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Printablehokie said: Baby daddy's daddy drama....
He's such an ass. OMG i know how that is.....not lately tho thank goodness..but i can relate hun!!  X 100
knock on wood edit   [Edited 9/24/08 16:39pm]  | |
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veronikka said: BlackAdder7 said: why did the school allow a non parent to visit a student??
that's what Im wondering as well??? Me too!!!  I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality   |
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He is well known at the school. He worked in the school system for years. I guess they figured it was OK. I feel like that's how problems happen though. Schools get too lax when it comes to checking IDs and checking with parents. | |
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hokie said: He is well known at the school. He worked in the school system for years. I guess they figured it was OK. I feel like that's how problems happen though. Schools get too lax when it comes to checking IDs and checking with parents. My suggestion is you tell them in no uncertain terms that your sons are not allowed to leave the premises with him. | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: Stymie said: 
You should want me to come kick him in the nuts? and you should want me to photograph the incident.I can post the pictures!  Christian Zombie Vampires | |
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Stymie said: hokie said: He is well known at the school. He worked in the school system for years. I guess they figured it was OK. I feel like that's how problems happen though. Schools get too lax when it comes to checking IDs and checking with parents. My suggestion is you tell them in no uncertain terms that your sons are not allowed to leave the premises with him.Please don't take offense, but what good would such an action of "telling him in no uncertain terms that your sons are not allowed to leave the premises with him" is going to do? You make it seem like the grandfather is some kind of criminal by approaching this in such an contentiuos way. I really don't think that would do the realtionship between hokie and the grandfather any good, let alone the relationship between hokie and her ex, let alone between her son and her grandfather. | |
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Burn his friggin' house down.....that's how I roll....  | |
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IMHO, let it slide. There's already enough nastiness going on in the situation. It doesn't seem like him visiting his grandkids is that big of a deal. If he's doing it at a time you aren't there, well, isn't that what both people want? Do you want to see him? Probably not. The man's opinion of you is not going to change, whether it's true or not. If he involves you in discussion's with the children, then yeah, you have a right to step in. But other than that, consider it cool that you don't have to see him any more than you need to. 
I've really learned to pick my battles. Not everything is worth taking it to the extreme. I reserve that for the times when it's worth the battle. We just recently quit paying my kid's mother child support that she didn't deserve. That was worth a fight. Again, that's just my two cents. | |
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JerseyKRS said: IMHO, let it slide. There's already enough nastiness going on in the situation. It doesn't seem like him visiting his grandkids is that big of a deal. If he's doing it at a time you aren't there, well, isn't that what both people want? Do you want to see him? Probably not. The man's opinion of you is not going to change, whether it's true or not. If he involves you in discussion's with the children, then yeah, you have a right to step in. But other than that, consider it cool that you don't have to see him any more than you need to.
I've really learned to pick my battles. Not everything is worth taking it to the extreme. I reserve that for the times when it's worth the battle. We just recently quit paying my kid's mother child support that she didn't deserve. That was worth a fight. Again, that's just my two cents.  What has happened to you man....  ?
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pardonme4livin said: JerseyKRS said: IMHO, let it slide. There's already enough nastiness going on in the situation. It doesn't seem like him visiting his grandkids is that big of a deal. If he's doing it at a time you aren't there, well, isn't that what both people want? Do you want to see him? Probably not. The man's opinion of you is not going to change, whether it's true or not. If he involves you in discussion's with the children, then yeah, you have a right to step in. But other than that, consider it cool that you don't have to see him any more than you need to.
I've really learned to pick my battles. Not everything is worth taking it to the extreme. I reserve that for the times when it's worth the battle. We just recently quit paying my kid's mother child support that she didn't deserve. That was worth a fight. Again, that's just my two cents. What has happened to you man.... ?
dude, the less contact we have with that whole clan in that other household, the better our lives are. | |
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Tremolina said: Stymie said: My suggestion is you tell them in no uncertain terms that your sons are not allowed to leave the premises with him.
Please don't take offense, but what good would such an action of "telling him in no uncertain terms that your sons are not allowed to leave the premises with him" is going to do? You make it seem like the grandfather is some kind of criminal by approaching this in such an contentiuos way. I really don't think that would do the realtionship between hokie and the grandfather any good, let alone the relationship between hokie and her ex, let alone between her son and her grandfather. I think Ivy meant that I should tell the school that he is not to leave school grounds with the kids. I have reason to be nervous. Right after my ex and I separated he tricked me into leaving the house, changed all the locks, took all of our money and the kids and told me I could find somewhere else to live. He said he was going to sue me to take the kids. So, really I'm nervous about anyone interacting with the kids without my knowledge, not just him. But, the thing is that he is the only one going around acting like he can do whatever he wants and doesn't have to show common courtesy. My ex and I have a good relationship now so that is not an issue. It's the ex father-in-law. His mother is actually a really amazing woman who I have a lot of affection and respect for. Even she agrees that her husband is a pain!
I know what you're trying to say that it's best to leave everything alone though. It's actually all worked out now. The ex dad in law is just a jerk and I can't change him. He knows what I expect out of him. I will just deal with ex mother-in-law since we get along and I'll not interact with ex father-in-law. I think that is best. | |
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JerseyKRS said: IMHO, let it slide. There's already enough nastiness going on in the situation. It doesn't seem like him visiting his grandkids is that big of a deal. If he's doing it at a time you aren't there, well, isn't that what both people want? Do you want to see him? Probably not. The man's opinion of you is not going to change, whether it's true or not. If he involves you in discussion's with the children, then yeah, you have a right to step in. But other than that, consider it cool that you don't have to see him any more than you need to.
I've really learned to pick my battles. Not everything is worth taking it to the extreme. I reserve that for the times when it's worth the battle. We just recently quit paying my kid's mother child support that she didn't deserve. That was worth a fight. Again, that's just my two cents. Yeah. I see where you're coming from. The issue isn't him visiting, it's that he needs to let me know what he's doing. I have zero problems with him visiting and yes the less I see him the better. I explain why I'm "paranoid" about the not knowing part below. | |
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hokie said: Tremolina said: Please don't take offense, but what good would such an action of "telling him in no uncertain terms that your sons are not allowed to leave the premises with him" is going to do? You make it seem like the grandfather is some kind of criminal by approaching this in such an contentiuos way. I really don't think that would do the realtionship between hokie and the grandfather any good, let alone the relationship between hokie and her ex, let alone between her son and her grandfather. I think Ivy meant that I should tell the school that he is not to leave school grounds with the kids. I have reason to be nervous. Right after my ex and I separated he tricked me into leaving the house, changed all the locks, took all of our money and the kids and told me I could find somewhere else to live. He said he was going to sue me to take the kids. So, really I'm nervous about anyone interacting with the kids without my knowledge, not just him. But, the thing is that he is the only one going around acting like he can do whatever he wants and doesn't have to show common courtesy. My ex and I have a good relationship now so that is not an issue. It's the ex father-in-law. His mother is actually a really amazing woman who I have a lot of affection and respect for. Even she agrees that her husband is a pain!
I know what you're trying to say that it's best to leave everything alone though. It's actually all worked out now. The ex dad in law is just a jerk and I can't change him. He knows what I expect out of him. I will just deal with ex mother-in-law since we get along and I'll not interact with ex father-in-law. I think that is best.
Exactly, that's what I meant; use the relationships that are working fine (with his mother and him) in a positive way to deal with this. Telling him "in no uncertain terms" he basically can't see see his grandson without your express prior permission is kind of asking for a negative reaction and more problems with him. Won't do your son any good in any case. That's all I was saying really. | |
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Tremolina said: hokie said: I think Ivy meant that I should tell the school that he is not to leave school grounds with the kids. I have reason to be nervous. Right after my ex and I separated he tricked me into leaving the house, changed all the locks, took all of our money and the kids and told me I could find somewhere else to live. He said he was going to sue me to take the kids. So, really I'm nervous about anyone interacting with the kids without my knowledge, not just him. But, the thing is that he is the only one going around acting like he can do whatever he wants and doesn't have to show common courtesy. My ex and I have a good relationship now so that is not an issue. It's the ex father-in-law. His mother is actually a really amazing woman who I have a lot of affection and respect for. Even she agrees that her husband is a pain!
I know what you're trying to say that it's best to leave everything alone though. It's actually all worked out now. The ex dad in law is just a jerk and I can't change him. He knows what I expect out of him. I will just deal with ex mother-in-law since we get along and I'll not interact with ex father-in-law. I think that is best.
Exactly, that's what I meant; use the relationships that are working fine (with his mother and him) in a positive way to deal with this. Telling him "in no uncertain terms" he basically can't see see his grandson without your express prior permission is kind of asking for a negative reaction and more problems with him. Won't do your son any good in any case. That's all I was saying really.
Well, Ivy did offer to kick him in the nuts for me. 
She's so loveable.  | |
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hokie said: Tremolina said:
Exactly, that's what I meant; use the relationships that are working fine (with his mother and him) in a positive way to deal with this. Telling him "in no uncertain terms" he basically can't see see his grandson without your express prior permission is kind of asking for a negative reaction and more problems with him. Won't do your son any good in any case. That's all I was saying really.
Well, Ivy did offer to kick him in the nuts for me.
She's so loveable.
I know, she is absolutely the sweetest!
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hokie said: Thanks guys...
My ex-father-in-law is a monumental jerk. OK...let me ask you this. Muse, maybe you can tell me since you're divorced. If you felt as though your ex's parents totally disrespected you as the childrens' mother would it drive you nuts? I just found out today that my ex's father has been going to my kids' school and having visits and such. OK. The visit isn't an issue. I want them to see each other. But, I think I should have been given a courtesy call. My ex and I had a really nasty divorce. The ex's dad blames me for the divorce and pretty much can't stand me. When I was going through the divorce my ex tricked me into leaving the house then changed all the locks and took all the money out of our account. He informed me he was going to take my kids away from me and that he had already contacted a lawyer. So, I am pretty leery of anyone doing things concerning the kids without letting me know.  Seek legal advice. 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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hokie said: Not really, but because he's been so disrespectful in the past I am just a teensy bid paranoid. Plus, he is the kind of person that just does what he wants. If he wants to do something and someone tells him he shouldn't he will anyway if he believes strongly enough that he is in the right. He DID say to me, "Well, he IS my grandson you know..." 
I did tell him to let me know and he said no problem. So I don't think it would be an issue, but I can't help but worry a little. Sounds like he has controlling issues.
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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Tremolina said: hokie said:
Well, Ivy did offer to kick him in the nuts for me.
She's so loveable.
I know, she is absolutely the sweetest!
 | |
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hokie said: He even had the nerve to "warn" me that if I didn't change my "bad attitude" it would cause me trouble.
I love threats... see this changes shit for me i'd have him shut down completely... i would definitely contact the school and stop him visiting the kids there... a school isn't the place for that...i'd tell the ex to reign his father in | |
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