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Thread started 08/15/08 1:17pm

vainandy

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Guess what present I bought for my best friend's birthday tomorrow......

A telephone that is in the shape of a great big ole dick. When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.

Y'all think he'll like it? lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #1 posted 08/15/08 1:20pm

mdiver

Dunno...does he like moaning dick? lol
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Reply #2 posted 08/15/08 1:28pm

Nothinbutjoy

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mdiver said:

Dunno...does he like moaning dick? lol




spit

That is the question.


rose
I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #3 posted 08/15/08 1:41pm

rachel3

WHAT!!!!! OMG!!!!! LOL!!!!!
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Reply #4 posted 08/15/08 1:48pm

MoniGram

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Wow eek
Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian mushy
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Reply #5 posted 08/15/08 1:49pm

Mars23

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moderator

When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.



Who wants to clean up after every call?

Buy him some moist towelettes as well.
Studies have shown the ass crack of the average Prince fan to be abnormally large. This explains the ease and frequency of their panties bunching up in it.
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Reply #6 posted 08/15/08 2:33pm

vainandy

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mdiver said:

Dunno...does he like moaning dick? lol


Yes he does. lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #7 posted 08/15/08 2:35pm

vainandy

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Mars23 said:

When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.



Who wants to clean up after every call?

Buy him some moist towelettes as well.


I'm assuming it just makes the noise. I doubt it supplies the visual. lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #8 posted 08/15/08 2:37pm

vainandy

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rachel3 said:

WHAT!!!!! OMG!!!!! LOL!!!!!


I'm sure that will be his reaction when he opens it. I can hear him now....."Only a crazy whore like you would be able to find a gift like that. I don't know why I'm shocked. I should only be shocked if you gave me something that wasn't shocking". lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #9 posted 08/15/08 2:41pm

mdiver

vainandy said:



Yes he does. lol


Then you picked a winner... woot! or weiner....either way lol
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Reply #10 posted 08/15/08 2:41pm

psychodelicide

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vainandy said:

A telephone that is in the shape of a great big ole dick. When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.

Y'all think he'll like it? lol


falloff Where did you find it?
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you.
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Reply #11 posted 08/15/08 2:44pm

HamsterHuey

vainandy said:

A telephone that is in the shape of a great big ole dick. When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.

Y'all think he'll like it? lol


Is he a bottom?
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Reply #12 posted 08/15/08 2:52pm

vainandy

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psychodelicide said:

vainandy said:

A telephone that is in the shape of a great big ole dick. When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.

Y'all think he'll like it? lol


falloff Where did you find it?


I found it at an X rated video store. I've seen it in there for ages. At first I thought it was a sex toy (which are rediculously against the law in our state) and was hoping it wasn't because the police would shut them down for it and that's the only X rated store in my area that I feel safe at.

Anyway, out of curiosity, I asked the clerk what it was and he picked it up and showed me it was a phone. At the bottom, underneath the balls, are the buttons to dial with. The dick head has a few holes to listen through and in the center of the balls there are a few holes to talk into.
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #13 posted 08/15/08 2:53pm

vainandy

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HamsterHuey said:

vainandy said:

A telephone that is in the shape of a great big ole dick. When it rings, it moans and has an orgasm.

Y'all think he'll like it? lol


Is he a bottom?


He's a top but he likes dick also.
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #14 posted 08/15/08 2:54pm

HamsterHuey

vainandy said:



I found it at an X rated video store. I've seen it in there for ages. At first I thought it was a sex toy (which are rediculously against the law in our state) and was hoping it wasn't because the police would shut them down for it and that's the only X rated store in my area that I feel safe at.

Anyway, out of curiosity, I asked the clerk what it was and he picked it up and showed me it was a phone. At the bottom, underneath the balls, are the buttons to dial with. The dick head has a few holes to listen through and in the center of the balls there are a few holes to talk into.


How does it 'orgasm'?

Can we send one to Paisley Park?
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Reply #15 posted 08/15/08 2:57pm

vainandy

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HamsterHuey said:

vainandy said:



I found it at an X rated video store. I've seen it in there for ages. At first I thought it was a sex toy (which are rediculously against the law in our state) and was hoping it wasn't because the police would shut them down for it and that's the only X rated store in my area that I feel safe at.

Anyway, out of curiosity, I asked the clerk what it was and he picked it up and showed me it was a phone. At the bottom, underneath the balls, are the buttons to dial with. The dick head has a few holes to listen through and in the center of the balls there are a few holes to talk into.


How does it 'orgasm'?

Can we send one to Paisley Park?


falloff I assume that it makes the moaning noise of a man when he has an orgasm. When my friend opens it, I'm going to have him plug it up and test it out. lol

As for Paisley Park, Prince would die if he received something like that, especially since he's become so "holy" these days. lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #16 posted 08/15/08 3:02pm

HamsterHuey

vainandy said:

As for Paisley Park, Prince would die if he received something like that, especially since he's become so "holy" these days. lol


I will from now on imagine him talking through your phone whenever I hear him talk to Vanessa Bartolomew.

"Is that a tonebox?"

"No, it's a talking penis"
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Reply #17 posted 08/15/08 3:03pm

Mysterioso

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Why did I expect "Dick in a Box" when I opened the thread?
This sig is just a fig of your imago-neigh-shun
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Reply #18 posted 08/15/08 3:04pm

psychodelicide

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vainandy said:



I found it at an X rated video store. I've seen it in there for ages. At first I thought it was a sex toy (which are rediculously against the law in our state) and was hoping it wasn't because the police would shut them down for it and that's the only X rated store in my area that I feel safe at.

Anyway, out of curiosity, I asked the clerk what it was and he picked it up and showed me it was a phone. At the bottom, underneath the balls, are the buttons to dial with. The dick head has a few holes to listen through and in the center of the balls there are a few holes to talk into.


falloff Too damn funny! lol I would love to see a picture of it.
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you.
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Reply #19 posted 08/15/08 3:05pm

psychodelicide

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HamsterHuey said:

vainandy said:

As for Paisley Park, Prince would die if he received something like that, especially since he's become so "holy" these days. lol


I will from now on imagine him talking through your phone whenever I hear him talk to Vanessa Bartolomew.

"Is that a tonebox?"

"No, it's a talking penis"


falloff
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you.
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Reply #20 posted 08/15/08 3:07pm

HamsterHuey

psychodelicide said:

I would love to see a picture of it.


Co-sign!
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Reply #21 posted 08/15/08 3:15pm

EmeraldSkies

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lol
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach
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Reply #22 posted 08/15/08 3:21pm

HamsterHuey

Oh man
Your digit
Is rigid
I wanna pick it up
And put my fingers around it
And put my lips to your balls
I wanna answer that call
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Reply #23 posted 08/18/08 12:13pm

vainandy

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OK, he opened his present and he absolutely loved it!

We plugged it up and tested it. Since it was a dick, I was expecting to hear a man's voice moaning. Instead, it was a female voice going.....

Aaah....oooooh.....fuck me.....fuck me.....do it to me.....harder.....aaah....oooh...fuck me....

He said he was going to put the phone in his bedroom. I said..."Bitch, that's the only female moaning that bedroom will ever hear". lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #24 posted 08/18/08 12:20pm

psychodelicide

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vainandy said:

OK, he opened his present and he absolutely loved it!

We plugged it up and tested it. Since it was a dick, I was expecting to hear a man's voice moaning. Instead, it was a female voice going.....

Aaah....oooooh.....fuck me.....fuck me.....do it to me.....harder.....aaah....oooh...fuck me....

He said he was going to put the phone in his bedroom. I said..."Bitch, that's the only female moaning that bedroom will ever hear". lol


falloff I'm glad your friend liked his gift.
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you.
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Reply #25 posted 08/18/08 12:21pm

RenHoek

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vainandy said:

OK, he opened his present and he absolutely loved it!

We plugged it up and tested it. Since it was a dick, I was expecting to hear a man's voice moaning. Instead, it was a female voice going.....

Aaah....oooooh.....fuck me.....fuck me.....do it to me.....harder.....aaah....oooh...fuck me....

He said he was going to put the phone in his bedroom. I said..."Bitch, that's the only female moaning that bedroom will ever hear". lol


there's a vidclip just moaning to be made... falloff
A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #26 posted 08/18/08 12:22pm

psychodelicide

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RenHoek said:

vainandy said:

OK, he opened his present and he absolutely loved it!

We plugged it up and tested it. Since it was a dick, I was expecting to hear a man's voice moaning. Instead, it was a female voice going.....

Aaah....oooooh.....fuck me.....fuck me.....do it to me.....harder.....aaah....oooh...fuck me....

He said he was going to put the phone in his bedroom. I said..."Bitch, that's the only female moaning that bedroom will ever hear". lol


there's a vidclip just moaning to be made... falloff


nod Vainandy and/or his friend needs to videotape the penis phone and put it on youtube. giggle I want to see this phone in action.
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you.
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Reply #27 posted 08/18/08 12:27pm

vainandy

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psychodelicide said:

RenHoek said:



there's a vidclip just moaning to be made... falloff


nod Vainandy and/or his friend needs to videotape the penis phone and put it on youtube. giggle I want to see this phone in action.


I'd love to but no chance of that. I only have internet at work and youtube is one of the sites that is blocked. And my friend doesn't even have a computer.
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #28 posted 08/18/08 12:32pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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Pictures! Where are the pictures?! lol
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #29 posted 08/18/08 12:33pm

RenHoek

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vainandy said:



I'd love to but no chance of that. I only have internet at work and youtube is one of the sites that is blocked. And my friend doesn't even have a computer.


God! Sounds like the Dark Ages...
A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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