SCNDLS said:

Ok, let me clarify things then:

When I said I was ONLY speaking from my experiences, this also included forums where men and women have gotten together to discuss these exact issues, as well as my own experiences in relationships.

Now, I've said earlier that one of the reasons MOST MEN DON'T CHEAT is out of sheer respect for their woman. Now, please, for those that want to ONLY read what they wanna read, this does not mean that that is the ONLY reason MOST MEN don't cheat, that's just ONE REASON why most men don't cheat.

As for ME - If I chose not to cheat it would be a combo of these reasons:

1 - Out of respect for my chick
2 - Because keeping up with the lies and deceit would be too much
3 - (If I loved her) Out of love

But make NO MISTAKE about it. I'd WANT to fuck someone else. It's natural. Anyone - in a relationship - saying they don't see other people and get either aroused or wonder what it would be like fucking them is lying. Sorry, but that's my take on it, like it or not.

And yeah, finding someone that is cool with you fucking other women would be great. But again, how many women like that do men run into in their everyday lives? Not that many. THAT'S a major reason why cheating happens.

Plus, how many times have we ALL heard stories about women STARTING OUT as being cool with being a booty call but then their feelings get involved and they want EXCLUSIVITY? We've ALL heard THAT story. So again, it's hard to find someone like that and to where it remains JUST THAT.

MuthaFunka said:

Clearer, but you still didn't answer my main question which is:

are you saying that you, personally, would enter into a committed relationship with the expectation that you would cheat and since monogamy is an unnatural state for men AND women, you'd be okay with, or at least accept, if your woman cheated as well???

SCNDLS said:

No, I wouldn't enter a "committed relationship" that way but a "sexual relationship" would be ok to, of course, think that way. She, nor I, in a "sexual relationship" wouldn't be "cheating" because it's not a committed relationship.

veronikka said:

No, you're NOT right. In a previous post I already said that everyone deserves the truth, YOU just missed it!

MuthaFunka said:

As I stated earlier, IMO, purely physical relationships are completely different and often more honest than "committed" relationships. That's why I wanted to make a clear distinction between the two cuz they're definitely apples and oranges. I think the ladies are riled up because they're thinking of men in "committed" relationships taking this view that it's easier to lie and cheat than to be upfront as opposed to those in "casual" ones.

MuthaFunka said:

No, you must not have read my last line

SCNDLS said:

And they have every right to be upset when it's a committed relationship and he's cheating. My point was to show that most women can't handle the truth AFTER he's cheated, therefore, the man will pretty much always choose to lie and deceive to avoid a possible breakup, fight, hurting her with the truth, or (your favorite, SCNDLS) serious bodily harm .

MuthaFunka said:

Yeah, I'ma fuck a nucca up BUT I'll tell him before it happens that I'm prone to fucking him up so it's not like it's a surprise and shit.

Renegade... I said this in the other thread... if folks want to live in fantasy denial and not accept the truth.. then that's fine for them, that's they're choice.. but don't put that off on people LIKE ME ... 'Oh, I can't tell you, cause I KNOW you can't handle the truth' all that says to me is.. you want to pacify your guilt and your ways by not telling, that's all it reads... I'm a realist and I'm not hearing that.. no, life is not pretty, the truth is ugly...and truth comes out anyway.. why can't a person just be an adult about it?

I don't give a fuck what men or women are programed or not programed to do. I just don't care.

I just do what I want to do and just deal with whatever consequences come my way for doing what I do with whomever I am doing it with.

I have no interest in figuring out why anyone really does anything when it comes to this stuff. I don't care enough to want to know. I just take what's directly being presented to me and deal with that.

MuthaFunka said:

Yeah, I'ma fuck a nucca up BUT I'll tell him before it happens that I'm prone to fucking him up so it's not like it's a surprise and shit.

people cheat cuz they've got nothing better to do.

seriously.

get a hobby.

union119 said:

What you think cheating IS?

MuthaFunka said:

muthafuckas hate me already so i am not gonna touch this.

Which is why I specifically stated in my post that if you PERSONALLY want to hear it, then good for you...I'm not putting ANYTHING off on you. ...this isn't about being in denial or living in a fantasy...and its rather dismissive of you to say so... there are people who, for whatever reason, would rather not know, regardless of what they might think is going on behind their back...it also depends on how the extracurriculars are discovered...because one thing I've noticed (that hasn't been stated) is that particular information isn't volunteered without some kind of discovery...meaning that if your S.O. don't know, they shouldn't look for you to tell them...

...and I missed your last statement...about why people just can't be adult about it? Again, from my experiences, when you (as the philanderer) sit your S.O. down and begin being the honest adult, usually your S.O. reverts back to adolescence....or worse, kicks in with the histronics that completely derails the conversation and negates your attempt at honesty....

Honey said:

Yeah, but men's egos bruise A LOT easier than women's egos. Men hold MAJOR grudges against their chick if he found out she cheated while most women are already conditioned that their man MAY POSSIBLY CHEAT. Most men don't ever have that cross their minds because our egos won't allow it.

Honey said:

OMG!!! this is siggy material right heah!

SCNDLS said:

I believe you, too!

MuthaFunka said:

You betta believe it.

But I let a man know up front what he's dealing with so he can proceed at his own risk. And I expect/demand the same courtesy regardless of whether I'm in a commited or casual relationship.

SCNDLS said:

Damn! What YOU plan on doin'?

SCNDLS said:

Damn! What YOU plan on doin'?

MuthaFunka said:

What? You forget she's Latino?!? That comes standard....

MuthaFunka said:

I'm not "planning" anything cuz that would show premeditation. Just sayin. . .

MuthaFunka said:

What? You forget she's Latino?!? That comes standard....

paintedlady said:

Oh is that how it is?

MuthaFunka said:

You know we be some "passionate" heffas.

Here is my conclusion to all this:

the thread should be entitled:

"Why does ANYONE cheat, and why do MEN feel they are entitled to do it?"