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Thread started 09/21/08 6:25pm

union119

is there anyone else here who is an only child?

hello biggrin whats it like for you?
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Reply #1 posted 09/21/08 7:49pm

2the9s

It's like being in a big loving family...only when you reach out to hug someone you grab empty space.

sad
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Reply #2 posted 09/21/08 8:02pm

LadyLuvSexxy

On one hand, it's been sweet because I still get the "special treatment" to a certain degree. But it's hella lonely on another hand because I've never really had that special connection with a sibling like my dad and aunt have. Or like my mom's sisters have. It kinda makes me a little sad. I've always wanted to either be the older sister or younger one.

*sigh*

I'm 23 now, though. Unless my dad hooks up with some pretty young thing, I can only fantasize about it. sad
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Reply #3 posted 09/21/08 10:17pm

kimrachell

i'm an only child, it pretty much sucked! because i lived far away from all of my relatives, and was really isolated! plus we moved like every 2 seconds! neutral
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Reply #4 posted 09/21/08 10:21pm

Ocean

Nope, I have 4 older brothers
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Reply #5 posted 09/22/08 8:45am

MIGUELGOMEZ

I'm an only child. I don't miss brothers and sister 'cause I never had 'em. I do consider some of my cousins brothers and sisters. We're very close.

Yes, even though we were poor, I was spoiled.
MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits"
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Reply #6 posted 09/22/08 8:47am

CarrieLee

I have been for 10 years. I'm sad because I don't want kids but I always wanted to be an Auntie sad
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Reply #7 posted 09/22/08 9:51am

funkyslsistah

avatar

I'm an only child. Never thought that I was spoiled, but I knew the selfish tendencies were there. I knew last born children who were way more spoiled. There was a time when I wanted a sibling, but halfway though middle school when I knew that wasn't going to happen, I was fine with it. Friendships were always a big deal to me, and that helped me alot with socialization, and they are family. Having a pet is more of a deep wish than a sibling. lol
"Funkyslsistah… you ain't funky at all, you just a little ol' prude"!
"It's just my imagination, once again running away with me."
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Reply #8 posted 09/22/08 11:11am

morningsong

Try not only being the only child but a 3rd generation only child and the only grand child on both sides to boot. Makes for one tiny family. These big ass family reunions are a mystery to me, and highly uncomfortable attending as a guest. I guess I was spoiled on some level, but definitely not materialistically, every family has got it's issues and mine had plenty of it's own. Watching the relationship with my dad and his sister is really the only clue I have to what I missed out on, but one deals with it and it's not like I could do anything about it.
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Reply #9 posted 09/22/08 11:30am

BobGeorge67

Only child here... Being an only child & a military brat helped me learn how to make friends quickly.
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Reply #10 posted 09/22/08 2:48pm

MarySharon

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Only child as well. My mother widowed too soon to give me brothers or sisters. I grew up with animals (I used to call our german shepherd "my brother" when I was 3 or 4 lol)

Maybe that's the reason why I need loneliness, when I started to live with my man I found out I missed my moments alone and it drove me insane.

I don't think being a lonely child made me selfish, some people still don't understand this need to isolate myself. Don't we all need to focuse on our own self once in a while for our mental balance?
Is there any place of refuge one can flee from this insanity
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Reply #11 posted 09/22/08 3:40pm

Anxiety

i'm an only child, and for the most part i always really enjoyed being an only child. i think it made me very independent and self-reliant, and most of the time my imagination was my playmate, so i think being an only child made me a very imaginative person as well. plus, i never had to share a damn thing with anyone when i was a kid. lol

as an adult, i think the biggest downsides of being an only child are twofold:

one, i never got an appreciation for competition. i grew up with people pretty much accepting me on my own terms, and i never had to fight anyone for attention or acknowledgement. i did learn to strive for a "personal best" when i was growing up, but this is a competitive world. if you don't get in the race, you don't win the race. not believing in racing doesn't make the race go away. so that's been a learning curve that i think is less of a challenge for those with siblings.

two, i realized how helpful siblings could be when i lost my mom. not just because i had to handle her illness and death by myself, but also because there's nobody with whom to remember my childhood and upbringing. that's kind of a sad thought, that those memories are mine alone to keep - the houses i grew up in, the christmasses, the birthdays, all of those things. it's like they're secrets now, simply for lack of anyone else knowing about them.
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Reply #12 posted 09/22/08 6:06pm

Ace

Anxiety said:

not believing in racing doesn't make the race go away

And you call yourself a Taoist. disbelief
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Reply #13 posted 09/22/08 6:17pm

Anxiety

Ace said:

Anxiety said:

not believing in racing doesn't make the race go away

And you call yourself a Taoist. disbelief


there's a difference between being a taoist and an idiost. sometimes i can't tell that difference, but i know there is one. smile
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Reply #14 posted 09/22/08 6:27pm

Ace

Anxiety said:

Ace said:


And you call yourself a Taoist. disbelief


there's a difference between being a taoist and an idiost. sometimes i can't tell that difference, but i know there is one. smile

I think Andy said it best when he said, "Everything is just how you decide to think about it."

One day, Andy's true genius will be acknowledged.
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Reply #15 posted 09/22/08 6:40pm

union119

it was lonely for me, but i made good friends with my tape deck biggrin
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Reply #16 posted 09/22/08 6:46pm

PurpleRighteou
s1

avatar

It's been a pretty lonely existence for me, especially since I grew up being somewhat bullied by someone who was supposed to be my friend. Also, my parents divorce had a more profound effect on me than I thought. I now have a very hard time getting and maintaining friendships/relationships. My socialization skills are sorely lacking. I'm pretty quiet and keep to myself. People either don't notice me or they assume I'm not interested in getting to know them and give up on getting to know me. I used to not care and I've only recently begun to realize what I am missing and to feel how much that hurts.

Anxiety said:

i'm an only child, and for the most part i always really enjoyed being an only child. i think it made me very independent and self-reliant, and most of the time my imagination was my playmate, so i think being an only child made me a very imaginative person as well. plus, i never had to share a damn thing with anyone when i was a kid. lol

as an adult, i think the biggest downsides of being an only child are twofold:

one, i never got an appreciation for competition. i grew up with people pretty much accepting me on my own terms, and i never had to fight anyone for attention or acknowledgement. i did learn to strive for a "personal best" when i was growing up, but this is a competitive world. if you don't get in the race, you don't win the race. not believing in racing doesn't make the race go away. so that's been a learning curve that i think is less of a challenge for those with siblings.


I have that problem too. And it's been causing me some stress b/c I'm in engineering which is a very competitive field, and I don't know how to get in the game as you said.

[Edited 9/22/08 18:49pm]
I graduated bitches!!! 12-19-09 woot! dancing jig
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Reply #17 posted 09/22/08 6:53pm

Anxiety

Ace said:

Anxiety said:



there's a difference between being a taoist and an idiost. sometimes i can't tell that difference, but i know there is one. smile

I think Andy said it best when he said, "Everything is just how you decide to think about it."

One day, Andy's true genius will be acknowledged.


andy was competitive.
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Reply #18 posted 09/22/08 6:57pm

blackguitarist
z

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I'm an only child and it was cool for me. I never longed for having any siblings. I had a very normal childhood. I've always been very creative and as a child, that kept me from noticing that I didn't have any siblings. As far back as I can remember, I was always very capable of entertaining myself. I also had a lot of friends so when I was outside playing, I had them. And when I got tired of playing with them, I entertained myself by being creative. Plus I was always close to my mother so we did things together. Still do. The only time I noticed that I was the only child was when I was around other family members. Like over at my cousins house, where it would be 4 or 5 of my cousins where they were all bros and sisters. That's the only time I ever noticed I was the only child. And even then, it was a non issue.
[Edited 9/22/08 18:58pm]
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Reply #19 posted 09/22/08 6:57pm

Ace

Anxiety said:

Ace said:


I think Andy said it best when he said, "Everything is just how you decide to think about it."

One day, Andy's true genius will be acknowledged.


andy was competitive.

Well, Andy liked money, but is that necessarily the same thing?
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Reply #20 posted 09/22/08 7:05pm

Anxiety

Ace said:

Anxiety said:



andy was competitive.

Well, Andy liked money, but is that necessarily the same thing?


i'm sure you've read his diaries. can you read that and say he didn't have a competitive bone in his body? his poker face was legendary but he wasn't as oblivious as he made himself out to be. i mean, that's no secret, is it?
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Reply #21 posted 09/22/08 7:13pm

Ace

Anxiety said:

Ace said:


Well, Andy liked money, but is that necessarily the same thing?


i'm sure you've read his diaries. can you read that and say he didn't have a competitive bone in his body? his poker face was legendary but he wasn't as oblivious as he made himself out to be. i mean, that's no secret, is it?

Actually, believe it or not, I've never read 'em. boxed

But, if he was competitive, I retract my previous statement and have adjusted my assessment to "Flawed Genius". razz
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Reply #22 posted 09/22/08 7:19pm

Anxiety

Ace said:

Anxiety said:



i'm sure you've read his diaries. can you read that and say he didn't have a competitive bone in his body? his poker face was legendary but he wasn't as oblivious as he made himself out to be. i mean, that's no secret, is it?

Actually, believe it or not, I've never read 'em. boxed

But, if he was competitive, I retract my previous statement and have adjusted my assessment to "Flawed Genius". razz


i don't think there's anything flawed about a business person being competitive. it's not like he was vincent van gogh angsting in his cottage for weeks on end, after all. lol
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Reply #23 posted 09/22/08 7:27pm

Ace

Anxiety said:

Ace said:


Actually, believe it or not, I've never read 'em. boxed

But, if he was competitive, I retract my previous statement and have adjusted my assessment to "Flawed Genius". razz


i don't think there's anything flawed about a business person being competitive. it's not like he was vincent van gogh angsting in his cottage for weeks on end, after all. lol

I have zero problem with Andy wanting to have made as much money as possible, but I don't think that that necessarily indicates competitiveness. His desire to accumulate mazuma could very well have come about due to control issues.
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Reply #24 posted 10/20/08 4:12pm

raveun2thejoyf
antastic

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eye have 5 half-sisters, but no1 else has the same 2 parents as me. biggrin
eye wish U were here baby, on me--
Stuck like glue! heart
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Reply #25 posted 10/20/08 4:13pm

ZombieKitten

2the9s said:

It's like being in a big loving family...only when you reach out to hug someone you grab empty space.

sad


fishslap

and no little pesky brothers to wreck your legos
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Reply #26 posted 10/20/08 6:15pm

purplesweat

Me.

It's boring and there's too much pressure. You never get away with anything and never have any privacy because all the focus is on you.
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Reply #27 posted 10/20/08 7:19pm

Anxiety

purplesweat said:

Me.

It's boring and there's too much pressure. You never get away with anything and never have any privacy because all the focus is on you.


the never getting away with anything part sucked. hell, i even tried to blame things on the dog, but my mom wasn't having it. lol

i had TONS of privacy, though. i had my own bedroom, and during summer vacations, i'd have the house to myself every day, five days a week. i was swimming in privacy.
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Reply #28 posted 10/20/08 7:22pm

ZombieKitten

Anxiety said:

purplesweat said:

Me.

It's boring and there's too much pressure. You never get away with anything and never have any privacy because all the focus is on you.


the never getting away with anything part sucked. hell, i even tried to blame things on the dog, but my mom wasn't having it. lol

i had TONS of privacy, though. i had my own bedroom, and during summer vacations, i'd have the house to myself every day, five days a week. i was swimming in privacy.


my only child neighbour once told him mum the "plastic man" did it falloff

wacky lol
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Reply #29 posted 10/20/08 9:50pm

purplesweat

Anxiety said:

purplesweat said:

Me.

It's boring and there's too much pressure. You never get away with anything and never have any privacy because all the focus is on you.


the never getting away with anything part sucked. hell, i even tried to blame things on the dog, but my mom wasn't having it. lol

i had TONS of privacy, though. i had my own bedroom, and during summer vacations, i'd have the house to myself every day, five days a week. i was swimming in privacy.


Lucky you.
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