Simply put, why?

I don't mean when a person is celibate and it wasn't their idea. Circumstance can certainly enforce celibacy on just about anyone.

But purposeful, deliberate celibacy. What for? Sex is one of the healthiest, most natural acts a being can engage in.

I've heard of athletes and performers who practice celibacy before an important game or show, in the belief that they're saving up their energy, but there's no science behind that. There's never been any evidence that not abstaining drains energy away from other faculties.

Religious reasons also baffle me. The idea that sex is somehow more sacred than any other bodily function doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Given that the concept of virginity is entirely abstract, a person is neither losing or giving anything away by engaging in coitus.


So, how come? What for?

Even with contraceptives, there is the liability of pregnancy or STD's

I guess risk would be the better word

Cinnie said:

So make like a set of high school kids and get down on some oral action without intercourse. If STD's are a concern, use a condom or a dental dam.

Why choose to cut yourself off completely?

some people hate or don't like sex.

I have been celibate for almost a year and a half. It makes the most sense for me right now. I've learned along the way that while I've had plenty of fun over the years, that sex for just fun doesn't work for me anymore.
I'm simply not interested in "just" sex.
So until I find someone worthwile to date, it's completely off the table. I expect to be celibate until I find a decent relationship.
And since I generally don't meet anyone I'm interested in dating (and vice versa) that could mean for the rest of my life. That is to say, I'm not bothering to actively persue it either.

meow85 said:

Because, just like a set of high school kids, there is pressure to perform intercourse when you're already engaged in oral.

Cinnie said:

Not if you establish boundaries first. Which, sex partner or not, is something everyone should be doing with every close relationship they have IMO. Some situations are okay for some relationships, some not so for others.

CarrieMpls said:

Fair enough.

Still can't say I understand it, but if it works for you.

meow85 said:

I guess some people make boundaries before forms of sex are even in question

Cinnie said:

But why cut off the option of sex? I don't understand it.

In that 21 Nights interview of Prince's he makes a comment about how he's currently celibate, in sort of a bragging manner. Why would a person (not just Prince, otherwise I'd have put this in M&M) deliberately choose that, why announce it, why boast about it?

meow85 said:

Why make boundaries at all?

Norm MacDonald was on Howard Stern this week and said he's basically celibate now. He said he prefers "wacking off" because no actual sexual experience could be as good as your own fantasy/hand. And here's a quote from one of his Dennis Miller radio show appearances a little while back:



God, I love Norm.

Cinnie said:

Physical and emotional safety.

There's this concept, especially among women, that sex has to involve love and all these heavy emotions, and that if a person's not careful they can get themselves hurt by it. But why does that have to be? Can't just two (or more) people engage in a fun, safe, consensual activity without it having to be a big, heartwrenching deal? Set up appropriate boundaries ahead of time, accept whatever consequences may come of it (offspring!) and have at 'er.

meow85 said:

How so?

LleeLlee said:

There's no physical marker of it. It doesn't change a thing physically for any male at all, and most women break their hymens prior to having sex, so that can't be counted as an accurate marker either. Virginity is an abstract concept. It's nothing real.

My hymen broke when I was 7 because I fell out of a tree I was climbing and my leg caught on a branch on the way down. If virginity were a real, tangible thing, I'd have to say I lost mine to a maple.

LleeLlee said:

It was painted by Jackson Pollock.

meow85 said:

For many there are no physical markers, but you're either a virgin or you're not, there aren't any grey areas. I wont bore you with a definition as we both know what it is, but abstract is not really a word that comes to my mind, but each to their own.

Ace said:

LleeLlee said:

Speak for yourself. Just because we promised mommy and daddy that we'd remain virgins until marriage, doesn't mean we can't take it up the good ol' poop chute.

...By the by: Perez Hilton was on Stern last week and alleged that John Mayer loved to give it to Jessica Simpson in the fudge factory. The story goes that she'd acquired this skill while remaining a "virgin" before her marriage to Nick Lachey.

Kids today...

Ace said:

Put your T.V back on.

LleeLlee said:

Where do you think I got the idea in the first place?:

Ace said:

Youre hankering for a thrashing my boy, I can tell. The one standing behind is having fun.

LleeLlee said:

But what defines virginity? Why is whether or not a person has engaged in sexual activity a social measure at all? A person does not go through some change or transformation on getting off.

Why is virginity so important, within or without religion? Why does it matter so much that we pretend it's real?

Ace said:

meow85 said:

meow85 said:

Its a rite of passage into adulthood, although saying that some people remain immature even after having kids etc. But technically thats what it is and I guess the loss of innocence. I think its important as it draws a line between childhood and adulthood, now of course people have sex at differnt ages but if we are speaking generally. As for religion, most religions value the notion of purity, in the eyes of god appearing sanctified so that one can pursue a relationship with god in its purest form. Thats just my opinion, im not a theologian. And its late and im half in bed already.

meow85 said:

Are you sure this isn't a Prince Music And More thread?

LleeLlee said:

But why do we attach these notions of purity or innocence to it? That doesn't make any sense, when you think about it. Sex is just an act; a natural function of the body, why should it have any meaning in terms of virtue or value?

If this thing we call virginity really meant anything in terms of innocence or purity, then couldn't a 60 year old world-weary person who'd never had sex be thought of as more pure or innocent than some 15 year old who had?
[Edited 9/27/08 14:55pm]