I was hoping someone stinkpalmed her after the title.

It may be unscientific, but I heard stealing narcotics weakens the wrists.

This is why, when I first meet a woman, I dislike shaking hands in the traditional manner. Who knows whether or not she will have strong wrists? I don't want to hurt anyone. So mostly, I just reach out and give tummy rubs instead.

magnificentsynthesizer said:

REALLY?! i dislike traditional handshakes, too! not because i'm afraid of hurting anyone, but because i'm afraid of their germs. so, instead of shaking their hand i just stroke their hair and scratch under their chin and behind their ears. i always get a good response when i scratch behind thier ear, usually, one of their legs begin to shake and they squirt out a little pee. IT'S SOOO CUTE!

Mars23 said:

XxAxX said:

Hmm. I think we've met, in fact you were the lady at the coffe cart, weren't you? And before you say anything along the lines of 'freak' or 'weirdo' (like you did last time), just let me apologize profusely for wetting your leg like that. I really didn't mean to. It was an involuntary reaction. Wow! wasn't that awkward? But seriously, I'm sorry. Did dry cleaning take care of the stain?

I heard on the radio that Cindy McCain suffered a sprained wrist from a handshake

Are you one of these jackasses that must prove your manhood by breaking the hands of people you shake hands with? This absolutely drives me nuts and I want to smash your face in.

magnificentsynthesizer said:

Oh, don't be silly, Maggie. i couldn't say anything at the time, but i'm completely turned on by watersports. and what dry cleaning? who said i wanted that stain out. honestly, i left it in and i sniff it everyday whilst thinking about you. it smells of multivitamins and pineapple!

btw, i'm a huge R Kelly fan.

You + Me + an R Kelly album / a gallon of Evian =

XxAxX said:

Y'know, since we are 'fessing up here, I'd just like to say I will sometimes swallow like, a gallon of something stinky. Perhaps it will be orange juice with a snifter of garlic juice mixed in. Or, perhaps cranberry juice mixed with paprika. That way, I can mark my territory that much more effectively.

magnificentsynthesizer said:

you're so NAUGHTY! i love it when you talk dirty to me! tell me more about your uretha!

XxAxX said:

Um it's spelled "urethra", dumbass. And, my Mom is the only one I allow to be *that* intimate with me anyways. ALL my urethra talk is reserved for my Mommy.

magnificentsynthesizer said:

okay. didn't mean to step on any toes.

XxAxX said:

Apology accepted. But just so you know, I prefer to keep all my sex talk in the family

my handshake is firm but not douchey. i don't want to arm wrestle anyone, but by the same token i think the dead fish handshake is totally gross and i try to avoid that at all costs.

Isn't she all frail and shit?

magnificentsynthesizer said:

uh huh, right. i see.

it's spelled "urethra", dumbass.

didn't Godzilla fight him once?

I heard on the radio that Cindy McCain suffered a sprained wrist from a handshake

Are you one of these jackasses that must prove your manhood by breaking the hands of people you shake hands with? This absolutely drives me nuts and I want to smash your face in.