I can't be the only person who thinks that "The Jerk" is one of the best comedies ever...

If anyone here is a fan of the movie, please post your favorite lines from the movie.

I will start with a simple line:

"Oh, this is the best pizza in a cup ever. This guy is unbelievable. He ran the old Cup 'o Pizza guy out of business. People come from all over to eat this."


M. Emmet Walsh was responsible for one of my favorite lines in the movie though:

"Typical blocking of the view of a goddamned average victim bastard..."

...
[This message was edited Sat Nov 16 7:24:55 PST 2002 by IceNine]

IceNine said:

Um...

"HE HATES THESE CANS!!!" :LOL:

Navin, upon seeing a film of a man juggling cats:

"Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop!
Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a god that would let this happen? How much do you want?"

Great movie, but I can never remember lines from movies. So, I have nothing to add.

I was born a poor deprived black child with no rhythm.

"Ah yes, I have my temporary drivers licence, and my
astronaut application form. I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth. I didn't get the job."

I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in then evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

I've found my 'special purpose'!

cut!

You mean I'm gonna stay this color!

IceNine said:

'[singing] I'm picking out a Thermos for you! Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in!'

I'm picking out a thermos for you.
Not an ordinary thermos for you.
But the extra best thermos that you can buy,
With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in!
I'm picking out a thermos for you,
And maybe a barometer too,
And what else can I buy so on me you'll rely,
A rear end thermometer too.

I like when he reads the wet note in the bathtub.

BorisFishpaw said:

I often find myself singing this song at work.

SHIT, SHINOLA!!!

"The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it. Bye Grandma!"

"He hates these cans!"

"How far you going?" "To the end of this fence" "ok"-hops in

"all I need is this chari...and this painting..and this..."

"I was born a poor black child"

"The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it."

Enclosed is four dollars and seventy five cents for my loving family. P.S. Is grandma still farting?

"My friend Patty promised me a blow job."

"That Patty sure sounds like a sweet girl..."

Can you believe this? First, they didn't have the bamboo umbrellas for the wine, and now snails on the food!

"It's a lot of fun working and Mr. Hartounian is really nice. He's teaching me how to be impatient."

I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you.
I don't need anything except this ashtray and that's it
and that's the only thing I need, is this.
I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray.
And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need.
And this remote control.
The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control, and that's all I need.
And these matches.
The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball.
And this lamp.
The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need.
And that's all I need too.
I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this!
The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure.
Well what are you looking at? What do you think I am,
some kind of a jerk or something?
And this! And that's all I need.
The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
[This message was edited Sat Nov 16 14:20:19 PST 2002 by BorisFishpaw]

"Um, they might not be here, uh, exactly, uh, when you get back, but, uh, it's a blue Chevy two door and it will be going south on Hertatto street. No, I can't make out the license number but, uh, it will be pulling a small church. So any blue Chevy pulling a small church, I figure that'd be the one. Yeah, uh huh."