So I'm on youtube, checking out premieres of the new Batman flick, and along comes one of these comments where the person posting just wants to insult another person, but instead of the general comments, he uses the word "homo". When I'm at youtube, and I see someone post anti-gay slurs, I just write them a one-word sentence: Stop using the word ___ (homo, fag) to mean something negative..." But let me tell you what I thought about writing:

"You nasty little punk, we gay people are gettin' DAMN SICK AND TIRED of fuckwads like you using the word "homo" to mean something bad! You'd better be lucky that you're able to hide behind the security of your computer screen, or else maybe you'd be asked to meet someone somewhere, and had a bunch of queens waiting there to WHOOP YOUR IGNORANT ASS (AND THEN FUCK IT!). Catch a clue and grow your fucking ass up, you homophobic fuck!"

I didn't write that, because it's not worth getting into an argument with a person I'm most likely never going to meet. However, I thought I would share this here at the org, not only cuz there's at least several rainbow brothers/sisters (just like the sun, we rise) that have no doubt felt indignant at hearing these phrases, but also to shed a little light to the ones here that may use such slurs.

Saying "fag", "homo", or "that's so gay", when you're not gay, is just as insulting to a gay person as other slurs about race, gender, religion, etc. You may have heard someone downplay anti-gay slurs as being "no big deal" or "that doesn't mean what you're saying it means..." - but they ARE as big a deal (Blanche!) Maybe even moreso, because you can't always see if someone is gay, like you can with a person of color (though it sure does come in handy to wear your sexual orientation on your sleeve, cuz if they can see it, they are much less likely to say things knowing you're around; but not everyone is obvious, I reiterate.)

In other words, NAMES DO HURT! No one has the right to bandy about words and phrases like this unless you are what you are calling someone else (and even then, there's only marginal uses."

Imagine this scenario - you are someone who uses such slurs, and you say it in reference to someone, and there's a pre-teen or young teen who hears you say it. They have just come to grips with the possibility that they are different, and may not have the same sexuality as you - in fact, you're the first person they hear that word from, but they can guess what you mean, and what type of person you're talking about. You may have scarred that person permanently. I mean, sure, the kid's gonna hear it sooner or later, but wouldn't you rather avoid scarring someone by calling them out their name?

eaglebear4839 said:

Im afraid they do have the right its called freedom of speech but why do you even care?

I'm sorry that people are assholes.

Stymie said:

Especially the orgers that are assholes.

Mars23 said:

I started to say that but hey it could get you banned around here.

slippery slope, making rules about words.

the internet can be really nasty sometimes. I know whenever I see comments about Prince on youtube it's the same ignorant shit.

I was reading about Annika Sorenstam today and the comments were about how she was worthless, couldn't compete with the men, and (worst of all) really ugly!

You have to consider where some of these comments come from, and not bother to take them seriously, but the anonymity of the internet makes it harder. Maybe they are kidding but so much stuff just seems hateful & ignorant.

Sometimes I'm just not up for it all!

madartista said:

Slippery slope, lack of common respect.

Freedom of speech is one thing -but certain people seem to forget Responsibility of Speech is just as important.

meow85 said:

Amen

meow85 said:

It's easy to forget when the only balls you have are the ones you grew online.

I care, because in this case, there are a lot of people under 18 that use the sight, and kids can be cruel and thoughtless, just because they don't know or are not taught any better. I also care because people have the right to be called only what they want to be called. In other words, I don't have the right to call a person of color anything except what they choose to refer to themselves to - the old argument of "if it walks like a duck..." has never washed with me.

(Similarly, my father used to have this thing about wanting to call anyone that is of Spanish descent by one label - he couldn't grasp that just as people in Europe can be British, German, Italian, etc., people from south of the US Border can be Mexican, Guatemalan, Brazilian, etc. (boils down to an "you're different" argument.)

The point is that it's not fair to call someone by a label, without consulting with them first. Just as a Mexican person would not consent to being called a "beaner", I do not consent to anyone calling me "homo" or "fag". Now do you see why I care?

rolling said:

eaglebear4839 said:

Please, if someone wants to be offensive they arent going to ask your permission first are they "excuse me sir do you mind if I call you a fag". The fact of the matter is that the majority of straight people dont like gay people whether its because of a pariticular religion they follow or the way their parents brought them up. Thats just a fact of life maybe it will change with time who knows. Im personally so Glad Im straight and dont have to go through any of that shit.
[Edited 8/4/08 18:03pm]

i've been saying that's so ghey since i was in high school... that was #x of years ago.

Well, eaglebear, if nothing else your thread has proven that people will continue to be assholes or simply flaunt their ignorance when hiding behind their computer screen.

It is probably best to heed your own advice and ignore them. I would also suggest reporting anything you find offensive.

Stymie said:

meow85 said:

yes nobody denies a person's right to be an idiot, but we can still wish that people would not be such idiots

meow85 said:

It's the lack of respect that's the problem. That's why I'm not a fan of outlawing specific words. Say the online posters can't use the words anymore -- that in and of itself does not mean they now have respect. Any words can be hurtful when used without respect.

I have to admit that I am someone that has used 'gay' as a negative word. It's just from habit of learning it (who knows where - sure as hell not from my parents) when I was a kid - and at that time, I had no idea that it meant anything else but "lame".

So to this day, I find myself about to use it now and then. I understand that it hurts, understand totally now how it's offensive, so I try to stop myself from using it. I never use it to mean anything other than "lame" with it not having to do with actually being gay...but now as an adult, I realize that it started in the first place as an insult towards those who are gay.

Old habits can be hard to break, but I try!

I've run into situations exactly like that. I'm watching something online and then someone will use an gay slur and it's like "Fuck"

I've also had co-workers that I've grown pretty close to use the phrase "It was so gay. and as soon as it came out of their mouth they freaked. I didn't have to do or say anything but smile and continue listening to what they were telling me. They got it and I think they learned something.

It used to make me very angry, now it just makes me sad.

That's so gay that it hurts when somebody says that's so gay.

dannyd5050 said:

Well, on here, there's more awareness, and I've never had to report someone for that. That's a good thing. I also realize people will always be rude...as long as they feel like they have permission to do so...until enough people say "that's not cool", and then they quit. I didn't mean for the orig. thread to come off like a rant, but I have learned that sometimes I gotta put some umph behind my words, if I want them to be heard.

Mars23 said:

I had this experience a couple years ago, when I was a gay bar in San Diego - a couple young guys walked in, and I guess they realized where they were, either that or they planned to "happen to walk in" to the bar, but one of the guys suddenly exclaimed "oh, my God! Let's get the hell out of this gay-ass shit!"

Later on, I put this kid as the subject of a short story I wrote, where the bartenders and regulars had had to deal with this kid doing this a few times before, and they planned to block and close all exits the next time the kid came in like that again - basically he ran into his worst fear. There was no way the character could attack the bartender or the big old scary Leather Daddy that I added to the tale. I also put in a drag queen who was staring at a Jeff Stryker clone, and the thought bubble above the drag queen's head read: "what's her problem???". The "moral" of the story was "I don't care if you are a closet case...that ain't right."

NDRU said:

don't feed the trolls folks

This thread is so gay.

Volitan said:

don't be such a poofter

(I'm trying to sound like Guy Ritchie )

Volitan said:

your avatar is so gay.

dawntreader said:

Could be. But at least it's not fucking homo

Volitan said:

I heard other things

Volitan said:

I almost expect nothing less of you.