paintedlady said:

I wasn't beaten up, just took a lot of verbal abuse. It's not cool for black boys to achieve in school - I heard the word 'fa***t' & 'whitey' many times. Being small didn't help either. I wish I could run into some of those MFers now, because it'd be a whole different story(for the reasons Mutha stated).

uPtoWnNY said:

Shorty said:

You did what you could. She has to come to terms with kids are mean and cruel(or can be) and most grow out of it. I mean I could have remained bitter for what was said to me, but I had moved on already.

Now there are a few MF's who if I were to cross paths and somehow get an apology, I don't think I could accept...well I would accept but not exactly forgive.

REDFEATHERS said:

OMG Hiiiii

@ some of ya'll putting the smackdown on the people who bullied you. Wish I could have done that, but I was too damn shy.

Where I am bullying is a crime and one can be held accountable.

Here's a fantastic site http://www.b-free.ca. I hope this helps any child who is going through this. It's not fun.

I had 8 brothers and sisters in my home as I was growing up...and I was near the bottom of the chain. I learned how to fight cuz every now and then one of my 5 brothers would mess with me. I never won against them, but I toughened up a lot.

When the bullies came my way, at first I was really scared. In kindergarten, Ernest, who was the size of a 13 year old picked on me every day, yet he designated me as the person who can tie his shoes. One day, after he did something terrible, the teacher was just sick of it. I cried and ran away. The teacher retrieved me, held Ernest's arms down and told me to kick him. I was too scared too so I tapped him, and she made me keep kicking until he finally cried. She then told me to never let anybody bully me again.

After that and a few more incidents, win or lose, you pick on me and I would give you the fight of your life...you walked away looking like you had a fight, and you had no desire to fight me again. When I was dealing with groups, I ran. But the moment I ran into a group member alone, I would beat the shit outta them. For that reason, even people who were hanging with others just didn't want to deal because everybody has to be alone one day. And if you messed with me and I caught you without your audience/bodyguards, it was on.

When children in school dare to strike my kids, I told my children, hit back as hard as you can, THEN tell afterward. If a bully gets away with it once, they will do it again and again and punk you because all you did is tell. If its too dangerous, I tell my children I will get involved and threaten to press charges and shit. Nobody wants their kids kicked out. I'll certainly make negligent parents miserable in court if they cannot control their screwed up kids.

My kids are not there to be anybody's victim. I once told the school that if my child suffers under their watch, I will sue not just the parents, but the school as well because they have been made aware of the risk and it is their job to be proactive about the problem and shield my child. Believe me, I will sue their asses professionally and personally. That no violence in school shit is a contract, so it goes both ways and you must hold the schools accountable.

StillGotIt said:

And that's just it. You don't have to "win" the fight, just show you ain't no punk and that a muthafucka is gonna have to pack a lunch if he's/she's gonna fuck with you. A bully HATES resistance, especially physical resistance.

Oh, and ya kindergarten teacher was a bad-ass!

luv4u said:

Its great that they are addressing it where u live. It is serious. I dont know where it happened, but I remember reading a news story about a little boy who was bullied, eventually pushed down the stairs and he's now paralyzed fromt eh neck down. See...I'd have to get all frigging psycho on somebody's kid over somethng like that....

StillGotIt said:

That's terrible!!!

For some reason bullying these days isn't as psychical. All the bullying I suffered, as well as those around me, has been psychological. Picking me up on everything I do,say, wear. By the end of primary school I was an insecure wreck. I even stopped talking for two days straight just so they'd leave me alone.

It took a good 5 years for me to recover and I occasionally still have panic attacks where I think everyone at school hates me.

I didn't really try to help myself by not telling my mum everything but she had the tendancy to fly off the handle about it, which made me cautious about what I told her.

When/If I'm a parent, the number one thing I'll tell my child is to NEVER just accept and ignore. EVERY SINGLE adult told me that and that just makes them do it more. They get braver and nastier because they can. You fight back and they shut the hell up, believe me.

purplesweat said:

I'm sorry you went through that . I know what you mean about being cautious about what you told your mom, because she would fly off the handle about it. My mom was the exact same way.

StillGotIt said:

see .. that's horrible

psychodelicide said:

That is horrible.

I am so sorry to hear that.

FunkMistress said:

Thank you for the hug.

psychodelicide said:

Flowers2 said:

Thanks.

psychodelicide said:

I don't think she meant it in a bad way, it was more of an impulse feeling but it really didn't help anything.

Still, the teachers and principal were pathetic at my school so I doubt anything would've been done even if she had talked to them.

My friend went to a teacher crying because the bullies had said racist things about her father and the teacher looked so annoyed she had to deal with it, she just said "Just block it out, ignore it, pretend it never happened".

I saw her once at a shopping centre, she smiled at me and I just turned my back.

I do believe it's the schools responsibility to either deal with it or find ways to prevent it.

There was a group of guys who tried to bully me over the course of a couple years in high school. Y'know public school was borderline lord of the flies because kids were just on their own with 300 other kids with classes thrown in for distraction.

Finally, I had enough and made the leader of the group step up after school. He had a wrestling back-ground and eventually got me into a position where I had to give-up but he knew he had been in a fight. After that, no more issues from anyone except the grown ass men who shouldn't have been in high school but flunked 4 times. Full beards and like 24 years old...you just learned to stay on their good side and make friends with their minions in gym class (where the beatings would go down)

Slave2daGroove said:

Yep. Just challenge them. This also goes for older siblings . Growing up, my older brother used to impose his will on me until I got to high school and started playing football; lifting weights. So one day he tried to take one to the chest and I took, then I banged on him in his chest REAL HARD and knocked his ass into a bookshelf . He said "Damn, how much you lift now?" I took off my sweatshirt and showed him a T-shirt that said "300lbs Bench Club" and his jaw dropped - while he was still rubbing his chest . After that, he wanted to bench with me and never tried that shit again.

MuthaFunka said:

yeah, I remember the day my dad learned I was not going to be touched again...I think all it took was a quick block to a swing and a stiff arm that left him on his ass...chest exercises and triceps dips...

Slave2daGroove said:

I remember the day I THOUGHT I was gonna be able to handle pops, oddly enough, it wasn't long after I set my brother straight. One day I told pops I was strong enough to handle him (And I was) but for I finished my point, he just BLASTED on me in my chest, thus solidifying he was REALLY runnin' thangs!

MuthaFunka said:

See and that was my mom! Small, Irish and strong as an Ox...

Not that I could ever raise a hand to her in my life but I always respected where that back-hand was coming from...

Slave2daGroove said:

Our moms have created time travel and never got the credit for it: "Boy, I will slap you into the middle of next week if you don't clean up that room!"

purplesweat said:

I think it was an impulse thing for my mom too to get angry. But you're right; it DOES NOT help the situation at all.

The teachers and principal at my school were not helpful either, except for my 5th grade teacher. She saw what was going on, and tried to help. But unfortunately, it just made things worse. She even tried to talk to my mom about how my mom acted towards me, and that did not help either.

And telling someone to "ignore it" is not helpful either, especially when the kids are brazen enough to say mean, hurtful things right to your face (because they know they can get away with it). I can understand why your friend was upset, I would be too. I don't blame you for not smiling back at the teacher when you saw her. I probably would have done the same thing.

I agree that the schools need to find better ways to prevent bullying, or to stop it once it occurs. The schools nowadays have anti-bullying policies, which I think is great. But, I feel that it's a damn shame that they didn't have those anti-bullying policies in school when were growing up. It sure would have prevented a lot of problems.

I Was Bullied