its really heartbreaking. Any of you been in this position before?

Yes.

It is heartbreaking, but after the heartbreak fades (and it WILL fade) you will be so much clearer, healthier and happier.

Just get through this period, and make sure you have a supportive person you can call in your weak moments who will remind you of all the reasons the relationship sucked, so you won't be tempted to go back.

And eat lots of ice cream and watch lots of movies.

You'll be all right.

My defenses are week, and I should be sleeping now, but here goes...




YES!!!Oh God YES!!!

Sometimes, you just have to call it quits. Especially if , despite the good times, at the end of the day you always feel defeated. I've always been rather selfish in my relationships, so most of the time you could pinpoint just about all of the blame on me.
But sometimes, I give it my best shot. The problem is that when I feel like I'm working towards something, it starts to feel like a job--utterly thankless. As cold and calculated as it feels, sometimes when you're not getting return on investment, it's time to surrender stock so to speak.

It's different from everybody, and each situation is different, so I've never been able to pinpoint the line that gets crossed as being the definite "I quit" line. But up until my current relationship, it's always been there...always looming.

I once had a 19 year old girl , strangely, and wisely, tell me that she knew she'd commit to something no matter what one day--but that there would be no 'thing' she would be able to pinpoint. She just said she'd know when she met Mr. right and when everything would be worth fighting for. Until that time, she wouldn't be afraid to just walk away from a relationship. She was an odd girl in that she remained a virgin until she found the right guy too... It wasn't until she was 25 that she married


DISCLAIMER: None of the utter shite I wrote above should be taken as advice..Its merely a rambling admission from a very tired fool who needs to get to bed.

FunkMistress said:

that, or you'll just be fucking angry.....sorry!

Imago said:

I pretty much check your posts for ^^^^ before even wasting time reading the post.

I'm pretty sure every other Orger uses that approach, these days, too. We're livin' in a time-starved world, man.

ThreadBare said:

Thready!

And, as for the thread topic, yep, I've been there.

What's critical is that you have good friends help you through it. So, they can remind you why you let go of the person in the first place and why you shouldn't second-guess yourself down the road.

Imago said:

Why don't you go watch "Eraserhead" in a W hotel suite? That'll get all that hostility out of you.

Durn vampire hotels.

ThreadBare said:

David Lynch productions are like reading Zelaira threads. They never mean anything, and ultimately, you wish somebody would reassemble them so they made sense.

As far as "W" hotels, they're nice, but I'm aint got no job.

FunkMistress said:

Thanks, its just that (and those who know me on here already know this) we have been back and forth for almost 4 years now. I had just broken up with him earlier this year, but then after a few months, (because we had remained "friends" we were still in contact with each other...big mistake) he seemed like he finally understood what it would take for us to work. Its no question, we both love each other, but our idea of a relationship and the things we want out of it are completely different. I want our relationship to grow, he is still only thinking about himself and only himself. I feel like such a fool because I kept letting him back in my life thinking that things were going to be different, but as soon as we got back togther, it was the same old bullshit all over again. I probably have hurt myself more by continuing to forgive him for his selfishness and getting back with him...


So now i'm realizing that I need to cut him all altogther, no contact at all, at least for a year. I have to move on without him.
[Edited 9/14/08 6:52am]

ThreadBare said:

thanks for the laugh!

missfee said:

Been there done that


It is hard though in time the pain will fade and wonderful things will still come to you

Remember to treat yourself well and allow yourself your feelings

missfee said:

u know love it is heard love yes but u know why in the frist place love i say what was the first thing i was going to say somthing diffrent love but hope this will hlep love cause love a brokeing heart is eays to meend love but it does tack time but u cant do it ah lone love u have to ask jesus christ though him love it should of naver been in the frist place u know love just to eve sit up hear and u know it was realy love then who come did it happenin in the frist place love if u didnt ahll ways put jesus christ frist no matter if ur a woman or a man love u know it realy has to be both ways not just one way love when it realy shloud only be one way love and it has to be that one way frist ahll the time on no matter who or when or whare love u know i was told if u beleve in him he shall come or her if it a man talking to him love but for him even more to be thair by his or her side and naver leavem them cause when they are in troble is when they realy need him love in jesus name peace and love

only been in love once so yes it was (is?) hard to let go.
but ultimately each of you deserve the chance to move on to
something that will work and give you happiness.

it's been a year here.

emm said:

emm said:

well u know even a woman does get hurt even more they say that men get hurt more then men but they realy dont thoe cause of what eve have done then we woman shall feel lobor pains love but thank in jesus name when a woman dont u know loves but u know some of us was even married to some one we even think cause we realy know deep love can realy love u know i think if u love jesus christ u cant still love ur hear can mend but u whount for ever for get about it cause we have to even still love him even more love jesus christ is a man i wloud knot even try and do worng with but we still have the temtion loves but u know peace and love

truleyloved said:

Mods???

We already knew it's all Eve's fault!!!!

abierman said:

well u know then u know it was up to adaum to knot even tryed then cause he could of just said no then it would only be what then no one then cause then i guess he would even tryed to have his onw son then so he did love jesus christ love but who is banned love me oh ok then love but u know love mods can do what they whant to loves but what are they realy trying to stop and for what or even who they trying to stop loves but in that loves i am goin to say peace and love cause every one does what they whant to when they whant to right then peace and love to u and them cause i am no one with out god though jesus christ his son i would of naver benn in the frist place if he would of naver took even that chance on how much love can he realy have love peace and love

truleyloved said:

Please, shut the fuck up .....

emm said:

Okay, it didn't go well. I told him how I felt, he basically told me that I wasn't that much of an important person to him anyway (after 4 fucking years!!!) and that he wasn't going to argue with me if I wanted to break up and then hung up in my face. That fucking asshole...I'm in complete shock right now that he even told me those horrible things...obviously he had been thinking that for a while, otherwise it wouldn't have just flown out of his mouth. I just wish that I was able to get some insults towards him in before he hung up on me, but oh well, I wasn't going to call him back and do it to even give him the satisfaction. I fucking hate him at this point. He better not call me a few weeks from now apologizing or anything, I don't ever want to hear from him ever again in life!!! i've basically been all day about it.

truleyloved said:

I have no idea what you just said.

truleyloved said:

MOOONNAAY!!!!! I LOVE YOU MOONAY!!!

missfee said:

yeah, i know the type, all too well.

btw: friends can be a good support, but they dont know me like i do.

missfee said:

Oh yes. I broke it up like 10 times and every time she came back explaining, apologising, seducing, begging, crying, lying, professing her "love" for me. I knew it wasn't going to work anymore so tried to move the relationship into an "open" one, made an agreement with her on that, but that was illusional as well. In fact it only made matters worse. Yes it sucks, big time.

Tremolina said:

Wow, sounds like a lot of hurt and pain. You are right, the more you go back and forth, the more pain is caused.

Tremolina said:

well love i am sorry u had to even love but if u whant to know love did u ever get marryed to her love then u just look around even had kids by her even whent though like hell in every way thair was just to even know that she could of died any time whlie giveing brith yahll whant me to even u know then whare the skares on the inside as well as what she look's like on he out side her face would even try to be like them love u know this would u know how many times can any one realy would whant to even know but love peace and u know at lest every one can look at thair slef in the merror but she realy can't cause knot only of her skares that she whare even on the out side but then ones she even have on the inside thoe will naver heal so how could she even love and know it cause it naver left her peace and love

missfee said:

yes, selfish people belong on the otherside of that very fine line which divides the heavens and the earth.

stay safe.