Reminds me of a girl I know, who wanted someone she trusted to decide if a relationship was right for her; as a child she was abused and learned to please her abuser quickly. The core problem she still struggles with is trust, vulnerability and acceptance.

It seems as if, for you, sex is enhanced by deep emotions. That's not unusual - a lot of people feel that way (me included).

What's rather unusual (I think) is that you do your own "emotional fluffing."

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

To clarify....I only enjoy domination in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom if someone tries to boss me around I want to kick their ass

NDRU said:

Well I'm not doing it to put me in a bad mood or to be disappointed. I don't know. I think maybe it's a way of stripping the crap we lay on top of our hearts. Like I'm going in raw and feeling as opposed to just being led by my dick.

Damn, I sound like I'm getting locked up and beat in a dungeon

I really didn't realize this was a pattern for me until maybe a couple months ago. When I know that I am about to have a sexual encounter with someone, before that takes place I like to listen to music that makes me sad and that makes me cry and that helps me feel my pain.

I am very connected to my pain and that is a part of my life that is easy for me to live in. I was trying to figure out what this is about. Am I trying to achieve a deeper level of intimacy? Why through tears and emotional outlet rather than the encounter itself? Sometimes the encounters have little to no emotional connection and other times I have an emotional connection with the man. Either way, I noticed that this is something I want to do before hand.

I am not in a relationship right now. What is this about? Any shrinks in the house?

Now for sure, I'll never have an org boyfriend

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

This might be too much information to place on the org. There are crazies out there.

They will cater to your every thing to get some....

.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

That is so very "A" personality.

What's your moon sign again ?

What's your moon sign again ?

Don't listen to:





What I think is that before you connect with someone on such an intimate and basic level you want to strip down and connect to something in you that is raw emotion. You've experienced so much pain in your life that it is most easily conjured. Now that you're concious of it, I wonder if you might be able to change it to connecting to other strong, basic emotions within yourself - like when you've felt the most loved, or the happiest or the most confident. Might be good to experiment

maybe you are so used to always having some lingering bit of sadness in you, that when things feel too good, you get a bit subconciously unconfortable and feel like things can't be this good

applekisses said:

Interesting. It doesn't make me feel bad, I guess it makes me feel more open in a way. I don't necessarily cry to happy songs but maybe I can try that. Like go in with self esteem boosters on

Mach said:

Libra

I'm Pisces, Libra Rising, Aries Descendent.

I was gonna ask if you could pull a card from your deck on this but I didn't know if it dealt with psychological issues or not

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I can see later if the cards would give you some insight - they might
( depending on the deck ) Never hesitate to ask me - you know that

Now I am of to drive to the post office to mail out Jersey's soap now that the sun has FINALLY dried it enough to ship it

Mach said:

Did anybody ever hear from Stu? I didn't

NDRU said:

I think I scare a lot of guys off because of the depth of my emotions. I mean I am not like crying when I have sex or anything like that but I'm very open about my feelings in general. But interestingly when I feel an emotional connection with a guy, I don't necessarily let them know I'm getting any emotional fulfillment when we are having sex.

I don't "like" to feel sad feelings but I've always been sad my whole life. Experiences have dictated that. I've had a lot to be sad over through the years. It's not where I want to be, but there is a comfort level in in being that I'm so familiar with it. does this make me a depressed person? I don't know.

I don't like pain but I do like domination.

Oh what the hell, I’ll take a crack at it.




You have a deep inner desire to connect with someone…. But you don’t feel those connections ever really take place on a healthy level. Men either don’t have the attributes you are looking for, or the ones that do simply seem out of reach. As a result, even though you love sex and have absolutely no issue separating sex and love, you ultimately seek to supplement the sexual encounter with something deeper. Something more profound… You would trade anything… any sexual encounter , to sit in a room with Mr. Right, who can understand you for who you are, and absorb your pain with you—to sit in a room and both bawl your eyes out together… connecting. In the end, you’d much rather it be about the heart and soul and not the penis. Seeking to merge those two always seems frustrating because they appear to be two negatively charged ends of a magnet repelling each other away.
It’s not the pain you’re addicted to. That’s just a pathway. What you’re trying to get towards is love. And, if it takes crying your eyes out to experience that deeper feeling… that more profound emotion that sex simply can not provide to you, then that’s what you do. You’re fragile at times, and at times scared. But your need for love is such that you’re willing to get burned in the fire searching for that warm, safe, place.

.
[Edited 8/6/08 11:36am]

Imago said:

you should be a counselor! This sounds so right to me! And it's not that they don't take place on a healthy level because I am not hooking up with guys that are abusive and stuff like that but it seems the connection doesn't take place at all. I want to love the hell out of someone I am attracted to and they just wanna fuck.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

The fact that someone isn't beating you (physically or emotionally) doesn't make the experience healthy for you. You're lacking something serious in these relationships and settling for a physical encounter when what you really want is for someone to love you.

If you were female, you'd be a teen pregnancy statistic.

Imago said:

you should be a counselor! This sounds so right to me! And it's not that they don't take place on a healthy level because I am not hooking up with guys that are abusive and stuff like that but it seems the connection doesn't take place at all. I want to love the hell out of someone I am attracted to and they just wanna fuck.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I know--it's one of my best posts ever. You can admit it.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I didn't