FunkMistress said:

My point is that the child get embarrassed or taught shame not to do that crap again... its not about hitting. Meow's really stuck on that

paintedlady said:

She also thinks we Americans are all heathens for celebrating Thanksgiving on the day we do.

Long live the Turkey, mashed potatoes, and stories of savagery I say!

hokie said:

Fuck what they "experts" say, most of them spank their kids too. Meet my kids, that's all I have to say. The proof is in them. Spanking works when done right.

Babies are a breeze compared to teens and pre-teens.

Just never back down from what you know is good for them, and that includes keeping them safe and requiring that they show you respect AT ALL TIMES. Don't waver because you think they're going to hate you. I worked with teens for years, and believe me when I tell you this: without fail the kids who showed the least respect and love for their parents were the ones whose parents were permissive and were afraid to tell them "no." And the ones who loved their parents the most fiercely were the ones with parents who didn't take their kids' bullshit nor hesitate to whip their asses.

I know how hard it is, and I sympathize.

paintedlady said:

I was kidding about the savagery stuff. Don't want to be attacked.

purplesweat said:

I'm laughing because time out doesn't always work.

It doesn't work for every kid.

My daughter is only concerned about her friends and boys. If I go in her room, she'll say to her friend on the phone, "hold on my mom's in here." She won't let me fix her hair anymore and hates all the clothes I pick out for her. She doesn't even say "good night, I love you," anymore to me.

Leave his music alone. You may not dig it, but it's what he likes. Talk to him about it. And I don't mean in a, "How could you listen to that awful crap?" sort of way. But have real conversation about it. Ask him why he likes that kind of music, what his favourite bands are, if he wants to be in a band, that sort of thing. If it's something he likes, get him talking about it.

hokie said:

Why doesn't it work for you?

hokie said:

Girl, and I was all ready to attack you.

I'm actually in complete agreement with meow about that. The origins and connotations of the American Thanksgiving holiday are racist and shameful. I'm of Native descent myself, and for most of my life I didn't celebrate the holiday but participated in Day Of Mourning events in Plymouth, MA (site of Plymouth Rock).



But we have this in common, hokie: We both sometimes want to beat on our children like a drum at a powwow.

purplesweat said:

I can count on one hand the number of times I have spanked both my kids. I rarely have to do it. It usually works. I can't tell you why it didn't work on those instances. Parenting unfortunately doesn't come with a guidebook. I wish it did! I just know that there were times when I did spank and it did work. My kids don't fear that I will beat them senselessly. When I say spank for me it means that I smacked their bottom hard enough to sting, but not hard enough to bruise or leave any sort of a permanent mark. I smacked once and that was it. I didn't sit there and keep smacking them.

All I can tell you is this. I am a mom of two. I know I have my ways of parenting. It works for me. What I do may not work for others. Others do what works for them. I don't judge others because I don't live their life and I don't have to raise their kids. I also work in the psychiatric field and I can tell you that there are many many kids that come to our facility with massive problems that have never been spanked a day in their life. They come from the "Leave it to Beaver" families. A person cannot say that IF you spank THEN THIS will be the consequence. Parenting just isn't that cut and dry.

hokie said:

Leave Ariel for me.

Stymie said:

Oh and my ass can't compete with those chicks in that other thread, but my tits can.


[Edited 10/23/08 19:59pm]

hokie said:

Oh yes they can.

Stymie said:

Ariel will tell you. I got lots of titty.

I told Ocean that they get in the way when I golf. I can't swing worth a shit because of those suckers!

^^^^ would you two ladies like to get together and make some more kids that y'all could beat???

roodboi said:

Hells yeah.

purplesweat said:

I can count on one hand the number of times I have spanked both my kids. I rarely have to do it. It usually works. I can't tell you why it didn't work on those instances. Parenting unfortunately doesn't come with a guidebook. I wish it did! I just know that there were times when I did spank and it did work. My kids don't fear that I will beat them senselessly. When I say spank for me it means that I smacked their bottom hard enough to sting, but not hard enough to bruise or leave any sort of a permanent mark. I smacked once and that was it. I didn't sit there and keep smacking them.

All I can tell you is this. I am a mom of two. I know I have my ways of parenting. It works for me. What I do may not work for others. Others do what works for them. I don't judge others because I don't live their life and I don't have to raise their kids. I also work in the psychiatric field and I can tell you that there are many many kids that come to our facility with massive problems that have never been spanked a day in their life. They come from the "Leave it to Beaver" families. A person cannot say that IF you spank THEN THIS will be the consequence. Parenting just isn't that cut and dry.

hokie said:

Oh, I wasn't criticising or anything, I was just wondering. My cousins bolt the minute they know they're gonna get a time out.

hokie said:

There is nothing I can say right now that wouldn't make ariel want to kick my ass.

Reading this thread has been a learning experience. People without children trying to tell me what to do cracks me tha fuck up always. Always.

I always had great kids. My oldest will be 21 next week and was the easiest kid on earth to raise. the middle kid has a disability but I never had to spank him for his behaviors. The youngest waited until the day she turned 12 to turn into the spawn of Satan. Nice voice didn't work. Stern voice didn't work. Yelling and screaming didn't work. She got out of hand one day and I told her I was going to beat her ass. My daughter is my height by the way. She got to the point that when I said I would beat her ass, she would say she'd leave. Scared the fuck outta me and I didn't hit her. So, she got out of pocket one day and for the first time in my life I "spanked" my child. More like an ass whoopin'. She went out the front door and I locked that bitch behind her. Five minutes later she was back. I haven't had to get in her ass since.

I see how a lot of people raise their children. Anyone who says to me that their children always behave and would never do anything wrong is delusional. I immediately tune those parents out. My children test their boundries every minute of everyday. That is their job and they are right on developmental task. My job is not to be their friend. Some of our kids needed to be spanked, some would break down if you shot them a dirty look. One- nothing worked. We just tried to hold on for dear life and prayed they'd come out ok on the other side.
That's the one I am celebrating his 21rst birthday next week!

Why the fuck is she required to justify all this shit to your satisfaction?

No.

It fuckin kills me when people who have never raised a child get all fucking judgemental.

Just because you've been a kid, or been around kids as an adult, doesn't mean you have the faintest clue about what it is like to give birth to a human being, and spend every moment of the rest of your life worrying and working your ass off to help them grow into happy, humble, aware, intelligent, respectful and productive people without killing them or letting them get maimed in the process. They can't even conceptualize the constant struggle that we experience between the desire to control our children and their environments to keep them safe, and our dreams of letting them fly free to learn their own lessons and blossom into the amazing strangers they will someday become.

Add to that the feelings that come with the knowledge that you are constantly being judged by everyone around you on not only your interactions with your kids, but the behavior, manners, demeanor and even appearance of the kids themselves. It's a tremendous burden of stress.

Then there is the pain and fear that comes with seeing your kids grow and change into people you don't recognize. Sometimes every day brings a new personality quirk, behavior or opinion that is so totally different from the sweet child you once knew that it terrifies you. These children are not just a part of your heart, they are a part of your body. The need to see them be not just happy, but good, in every sense of the word, is overwhelming.

These are just a few of the many factors that drive parents' decisions, actions, thoughts and feelings. Factors that non-parents will never understand. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not even saying I don't welcome feedback from someone who is outside the swirl of emotions. Sometimes it is a very good thing to hear the perspective of an outsider. But the moment you start judging me as if you know better, I will swiftly tell you to shut the fuck up.

FunkMistress said:

My point is that the child get embarrassed or taught shame not to do that crap again... its not about hitting. Meow's really stuck on that