Humans, I know many of you are hurting. You have money invested in this stock market thingie and its going to hell in a handbasket. (Quite frankly I have never understood this expression...if you have to go to Hell would a handbasket be such a bad method of transport?) Anyhoo, I have come to like most of you (except for the ones who want to fry me up) and would like to help.

I was watching CNN (Cow News Network) earlier and they were saying something about how the stock market desperately needs a bull run. If the bulls return, they said, they can beat the bears and everyone will be rich again. I mean I don't really understand your human finances that well but if there is one thing that I understand is bulls. So I'm going to help out with this bull run.

I know A LOT of bulls. I was not always the paragon of virtue that you see before you. I was a bit of slut in my younger days. So as I said I know A LOT of bulls! All I have to do is make a few phone calls and they will head right to Wall Street and fix this mess up. No I don't know how many bears there are on Wall Street or what type of bears they are but I think these bulls could kick their hineys. These are some pretty tough bulls. They never called me and I had to throw many of them out on their horns but their willing to do this for me. I mean, they don't have anything else to do and they generally just love to kick asses so it's no skin off their hide.

I'm getting on the phone now, Org, so your money will soon multiply. My bull friends will save the economy! Of course, after that they will mostly run lose in the streets until someone tasers them but isn't that a small price to pay for keeping the world from a financial catastrophe?

Humans, I know many of you are hurting. You have money invested in this stock market thingie and its going to hell in a handbasket. (Quite frankly I have never understood this expression...if you have to go to Hell would a handbasket be such a bad method of transport?) Anyhoo, I have come to like most of you (except for the ones who want to fry me up) and would like to help.

I was watching CNN (Cow News Network) earlier and they were saying something about how the stock market desperately needs a bull run. If the bulls return, they said, they can beat the bears and everyone will be rich again. I mean I don't really understand your human finances that well but if there is one thing that I understand is bulls. So I'm going to help out with this bull run.

I know A LOT of bulls. I was not always the paragon of virtue that you see before you. I was a bit of slut in my younger days. So as I said I know A LOT of bulls! All I have to do is make a few phone calls and they will head right to Wall Street and fix this mess up. No I don't know how many bears there are on Wall Street or what type of bears they are but I think these bulls could kick their hineys. These are some pretty tough bulls. They never called me and I had to throw many of them out on their horns but their willing to do this for me. I mean, they don't have anything else to do and they generally just love to kick asses so it's no skin off their hide.

I'm getting on the phone now, Org, so your money will soon multiply. My bull friends will save the economy! Of course, after that they will mostly run loose in the streets until someone tasers them but isn't that a small price to pay for keeping the world from a financial catastrophe?
[Edited 10/10/08 11:27am]

i think the bulls are all over in barcelona right now, chasing humans down the street. glad to hear they will come to our aid!!!!!

XxAxX said:

Oh Barcelona...the sunsets...the alcohol...the completely forgettable trysts. The real reason that bulls are so angry is because they generally only last about 12 seconds in the sack. But you didn't hear that from me.

Humans, I know many of you are hurting. You have money invested in this stock market thingie and its going to hell in a handbasket. (Quite frankly I have never understood this expression...if you have to go to Hell would a handbasket be such a bad method of transport?) Anyhoo, I have come to like most of you (except for the ones who want to fry me up) and would like to help.

I was watching CNN (Cow News Network) earlier and they were saying something about how the stock market desperately needs a bull run. If the bulls return, they said, they can beat the bears and everyone will be rich again. I mean I don't really understand your human finances that well but if there is one thing that I understand is bulls. So I'm going to help out with this bull run.

I know A LOT of bulls. I was not always the paragon of virtue that you see before you. I was a bit of slut in my younger days. So as I said I know A LOT of bulls! All I have to do is make a few phone calls and they will head right to Wall Street and fix this mess up. No I don't know how many bears there are on Wall Street or what type of bears they are but I think these bulls could kick their hineys. These are some pretty tough bulls. They never called me and I had to throw many of them out on their horns but their willing to do this for me. I mean, they don't have anything else to do and they generally just love to kick asses so it's no skin off their hide.

I'm getting on the phone now, Org, so your money will soon multiply. My bull friends will save the economy! Of course, after that they will mostly run loose in the streets until someone tasers them but isn't that a small price to pay for keeping the world from a financial catastrophe?
[Edited 10/10/08 11:27am]

XxAxX said:

Oh Barcelona...the sunsets...the alcohol...the completely forgettable trysts. The real reason that bulls are so angry is because they generally only last about 12 seconds in the sack. But you didn't hear that from me.

how are you dialing?

By the way the market is up. There have been a few tramplings and Tasered bulls are filling the Manhattan streets but the Dow is up 70. So it works out cosmically.

By the way the market is up. There have been a few tramplings and Tasered bulls are filling the Manhattan streets but the Dow is up 70. So it works out cosmically.

if horses had god's would they not look like cows..


i mean horses

Any other global problems that y'all need me to solve. I am in a generous mood.

Please note, the problem must be one that can be solved by dispatching a herd of horny, pissed off bulls.
[Edited 10/13/08 8:32am]

well done you little slut!


btw i'm vegetarian
you're welcome

Any other global problems that y'all need me to solve. I am in a generous mood.

Please note, the problem must be one that can be solved by dispatching a herd of horny, pissed off bulls.
[Edited 10/13/08 8:32am]