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PrintableZombieKitten said: Gimmesomehorns said: But stating its because shes tired of beeing treated like crap is a bad excuse, dosent sound like a real lesbian too me. At least shes bi, but tired of men. My friend decided to come out and live her life the way that was best for her. She is 65 now, she could never have come out in the 60s  she didn't DECIDE to become a lesbian, she was one all along.
I don't doubt NurseV's friend has always been BI. I guess she has just made a choice now  and her unfortunate relationships with men have been the catalyst.I do know that her terrible relationships with men is what finally made her just give them up all together-I think that if she had dated a better caliber of men maybe the outcome would be different. | |
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nurseV said: Gimmesomehorns said: Sounds more like bi-curious too me, you cant turn of your hetero-feelings can you? I don't know if she was bi-curious, but she did tell me that while she was in Atlanta she dated men and also went to gay and lesbian bars-so maybe she was just feeling her way  That makes more sense. In the initial post, it sounded like all of a sudden she was going to exclusively date women only because men sucked. | |
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Anxiety said: nurseV said: Okay-real talk here
 Some time ago my best friend told me that she was a lesbian  She told me that she had been through so much with men and just got tired of being abused by them-that she chose to be with a woman. We'll that wasn't what bothered me-what really got me was that I was the last person she told  She told me that she didn't want me to stop talking to her like some of her so called friends had done She said that she didn't know how to tell me-she told her parents and her daughter and it took them forever to accept her new life choice. I've known her since we were 12-she's 35 and I'm 36 she's like my little sister. I can honestly say that I don't understand her reason for being Lesbian, but I am trying  (Please don't be mad at me for this and I don't mean to offend). It really still hurts me that she thought that I would not love her anymore-we talk everyday, but I've never told her my feelings. What do you think? I'm I wrong for feeling this way? Should I be more supportive? Please help me understand a little better well, if it's clear to her that you wouldn't understand why someone would have a "reason" for being gay, you're going to have to understand that your position on the matter doesn't exactly make it easy for a person to come out of the closet to you. it's hard enough coming out to people who are completely understanding. i think you need to just appreciate that the process is not easy for her and quit personalizing the fact that you weren't the first person she told. if it's hard for you to accept and if she knows you well at all, she probably knew you would be a tough nut to crack. so own your problems with acceptance and realize that the issues you have with homosexuality probably knocked you down a few pegs on the "people to tell" list. but at least she told you. that's the important thing. if you want to be supportive, you're going to have to work on your issues with understanding and acceptance. that, or else you're just going to have to tell her that you love her just the same, but you're probably not the best person for her to be open and candid with. I didn't think I had issues with homosexuality But damn Anx, your so convincing you got me thniking I do  Seriously, the lesbian part is not an issue for me. I love her like she was my little sister-I look at her that way. I have been analyzing myself though-when she talks to me about this woman it makes me feel uneasy | |
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nurseV said: Anxiety said: well, if it's clear to her that you wouldn't understand why someone would have a "reason" for being gay, you're going to have to understand that your position on the matter doesn't exactly make it easy for a person to come out of the closet to you. it's hard enough coming out to people who are completely understanding. i think you need to just appreciate that the process is not easy for her and quit personalizing the fact that you weren't the first person she told. if it's hard for you to accept and if she knows you well at all, she probably knew you would be a tough nut to crack. so own your problems with acceptance and realize that the issues you have with homosexuality probably knocked you down a few pegs on the "people to tell" list. but at least she told you. that's the important thing. if you want to be supportive, you're going to have to work on your issues with understanding and acceptance. that, or else you're just going to have to tell her that you love her just the same, but you're probably not the best person for her to be open and candid with. I didn't think I had issues with homosexuality But damn Anx, your so convincing you got me thniking I do Seriously, the lesbian part is not an issue for me. I love her like she was my little sister-I look at her that way. I have been analyzing myself though-when she talks to me about this woman it makes me feel uneasy You don't picture yourself as the other woman do you? 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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nurseV said: ZombieKitten said: My friend decided to come out and live her life the way that was best for her. She is 65 now, she could never have come out in the 60s she didn't DECIDE to become a lesbian, she was one all along.
I don't doubt NurseV's friend has always been BI. I guess she has just made a choice now and her unfortunate relationships with men have been the catalyst.I do know that her terrible relationships with men is what finally made her just give them up all together-I think that if she had dated a better caliber of men maybe the outcome would be different. ya never know, a nice guy might still come along later and do the old Chasing Amy on her | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: nurseV said: I didn't think I had issues with homosexuality But damn Anx, your so convincing you got me thniking I do Seriously, the lesbian part is not an issue for me. I love her like she was my little sister-I look at her that way. I have been analyzing myself though-when she talks to me about this woman it makes me feel uneasy You don't picture yourself as the other woman do you? see!!! Just like I said in my initial post - this was a jealousy issue all along  | |
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Anxiety said: also:
it's not a choice, unless you consider honesty a choice. which, i guess, you can fool yourself into believing, but a point always comes when honesty is no longer a choice and you have to face up to who you are. something to think about.  I'm being honest with myself-my feelings were hurt and that's all. If being with a woman makes her happy-I'm cool with that. | |
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sextonseven said: nurseV said: I don't know if she was bi-curious, but she did tell me that while she was in Atlanta she dated men and also went to gay and lesbian bars-so maybe she was just feeling her way That makes more sense. In the initial post, it sounded like all of a sudden she was going to exclusively date women only because men sucked. When she first moved there-she was dating men, then all of a sudden she started going out to bars with other women. She would tell me about the bars-I'd be like O Shit-Really She met this woman and all hell just broke loose | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: nurseV said: I didn't think I had issues with homosexuality But damn Anx, your so convincing you got me thniking I do Seriously, the lesbian part is not an issue for me. I love her like she was my little sister-I look at her that way. I have been analyzing myself though-when she talks to me about this woman it makes me feel uneasy You don't picture yourself as the other woman do you? I ain't sayin'  | |
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ZombieKitten said: nurseV said: I do know that her terrible relationships with men is what finally made her just give them up all together-I think that if she had dated a better caliber of men maybe the outcome would be different. ya never know, a nice guy might still come along later and do the old Chasing Amy on her Or do the old Jerseykrs on her! | |
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ZombieKitten said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: You don't picture yourself as the other woman do you? see!!! Just like I said in my initial post - this was a jealousy issue all along OMG!!  | |
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nurseV said: ZombieKitten said: see!!! Just like I said in my initial post - this was a jealousy issue all along OMG!! admit it, you are just a little disappointed, you might be straight as straight can be, but your ego is a it bruised that she isn't wildly in love with you. I know I would be! I expect all my friends to be in love with me, or ELSE 
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all the dayum paths seem to cross, how does it really make a diference???
I can say i like a guy and then some girl is looking at me like i'm her man. and then he looks at another man cause he says i look gay.  i said i liked the GUY! ! ! ! who figures??? ...THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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ZombieKitten said: nurseV said: OMG!! admit it, you are just a little disappointed, you might be straight as straight can be, but your ego is a it bruised that she isn't wildly in love with you. I know I would be! I expect all my friends to be in love with me, or ELSE
She loved me first as a sister | |
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nurseV said: ZombieKitten said: admit it, you are just a little disappointed, you might be straight as straight can be, but your ego is a it bruised that she isn't wildly in love with you. I know I would be! I expect all my friends to be in love with me, or ELSE
She loved me first as a sister oh sure  | |
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myfavorite said: all the dayum paths seem to cross, how does it really make a diference???
I can say i like a guy and then some girl is looking at me like i'm her man. and then he looks at another man cause he says i look gay. i said i liked the GUY! ! ! ! who figures??? ...That chick must have been ugly right? | |
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ZombieKitten said: nurseV said: She loved me first as a sister oh sure Zombie-what time is it in Australia? Go to sleep & quit trying to get me to spill it | |
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nurseV said: ZombieKitten said: oh sure Zombie-what time is it in Australia? Go to sleep & quit trying to get me to spill it it's not even lunchtime! I'm still in my pyjamas | |
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nurseV said: ZombieKitten said: oh sure Zombie-what time is it in Australia? Go to sleep & quit trying to get me to spill it It's the middle of the day there! | |
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sextonseven said: nurseV said: Zombie-what time is it in Australia? Go to sleep & quit trying to get me to spill it It's the middle of the day there! a nap would be nice though  | |
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sextonseven said: nurseV said: Zombie-what time is it in Australia? Go to sleep & quit trying to get me to spill it It's the middle of the day there! My bad | |
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ZombieKitten said: sextonseven said: It's the middle of the day there! a nap would be nice though  | |
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nurseV said: I didn't think I had issues with homosexuality But damn Anx, your so convincing you got me thniking I do Seriously, the lesbian part is not an issue for me. I love her like she was my little sister-I look at her that way. I have been analyzing myself though-when she talks to me about this woman it makes me feel uneasy i don't think you want to be judgmental and i think you do want what's best for your friend. i think that is apparent. but if you were my friend and i'd just come out to you and i was trying to tell you about someone i was in love with, and you told me it made you uneasy, well...i'd have to ask you why you feel uneasy about it. how is it different than if i were talking about a love interest of the opposite sex? | |
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Anxiety said: nurseV said: I didn't think I had issues with homosexuality But damn Anx, your so convincing you got me thniking I do Seriously, the lesbian part is not an issue for me. I love her like she was my little sister-I look at her that way. I have been analyzing myself though-when she talks to me about this woman it makes me feel uneasy i don't think you want to be judgmental and i think you do want what's best for your friend. i think that is apparent. but if you were my friend and i'd just come out to you and i was trying to tell you about someone i was in love with, and you told me it made you uneasy, well...i'd have to ask you why you feel uneasy about it. how is it different than if i were talking about a love interest of the opposite sex? It makes me uneasy because she tells me things about the lady that I would prefer not to hear-it's cool when were talking about everyday stuff, but when she starts saying indepth things that make me feel weird I ask her to give me the PG version and she understands-were cool like that | |
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nurseV said: Anxiety said: i don't think you want to be judgmental and i think you do want what's best for your friend. i think that is apparent. but if you were my friend and i'd just come out to you and i was trying to tell you about someone i was in love with, and you told me it made you uneasy, well...i'd have to ask you why you feel uneasy about it. how is it different than if i were talking about a love interest of the opposite sex? It makes me uneasy because she tells me things about the lady that I would prefer not to hear-it's cool when were talking about everyday stuff, but when she starts saying indepth things that make me feel weird I ask her to give me the PG version and she understands-were cool like that Well you swing them fallopian tubes too dontcha?! She's just relating to you! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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nurseV said: reneGade20 said: Maybe she picked up on that vibe....and maybe she didn't want to have to see that inadvertant look of confusion or "disappointment" and say "oh no, not you too" to her best friend....yeah? I say that because my sis said that to me when she finally told me that she was a lesbian..... Vibe? I've never said anything to her to make her feel like I had something against Lesbians-because I don't-HELL I've thought about it myself I was just disappointed that she thought so little of me-but now I can see Supa's point When my sister and I talked after she came out, I felt the same way..."what vibe?"....she and I were always tight, she's a couple years older than me, so she was my protector, yada yada yada...her point was that she didn't WANT to see that "glint" or that "twinge"...she just wanted to feel, in herself, that I was cool with it and nothing would change between us...and I'm glad to say that change was never an option....thats my girl no matter what.... He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
(George Eliot) the video for the above... 
http://www.youtube.com/wa...re=related | |
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