MuthaFunka said:

he's got a point.

i honestly dont think any woman has a right to complain about her options... ultimately (from what i've seen) most women completly ignore/dismiss the best candidates for honest/loving men....something about them "not counting" and being "great friends"


"ya'll get offered dick every 5 seconds" - chris rock

veronikka said:

that's exactly what he's saying.... they don't tell the truth so they can pacify their actions... so they lie about it to cover it up.... it's all a selfish bs game.. for men (women too).. that's it ... and I need to leave the thread... seriously.. this is why relationship problems exist and they are a mess and never work .... cause people want to justify wrong....

Flowers2 said:

Wow. Flowers, you've got this whole thing wrong. You're a bit riled-up right about now. Now, I never said women - OR ANYBODY for that matter - didn't deserve the truth. All I said is there's a reason why lying happens, like it or not. and that isn't justifying it, that's just bringing the "real" to it and, just as I said earlier, MOST WOMEN CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH, which is exactly what a few of you women in here are proving just as I present THE TRUTH about why men cheat .

MuthaFunka said:

we need to hang out.

Stymie said:

I hate men that lie just to tell a women what she wants to hear knowing full well that he has another on the side.

SirPsycho said:

Yep. You pretty much attract who you are. That goes for men AND women. Most women don't ask the RIGHT questions when dating a man, and that's the key. Don't ask him some bullshit like "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" - Trust me, he has that answer down pat. Ask him some shit that will throw him off and make him REALLY think about his answer before he says anything.

paintedlady said:

you'd love me then. i'd introduce you to every woman i had a conversation with

SirPsycho said:

you're right.. I'll agree with that...

Stymie said:

Hey, you KNOW I'm down!

SirPsycho said:

TY I think

SirPsycho said:

Now I could handle that sort of thing... as a younger woman my latino-ism would have prevented any conversation entertaining that.

paintedlady said:

no, its a compliment. i still kinda want her, even tho our time has passed, and i couldn't keep up with her then.




pimps used to be squares too yaknow...

paintedlady said:

latin women.

Flowers2 said:

I seriously don't understand the problem.
A while ago I met a guy and we hit it of, but I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship so I told him almost right from the start.

Why is that so hard?

The reason a few of us here are upset/not agreeing is not because we can't handle the truth but because you say that you have to lie to us because we can't handle the truth.
Good that you're honest here, but be the same outside the internet. If you don't believe in the classical concept of relationships then tell the girl right from the start. Don't make her believe that you are something you're not.

It's not that complicated

MuthaFunka said:

-Some men will lie, is it right? NO!

-Some women can't handle the truth, TRUE!
--Do we deserve the truth either way, YES!

I for one feel I deserve the truth always!!! and if a man is going to cheat on me or tells me he is cheating on me, I sure as hell am not sticking around to see that happen!!!

CarrieMpls said:[quote]It's not because we can't handle the truth, I'd rather hear the truth. I'd much much MUCH rather a man tell me he can't be faithful so I won't waste time and move on to someone who's willing to make that commitment to me. And therein lies the problem. You can't live up to your desired woman's expectations so you lie to get her anyway. It's not that they can't handle you wanting to sleep with everyone around, it's that they won't bother commiting to you if that's what you're gonna do. ANd you can't handle not getting what you want. So lie and cheat.
There are woman who are happy in non-monogamous relationships, that's all any man who isn't in to monogamy needs to find. It's freaking simple. [quote]

Excellent, Carrie!

MuthaFunka said:

I missed this here.... it's before and after... yeah, would be nice if a 'label' came with you guys in the beginning saying: 'Side Effects of being with this one: etc etc etc..'.. I also was referring to being in a long term relationship if down the road (2-3 years or less) ..if he wants to start with his foolishness, why he couldn't he be upfront about it and tell.. he won't cause of his selfishness...

MuthaFunka said:

Okay I'm confused like a muthafucka because most of your comments seem like you're speaking in generalities, yet above you say you're speaking from your own experiences, then in another post you said "I never said I didn't want to commit, I NEVER brought THAT shit up, so I have NO IDEA where YOU'RE getting THAT shit from. "

So for clarification, are you saying that you, personally, would enter into a committed relationship with the expectation that you would cheat and since monogamy is an unnatural state for men AND women, you'd be okay with, or at least accept, if your woman cheated as well???

Wouldn't all the lying and cheating be unnecessary if you just found someone with the same philosophy??? All this lying and cheating just seems like an open invitation for drama so why even bother?
[Edited 10/22/08 16:30pm]

Honey said:

I missed that post too.. see? she said it with better finesse... nuf'said

MuthaFunka said:

Women don't appreciate it at all either, Mutha...

Grind a Q-tip in your ear, pull it out, and look at that filth! That's your dick.

SCNDLS said:

SCNDLS .. I saw that.. and I wasn't even gonna bother quoting it.. cause it makes no sense.... you don't even care to hurt the person u're with and you're talking about 'commit' ?

VenusBlingBling said:

Exactly!

That's why this whole can't handle the truth argument is non-sensical to me. A rational person does not purposely enter into a "committed" relationship with someone who obviously has a completely different agenda. If you're getting to know someone as a prospect why not just say, "Hey, I likes to fuck around. If you're down, cool. If not, you ain't the one." And keep that shit moving. Mutha, it just seems like your approach/philosophy is going to result in all kinds of undue 100% avoidable drama.

Honey said:

OMG I hadn't seen that post, Mutha, Mutha

feelings are feelings, coming from a man or a woman, hurts just the same!!!

Honey said:

OMG!!! this is siggy material right heah!

veronikka said:

Some of you women are ONLY READING WHAT YOU WANNA READ. And for that, I can't help you. Those are your own hang ups and that pretty much leads me to see why some of you tend to have issues with men.

Now, I NEVER said women don't deserve to hear the truth. Never. Not once. Ever. In fact, I said EVERYONE DESERVES THE TRUTH. These are things YOU guys are making up out of frustration and emotion from this topic.

MuthaFunka said:

In other words, Im right!!!

Actually, I was only stating what you had already said
[Edited 10/22/08 17:06pm]

SCNDLS said:

Ok, let me clarify things then:

When I said I was ONLY speaking from my experiences, this also included forums where men and women have gotten together to discuss these exact issues, as well as my own experiences in relationships.

Now, I've said earlier that one of the reasons MOST MEN DON'T CHEAT is out of sheer respect for their woman. Now, please, for those that want to ONLY read what they wanna read, this does not mean that that is the ONLY reason MOST MEN don't cheat, that's just ONE REASON why most men don't cheat.

As for ME - If I chose not to cheat it would be a combo of these reasons:

1 - Out of respect for my chick
2 - Because keeping up with the lies and deceit would be too much
3 - (If I loved her) Out of love

But make NO MISTAKE about it. I'd WANT to fuck someone else. It's natural. Anyone - in a relationship - saying they don't see other people and get either aroused or wonder what it would be like fucking them is lying. Sorry, but that's my take on it, like it or not.

And yeah, finding someone that is cool with you fucking other women would be great. But again, how many women like that do men run into in their everyday lives? Not that many. THAT'S a major reason why cheating happens.

Plus, how many times have we ALL heard stories about women STARTING OUT as being cool with being a booty call but then their feelings get involved and they want EXCLUSIVITY? We've ALL heard THAT story. So again, it's hard to find someone like that and to where it remains JUST THAT.

Honey said:

Yeah, but men's egos bruise A LOT easier than women's egos. Men hold MAJOR grudges against their chick if he found out she cheated while most women are already conditioned that their man MAY POSSIBLY CHEAT. Most men don't ever have that cross their minds because our egos won't allow it.

veronikka said:

No, you're NOT right. In a previous post I already said that everyone deserves the truth, YOU just missed it!