A friend sent me this, and I thought it was cute. Just thought I'd share:

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to
install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

"Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others


I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners
right
now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the
order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter
his social security # followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code
666)


For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3
16.


For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets,
please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.


Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please
hang up and call again tomorrow.


The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please
contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day."

What if the devil had voice mail?

The Devil does have voice mail! See, I know him. he's really kinda dumb, so his voice mail is just him grunting like the little piggy he is!

lol

Hello,

You've reached the residence of God. I'm not here right now. Well actually, I'm never here. Well, actually, I've never been here.

But please leave a short message after the heavenly beep, and we'll both pretend I actually listened to it, for your own benefit.

If you need immediate assistance, press zero and you will be connected with one of my receptionists... I mean priests.

(beep)

If God had voice mail, I'd call him up and say, "You suck."

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

And he would smite you!

And here I thought God could read your mind.