I've never had a female best friend or even a female whom i would consider more than an aquaintance. In fact, when i have to deal with women in a workplace/school/social setting they will begin to gossip about and dislike me almost on sight. I go out of my way to be nice to them but it never really works. Is it me or is it just that females of my age group have catty tendencies?Whatever happened to sisterhood y'all? However, in a unrelated sidenote, lesbians adore me...odd isn't it?

Fuck them AprilMichelle! Girls are way too friggin catty. I have maybe 3 girlfriends I hang around with all the time and trust, the rest are just aquaintances. Maybe they're jealous of you.

Guys are fun. They could care less about half the shit that girls do!

I'm not in your age group, but I agree with you.

In fact...99% of my friends are male or gay. I've always wondered why myself, and I think you have hit on it.

I hate the gossip...women seem to thrive on gossip.

On the occasion in college that a female sits at my table...blah, blah, blah.



The men? We talk about anything and everything ~ comfortably

If you ooze sexuality, this pisses off those who don't. Just a hunch...

Maybe it would be different if you were a thug.

That's alright. I've found many men feel the same way about me. Probably cuz i'm so hot, they question their sexuality when they're in my presence. Some men can't handle my aura of sexual vanilla. True story.

you're too hot?

IceNine said:

AprilMichelle you are lovely! I often wonder about humanity in general Sad!

LaVisHh said:

The two aren't mutually exclusive

langebleu said:

Ahhh...but they are. They might both be male, but being gay separates by homosexuality.

most all my friends are male too. don't know why it happens that way?

jnoel said:

'Cuz i'm hot blooded check it and see...got a fever of a hundred and three...c'mon baby don't you do more than dance?!'

People project on to other people what they sometimes think of themselves. Deep down inside. Confident people don't attack other people verbally. And Insecure people don't waste time attacking another insecure person because they would just agree with them. They unite together and think that they are putting an arrogant woman in her place. Look at her who does she think she is? It does not stop. I wish it did. There's this woman she's 65 years old.I am in college now remember this. she will come in class and just rip a new buthole for anyone including the instructor. One day I just went up to her and said do you need a hug. The whole class laughed. Now I am her favorite target. Which is okay because everyone knows I could careless.That what you called cattiness. is just insecurity. Women are more aggressive then people like to admit. Most women only do it around men others well they just do it because no one says stop. It's rare to find other women that aren't petty and full of themselves. Then you are labeled a dyke when you just avoid them all together. Or a whore because all your friends are guys. Of course you have to be having sex with them they assume.(chuckle) No I am usually laughing with the guys when they ask why are woman so trifiling.I ain't with them.

just the females?

Well, you have girlfriends here at the org. You made one with me after the Dora bit hee hee

“One day DORA will as fat as as she is butt ugly...but she still won't get a good looking man...so she just better hope that the weight of that bad 80's hairstyle will crush her empty head.”

Hm. I wonder if this is an example to what contributes to your apparent lack of “sisterhood” & good vibrations between you & those who have the same chromosomes as you..


In a larger, more general sense..
In my opinion, there is a sort of.. “unspoken competition” between women. Often, this competition seems to be related to some man, but often enough, it seems to be between two women & some.. “thing”, whatever that thing might be..

A wise woman whose opinion I mostly respect once remarked:

Have you noticed that between in-laws, it’s usually the mother-in-law & the wife who are “in competition” in terms of the mother-in-law’s son/the wife’s husband..
You virtually never hear a man say “damn, I really don’t like my father-in-law”..
That “competition” between men generally doesn’t exist. Most of the time, men can “compete” in a given situation- they can be cold-blooded, ruthless or whatever, but when the “competition” is over, the men generally shake hands & they don’t take it personally..

Or,
As someone else put it:

When a woman wants to hurt another woman, she’ll generally say something bad about her;
When a man wants to hurt another man, he’ll just hit him hard.


All that said, I too, as a male, I definitely have more female friends than male friends..
I relate better to women than to men, I’d even say that I prefer to spend more time with women than with men..
THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I “HATE” MEN or that I’m in some sort of “personal competition” with them..
It’s simply that I, as a heterosexual male, prefer to be around women.. I suppose because I see them as being more “complex” than men.. spending time with them gives me a very unique perspective on the world.. & on myself. 99% of the time I spend time with a woman (nothing at all sex-related) I always learn something about her or myself or the world. This doesn’t always happen when I hang out with my male friends, but then again, when I usually hang out with them, it’s not to have some deep emotional experience or epiphany.. it’s often just to hang out, have fun, act stupid or whatever. In short, I appreciate the time I spend with either gender, because in either case I get specific things.
I think I get more being around women, though. That’s just me.


It seems that in a larger, global sense, women definitely have a great sense of “sisterhood”..
But when you separate them into smaller groups or put them 1-on-1..

Uh oh!


But it’s just 1 more delicious irony (?) that makes the fairer sex so maddeningly..
Irresistable..!

AprilMichelle said:

If you've got self-confidence to go along with your gorgeousness, lots of women are going to be intimidated by that, I think.

I'm just pulling this out of my ass, as I do not personally have the gorgeousness problem, and I'm not intimidated by anyfuckingbody. But it seems like the appropriate thing to say.

I love having guyfriends. It's so much more relaxed than having girlfriends. But there tends to be an emotional intensity with girlfriends that it's hard to have with guys you aren't sleeping with. So I encourage you on your quest.



Doves,
Mel!ssa

You know this is so interesting because on my job I come across so many women who say this all the time. I personally don't understand it. I have only a small group of people that I call friends, both male and female.

One of the first things we do is ask women if they have a support system of women to depend on. Almost every woman says, NO, I don't trust women or women are nothing but gossips, etc.

I'm not going to be one to say that men make better friends than women which is the tone I'm hearing on this thread. Men are different so the dynamics of the friendship are different. Not better or worse, just different.

I believe sisterhood is important for women to experience. There are somethings a man is never going to understand and be able to share with you as a female. I have a dear friend who is 15 years older than me. She is like my sister and my mother. I value that friendship greatly.

Even if you have one close female friend, that's good enough. You don't need a clan of anyone around you.(At least I don't!! :yuck:)

Give off the energy you want to receive and the people you need in your life will respond.

thinking to myself..~i'm feelin' rather Oprahish~

Rhondab said:

Rhondab said:

Good Morning All,

Great point about having only one good friend and that's being enough.

I think it is important that we remember that we may have a lot of associates, but few friends. Shoot, you're fortunate if you have two TRUE friends in your lifetime.

A lot of times we say "my friends this"...my friends that". But be down and out and need someone to talk to or lean on and you'll see how many TRUE friends you really have.

So I don't toss that word "friend" out there carelessly. A true friend is gonna be TRULY down with you and a true way to gauge your friendship are moments when times are rough and you're facing some adversity.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I'll give my two cents. I have the same problem as AprilMichelle especially in the workplace. I do not attempt to make friends with my coworkers. I'm cordial and friendly, but that's it. I've concluded that women who gossip and congregate in cliques are jealous and insecure. I don't allow my daughters to gossip, as I feel it is a waste of time and energy.

I usually gravitate towards older women who are at least 10 years my senior. I feel more comfortable around older women than those in my age group, and I learn more from them too. I especially enjoy the company of elders, but I've been lucky to still have friends that I know I can count on in times of need, some of us have been friends for over 25 years. I think I'll call them all today.

I don't know if you have AprilMichelle, but try befriending older women, you may find them more receptive. Everybody in this world needs a friend they can count on, and you will find your best friend one day.


.



.

April, you are trippin. Because I love you. and you know it !!!

mrchristian said:

so hot??? how hot??

tackam said:

The Gorgeousness Problem

I love that! Uh, I don't have that problem either. (I used to...) Anyway, I have always had more guyfriends than girlfriends too. I just could never relate to them as much, or if I did they were always way older, sometimes my mother's age!!!

I never was into gossip or doing my nails every week, so most girls just didn't interest me. I have one girlfriend and two guyfriends that I have known for 13 years. One of the guys is gay, and the other is a fellow musician. (and an old bed-buddy)

Just be yourself AprilMichelle. People who dislike you are not worth worrying about.

I've noticed the same as well. I think most but not all women are haters. They are always trying to out do the other female. Why I have NO idea. It cracks me up most of the time because these women start hanging on their man like I want them. I always have to respond "Woman please I don't want your man, you have nothing to worry about. If anything he better start worrying."

Much Love,
LoLinex

That comes from feeling inadequate. Women have this need to compare themselves to each other sometimes. I am not saying all of them but the ones that are being catty to you aren't there yet so they will diss you to make themselves look good when all that does is make all women look bad because guys see that and go hum. That's messed up. You wouldn't want them as friends anyway. I will say that the few females friends that I can call friends we can go years without seeing each other and pick up like we just saw each other yesterday. Some women are taught at a young age to do whatever it takes to get a man's attention. That they need him to be valued or worth something.In grade school it starts when teachers tell girls well boys are just better at this or that(Math). And they believe it. My little sister got angry when a teacher told her that and got better in math. It's not what you go through but how you go through it.Oh She is an Engineer now not very many women do that she has gotten mad job offers since graduating college.
They called her names in grade school I joke with her now they can called you paid. Wonder where those girls are that used to try and beat her over getting "A's" in math.

lolinex said:

And help you if he looks at then she wants to get in your face when she should be on him. This is another thing I don't understand When a man does cheat why go after the woman he cheated with? Didn't he know he was with you? No they go after the woman.If it weren't for her he wouldn't have cheated no honey. It's him. If there is a sisterhood where are they? Once a man is in the mix all bets are off they will stab you over a man in the back making me wonder are you my friend because you like my taste in men? Sloppy seconds what? I do have one best friend she and I have known each other since forever. Once a guy would go for her he was off limits to me. And visa versa. Even when she broke up with them. I would not even think about it.I valued her friendship.

Too funny--here are the women who think the others are too bitchy to be friends with, saying mean things about women. Can you say 'hypocrite'?

AprilMichelle--maybe they don't like you because they just don't like YOU. Not because of being female, but because maybe you're stupid or fake or an arse-kisser. I dunno, just something to think about.