!!"



His father replied, "Really son? What part did you get!! ?"

"I'm playing the husband, " said the boy.


The father demanded, "Go back to school and insist on a speaking part."



.
[Edited 9/11/08 15:19pm]

i got one! i got one!



whaddyou get when you cross and bi-curious panda bear with orange that think's he's barak obama....

Imago said:

Anxiety said:

Ace said:

Damn, Artie looks like shit.

FunkMistress said:

Wow!!!! I thought that was Chris Farley!

Anxiety said:

Anxiety said:

FunkMistress said:

He's enjoyin' his sobriety!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

He's thirty sit-ups away from being a young Travolta!

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the roof of their car which read, "TWO PROSTITUTES... $150.00."

A policeman noticed the car, and quickly pulled them over. He approached the ladies and told them they'd have to remove the sign. Otherwise, they'd be arrested and taken to jail. Just then, another car passed by with a sign which read, "JESUS SAVES."

The two ladies asked the policeman why he let the other car drive by without pulling them over. "Well, that's a little different since it pertains to religion." The two ladies were furious, but nonetheless they removed the sign and drove away.

The next day, the same policeman noticed the same two ladies riding around town with a sign on the roof of their car. He figured he had an easy bust, so he pulled them over once again. As he approached the car, though, he noticed a new sign which now read, "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER... $150.00."

Imago said:

y'know that's not so funny really, why didn't they just call peter on his phone? this is not the day and age in which to be riding around, wasting gas looking for the dude. just my 2c

assholes!

Imago said:

Has your mother even got any hair left!

rolling said: