Or would you put your teenage daughter on birth control?

No, I'm not asking for advice lol ...I was just curious as to what everyone here thought on the subject. (mods, this isn't meant as political, so hopefully it doesn't get lumped into that category).

And if your daughter didn't want to go on birth control, what would you do or say? ...

Just some thoughts that have been on my mind, especially since I do have a teenage daughter...

Byron said:

15

I wouldn't "put my daughter on it" at all. That would be her choice to make.

But I'd be sure to talk to her about how important her health is, about contraception and disease, etc. I'd be happy to take her to the clinic, pay for it, whatever she needed.

oh...and if she didn't want to ...tough shit I'd force her to be on it.
no...I'm just kiddn' bout that...but really, if she didn't want to, of course there would be conversations surrounding that and I'd hand her condoms.

Shorty said:

My daughter's 15 ...

CarrieMpls said:

CarrieMpls said:

Ok, imagine this scenario...you suspect she might be (or soon be) sexually active...yet she says "no" to any subject concerning birth control. What do you do then?

Damn Byron! Askin' the TOUGH questions today, man, it's Friday and this is a Monday question... sheesh!!

I have 2 girls (5 and 2) so no worries yet...

I'd say that we'd have to have that long sit down talk about "The Subject" when they started to show a noticeable increase in paying attention to boys. IN this day and age it's really tough to call but I think the talk comes around 13 but the actual product, goods or hardware... I really couldn't tell you... I'll hope for 16 or 17 but that may be wishful thinking...






I'mma give my girls HELLA chocolate and NO facial cleansers at puberty... keep'em safe...

RenHoek said:

Since I was a teenage Mom, and I have two daughters, I was very open about birth control with both of them. We talked about it and I told them their options. I wasn't saying, here is birth control, now go have sex. I was only letting them know what was out there, so just in case they did have sex. That way if they did decide to go that way, they knew what was out there. It also opened a door letting them know they could come to me, and be open and honest.

I will say, I have no regrets on having my girls at the age I did, but I do wish I could have been open with my Mom about birth control. That was something that was NEVER brought up. I believe education is the key!

Bryon...I had this birth control talk with my girls when they both became "women" and then again a couple of years later. Then again when they both went out on their own.

Now if my girls decided not to go on birth control and they were having sex, I would only remind them of all the tough times I went through being a teen Mom myself. Once again...it's all about education!!! So I think parents should talk about sex and birth control!

But these are only my thoughts.

Byron said:

I can imagine it because that was me. I was totally contemplating sex at 15 (mostly due to peer pressure) but if either one of my parents asked me anything about it I would so deny it. I couldn't even handle talking about kissing at that age..I don't know why but I was mortified to talk about that kind of thing with my parents even though my parents were not really stict or old fashion.
My best friends sister offered to take me and her sister to Planned Parenthood, I jumped at the chance. So perhaps, if you have a sister or your daughter has a friend or an aunt who you think she'd be will to confide in...give that person your permission to speak with her and or take her to get on what ever form of BC she comfortable with.

Shorty said:

Hmm...you sound a lot like my daughter lol ...I have no idea if she's considering anything intimate (but every teen considers it, so...), but she would probably be shy about it like you described. I do know that her mother has talked bluntly about sex, including her own experiences at her age...I've talked with her as well, but not to the same degree as her mom.

MoniGram said:

Did you having "been there, done that" help with their choices and decisions, do you think?...Or did they have more of an attitude of "Well, that was YOU. I'm different." type of reaction?

MoniGram said:

Hear, Hear!!

Excellent thoughts and very well said... Eduction is so critical when it comes to this subject...

Byron said:

I'd probably talk to another adult she's close with to see what they know and see if they'd talk to her also.

I'm not a parent. But I know what I was like at that age and I believe a woman of 15 or so can make her own decisions when it comes to her health. I would just want to be sure she was making the best choices possible.

Also - I myself can't do the pill, it makes me crazy. I'd make sure she knows every option available and I'd ask her to promise me she's using protection with each and every sexual encounter.

And I would trust my daughter's decision-making ability.

My sister was put on the pill at 14 to help with her period pains , she is 18 next week and I know she is sexually active now so Ive made sure I had a word with her about not just using the pill as a means of contraception

ooh! I would most definitely get her vaccinated for HPV, though. No question about it.

I wished I could talk to her more about looking after herself but shes at a bit difficult recently , OK thats an understatement !!!!!

Byron said:

does she have a boyfriend? if my mom or dad had talked bluntly about sex with me...it probably would have mortified me further. I dunno...maybe it would have helped me say something.
I have a 15 year old niece who quite frankly is HOT! there's just no denying it...and she has a boyfriend....I've asked my sis in law (her mum) if she's thinking about BC with her and she's like "oh angel, she's just so not into that yet" she's barely holding hands... well, then a few weeks ago dad came home early from work and found them two snuggled up on the couch only watching TV but....hello! that's more than holding hands.
Now here's my dillema, maybe you can give me some advice. I want to e-mail/call/speak with my niece privately and offer to take her to Planned Parenthood just like what was done for me. BUT...I no this is something that my sis in law and brother inlaw could potentially HATE me for....but...in the long run I think they'd thank me for it. I think what I should do is ask her mom if she'd like me to approach her about it...but I have a feeling she'll say no, and then I'll just want to do it behind her back. I don't know.

Byron said:

It helped a great deal, and I got them both through high school with out getting pregnant, or STD's! Did it stop them from not having sex, I don't know. But I gave them the tools of knowing their options just in case they did!

I'd suggest it to her as soon as I knew she was sexually active. I would make it clear that it's her choice, not mine. My preference would be that she uses condoms, regardless of whether she's on the pill or not.

Just because the pill is prescribed doesn't mean it's taken. I think parents sometimes forget that.

Sixteen...because she'll have my permission to date when she turns 16, I don't feel I should do one without the other.

Oh I dunno, I'd imagine she'd be asking about sex (or I'd be asking her about it) at 13 or 14. If she wanted to go on it (and I would totally recommend that she should) I'd be all for it.

killerdiller said:

Excellent answer, to the point and factual. Excellent...

RenHoek said:

Byron said:

Double for me...my oldest daughter is 16...and has a boyfriend

I never did. She was armed with enough information and freedom to make those decisions for herself. She's made it 22, and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm hesitant to name a standard age as I think each kid is unique. And at no time would I "put her on" birth control. It would have to be her decision. (Although, based on her refusal if she were having sex, I could see myself insisting she get a job that'd support a baby.)

But I think, as others have said, what's important here is a very comfortable, sober and truthful line of communication. And that sort of thing must be organic and start early, I think. My 7-year-old knows the mechanics of human sexuality -- because she asked, I knew her well enough to know it wouldn't rock her world, and there is simply no sense in lying. And as I think she's ready, she'll also learn about birth control and other relevant matters, probably well before she's sexually active.

Nothing's fail-safe, but my hope is that sort of treatment might best be incorporated into my daughter's own growing sensibilities about sex, health and personal ethic, rather than a sort of 11th-hour crash course or trial by fire than so many of us encounter.

abstinance only

shausler said:

OMFG please tell me that's real...










nah, that would be too easy...