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What if the devil had voice mail? :D Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the devil decided to install voice mail? Imagine worshiping false idols and hearing the following:
"Thank you for calling hell. For English press 1 For Spanish press 2 For all other languages, press 3 Please select one of the following options: Press 1 for requests Press 2 for thanksgiving Press 3 for complaints Press 4 for all others I am sorry, all our demons are busy destroying lives, confusing humans right now. However please note your call is not important to us at all, and we will answer only if we think you will turn to god for the real truth. Please stay on the line. If you would like to speak to: Devil, press 1 anti christ, press 2 demonic represenatives , press 3 To find a loved one that has been assigned to hell press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. (If you receive a negative response, prays the lord for all sins have been washed way!) For reservations to hell, please continue to listen and agree with ICEnine from www.prince.org (the devil is very very proud of his good works!) 
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics. Our computers show that you have already been tempted and belittled for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday and make sure we do our best to ruin it! . If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local drug dealer, devil worshiper, pervert or local prostitute. Thank you for being hard headed and please continue to deny God and his existance, because there is nothing more pleasing to the devil then seeing the children of God hate each other, sin, and slither around like worms when they are really precious, priceless, and beloved creatures of God! | |
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What if the Devil had a cell phone?
What tune would it play when it rang?  | |
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RaneStarr said: For reservations to hell, please continue to listen and agree with ICEnine from www.prince.org (the devil is very very proud of his good works!) I see that IceNine is not the only one who will resort to baiting!!!Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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2the9s said: What if the Devil had a cell phone?
What tune would it play when it rang? Hot In Here - Nelly | |
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BorisFishpaw said: 2the9s said: What if the Devil had a cell phone?
What tune would it play when it rang? Hot In Here - Nelly  | |
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RaneStarr I love U, though i'm still not converted... I feel pretty, that's enough | |
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you're back at it again Ranestarr...you go girl! _______________________________________________________________________________________ You can hate me for who I am, cuz I won't be something that i'm not. | |
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the devil has this facilities - belief me - heheheheh
Uhave2B - - - P R I N C E - - - 2BcomeMYKINGanyway. | |
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servantsofpuas said: RaneStarr I love U, though i'm still not converted...
awww serv, eye love u 2   I ain't startin' trouble just havin some fun y'all  | |
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I tried dialling 666 (...apparently the number of the beast)
but all I got was "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed has not been recognised, please check the number and try again". Someone should have told 'that John guy' that he left off the area code before all those bibles went to print (he's obviously a stranger to proof-reading). | |
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Sahar said: the devil has this facilities - belief me - heheheheh
He does not only have them he invented them. free ur mind | |
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I dunno about voice mail, but he has e-mail. The Devil and I keep in close contact. -------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti... "I've just had an apostrophe!" "I think you mean an epiphany..." | |
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BattierBeMyDaddy said: I dunno about voice mail, but he has e-mail. The Devil and I keep in close contact.
What's he up to these days? | |
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what if there was such thing as "the devil"? | |
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Cloudbuster said: BattierBeMyDaddy said: I dunno about voice mail, but he has e-mail. The Devil and I keep in close contact.
What's he up to these days? Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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AaronForever said:
what if there was such thing as "the devil"?
There is no if. Just ask Robert Smith. | |
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Actually, as skeptical as I am, there is such a thing as pure Evil...just think of a person you know who cannot take criticism of any kind, who will commit thoughtless acts and never take responsibility for them...someone who will never apologize in a sincere way...these are the "People of the Lie" as M. Scott Peck put it once, and I've met a few--once you recognize them, they creep you out--these people are at war with reality itself. If there ever was a devil, it is evasion, un-truth, and the people who shrivel up once they succumb to it. Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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teller said: Cloudbuster said: BattierBeMyDaddy said: I dunno about voice mail, but he has e-mail. The Devil and I keep in close contact.
What's he up to these days? That would make sense. | |
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Cloudbuster said: teller said: Cloudbuster said: BattierBeMyDaddy said: I dunno about voice mail, but he has e-mail. The Devil and I keep in close contact.
What's he up to these days? That would make sense. My good chum, Lucifer, has been basking in the sun down in Barbados. He doesn't much care for the winter, you know. But teller got it right on the media. Have you ever thought that Larry King was the devil? You might be right.  -------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti... "I've just had an apostrophe!" "I think you mean an epiphany..." | |
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BattierBeMyDaddy said: Have you ever thought that Larry King was the devil? You might be right. No, Larry King is simply incompetent. Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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teller said: Actually, as skeptical as I am, there is such a thing as pure Evil...just think of a person you know who cannot take criticism of any kind, who will commit thoughtless acts and never take responsibility for them...someone who will never apologize in a sincere way...these are the "People of the Lie" as M. Scott Peck put it once, and I've met a few--once you recognize them, they creep you out--these people are at war with reality itself. If there ever was a devil, it is evasion, un-truth, and the people who shrivel up once they succumb to it.
but you believe in free will, too. ha! sucker! | |
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AaronForever said: teller said: Actually, as skeptical as I am, there is such a thing as pure Evil...just think of a person you know who cannot take criticism of any kind, who will commit thoughtless acts and never take responsibility for them...someone who will never apologize in a sincere way...these are the "People of the Lie" as M. Scott Peck put it once, and I've met a few--once you recognize them, they creep you out--these people are at war with reality itself. If there ever was a devil, it is evasion, un-truth, and the people who shrivel up once they succumb to it.
but you believe in free will, too. ha! sucker! Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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teller said: AaronForever said: teller said: Actually, as skeptical as I am, there is such a thing as pure Evil...just think of a person you know who cannot take criticism of any kind, who will commit thoughtless acts and never take responsibility for them...someone who will never apologize in a sincere way...these are the "People of the Lie" as M. Scott Peck put it once, and I've met a few--once you recognize them, they creep you out--these people are at war with reality itself. If there ever was a devil, it is evasion, un-truth, and the people who shrivel up once they succumb to it.
but you believe in free will, too. ha! sucker! no. you're consitently gullible | |
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AaronForever said: teller said: AaronForever said: teller said: Actually, as skeptical as I am, there is such a thing as pure Evil...just think of a person you know who cannot take criticism of any kind, who will commit thoughtless acts and never take responsibility for them...someone who will never apologize in a sincere way...these are the "People of the Lie" as M. Scott Peck put it once, and I've met a few--once you recognize them, they creep you out--these people are at war with reality itself. If there ever was a devil, it is evasion, un-truth, and the people who shrivel up once they succumb to it.
but you believe in free will, too. ha! sucker! no. you're consitently gullible Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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teller said: AaronForever said: teller said: AaronForever said: teller said: Actually, as skeptical as I am, there is such a thing as pure Evil...just think of a person you know who cannot take criticism of any kind, who will commit thoughtless acts and never take responsibility for them...someone who will never apologize in a sincere way...these are the "People of the Lie" as M. Scott Peck put it once, and I've met a few--once you recognize them, they creep you out--these people are at war with reality itself. If there ever was a devil, it is evasion, un-truth, and the people who shrivel up once they succumb to it.
but you believe in free will, too. ha! sucker! no. you're consitently gullible correct. and to elaborate on why i didn't elaborate, see my explanation of why you'll get no debate out of me on this. see? everything is cause & effect | |
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AaronForever said: correct. and to elaborate on why i didn't elaborate, see my explanation of why you'll get no debate out of me on this.
k buddy...but this doesn't get you off the hook! see? everything is cause & effect Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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teller said: BattierBeMyDaddy said: Have you ever thought that Larry King was the devil? You might be right. No, Larry King is simply incompetent. The women love Larry though. -------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti... "I've just had an apostrophe!" "I think you mean an epiphany..." | |
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BattierBeMyDaddy said: teller said: BattierBeMyDaddy said: Have you ever thought that Larry King was the devil? You might be right. No, Larry King is simply incompetent. The women love Larry though. Fear is the mind-killer. | |
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Janeau said: Sahar said: the devil has this facilities - belief me - heheheheh
He does not only have them he invented them.   Uhave2B - - - P R I N C E - - - 2BcomeMYKINGanyway. | |
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