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Thread started 09/06/08 4:55am

rolling

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Lets talk about suicide!

Dark subject I know. Ive always believed that anyone is capable of suicide any person on this site is capable of it. You might read this and think no not me Id never take my own life, but lets look at suicide logically. Why do people commit suicide well you might think its for many reasons but in the end all it comes down to is one belief. People who commit suicide believe that is to say they have linked up in their mind that it would be more painful to carry on living than it would be to take their own lifes. This is also the reason why most people will never commit suicide because no matter how down they get they still link more pain to killing themselves than to carry on living its just a switch of belief nothing more nothing less.


How many people do you know in your own life who have commited suicide? I know 3 people they werent close friends or anything just people I have known all around my age and Im only 28. Recently about a year ago a girl who was from my town who was a heroin addict and working as a prostitute had thrown herself off a bridge onto a motorway where she was hit by 2 cars. The really scary part of the story I thought was how just before doing this she had been into a local newsagents a few seconds walk from where she killed herself and had asked the man who owned the store to kill her. Can you imagine being that man that would give me Knightmares for years.

I also bring up suicide because theres a film coming up on tv about it called the bridge I dont know if anyone has seen it? but its about people commiting suicide of a bridge in america and people who have physically stopped them or people who have tried to talk them out of it.
[Edited 9/6/08 4:56am]
LET A WOMAN BE A WOMAN AND A MAN BE A MAN
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Reply #1 posted 09/06/08 5:00am

Ocean

My uncle did last year sad ...it broke my heart but even more so my mums.....I carry his photo with me always ...he was only 57 ....I'm still angry at him ....angry that he saw that as the the better option..when there were so many others and he was loved....
Rest in peace Phillip ...I love you
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Reply #2 posted 09/06/08 5:17am

peacenlovealwa
ys

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I think people who commit suicide are ill....so you can't blame them if they commit suicide.
unlucky7 reincarnated
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Reply #3 posted 09/06/08 5:26am

ImAKawak

Some Become Tired And Self-Absorbed And Give Up Hoping
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Reply #4 posted 09/06/08 5:43am

MoniGram

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You are right, this is a very dark subject. In my lifetime so far I have known a total of 5 people. One being my Godfather/Uncle, one being my son's 'gf' and another being one of my son's best friends, and the other two were a friend from high school and a girl on my daughter's Pom squad.

Each one of them have their own reasons. sad I myself in my youth tried to take that option out, and I try not to judge the folks that think about it, or who have sadly gone through with it.

It does sadding me. The two friends of my son, the girl committed suicide because she thought her Mother was going to send her away...and it turns out she wasn't. The boy who committed suicide was bullied at school everyday he went there. sad Both these kids were only in middle school, the girl just in 6th grade. My Uncle hung himself because he was sick of being sick, and he felt he couldn't deal with treatment anymore, and he felt it was better to take his own life, then wait for God to slowly take it anyway. As for the girl on the Pom squad, she was the captain, popular, and beautiful, she killed herself because behind all that stuff, she was depressed and felt like she was a nobody!

Suicide can hit anyone, from any age, to any class of life. It's a very sad thing, and not only effects them but hurts the one's they love. My son still crys about his two friends, visits their graves every year on their birthdays. It's his way of healing.

But I can't give my own answer to why people do it. That's not my place, because I am not them.
Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian mushy
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Reply #5 posted 09/06/08 6:18am

Pochacco

Being self absorbed has absolutely nothing to do with it , thats a very ignorant thing to say
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Reply #6 posted 09/06/08 6:35am

JessieJ

I've known 3 people that have committed suicide, one being a classmate and two of them being relatives of mine.
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Reply #7 posted 09/06/08 7:22am

ImAKawak

Speaking From Personal Experience
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Reply #8 posted 09/07/08 10:56am

MarySharon

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MoniGram said:

You are right, this is a very dark subject. In my lifetime so far I have known a total of 5 people. One being my Godfather/Uncle, one being my son's 'gf' and another being one of my son's best friends, and the other two were a friend from high school and a girl on my daughter's Pom squad.

Each one of them have their own reasons. sad I myself in my youth tried to take that option out, and I try not to judge the folks that think about it, or who have sadly gone through with it.

It does sadding me. The two friends of my son, the girl committed suicide because she thought her Mother was going to send her away...and it turns out she wasn't. The boy who committed suicide was bullied at school everyday he went there. sad Both these kids were only in middle school, the girl just in 6th grade. My Uncle hung himself because he was sick of being sick, and he felt he couldn't deal with treatment anymore, and he felt it was better to take his own life, then wait for God to slowly take it anyway. As for the girl on the Pom squad, she was the captain, popular, and beautiful, she killed herself because behind all that stuff, she was depressed and felt like she was a nobody!

Suicide can hit anyone, from any age, to any class of life. It's a very sad thing, and not only effects them but hurts the one's they love. My son still crys about his two friends, visits their graves every year on their birthdays. It's his way of healing.

But I can't give my own answer to why people do it. That's not my place, because I am not them.



Why people do it? Because they feel they do not belong here. Because this world wasn't made for them. Because they're exhausted by life itself. Because they've been unlucky. Because they picture death as liberation, as relief, as "some other world"...

They also do it because they're lonely, very lonely... As Maya Angelou said: "Nobody, yet nobody, can't make it out here alone".

Thank you Mon for having shared with honesty your personal experience with us
rose
Is there any place of refuge one can flee from this insanity
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Reply #9 posted 09/07/08 11:32am

Lammastide

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Pochacco said:

Being self absorbed has absolutely nothing to do with it , thats a very ignorant thing to say

I know how it came off, but I think -- I hope -- ImAKawak means "self-absorbed" insofar as the perpetrator is so overwhelmingly steeped in their own present anguish, and the need of delivery therefrom, that they may consider other concerns as ancillary.

I don't think ImAkawak meant it in the sense of a greedy, spiteful-hearted selfishness, but rather a "can't see the forest for the trees" sort of thing.

I hope that seems less offensive to you.
[Edited 9/7/08 11:47am]
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #10 posted 09/07/08 11:52am

FunkMistress

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MoniGram said:

You are right, this is a very dark subject. In my lifetime so far I have known a total of 5 people. One being my Godfather/Uncle, one being my son's 'gf' and another being one of my son's best friends, and the other two were a friend from high school and a girl on my daughter's Pom squad.

Each one of them have their own reasons. sad I myself in my youth tried to take that option out, and I try not to judge the folks that think about it, or who have sadly gone through with it.

It does sadding me. The two friends of my son, the girl committed suicide because she thought her Mother was going to send her away...and it turns out she wasn't. The boy who committed suicide was bullied at school everyday he went there. sad Both these kids were only in middle school, the girl just in 6th grade.


Holy shit, that's scary.

sad

hug
CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.
The Normal Whores Club
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Reply #11 posted 09/07/08 12:14pm

alwayslate

I haven't personally known anyone that has done that. It's scary to even think about that.
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Reply #12 posted 09/07/08 12:21pm

FuNkeNsteiN

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rolling said:

Knightmares

hmmm






eek
It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.

- Lammastide
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Reply #13 posted 09/07/08 12:23pm

Imago

FuNkeNsteiN said:

rolling said:

Knightmares

hmmm






eek

falloff
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Reply #14 posted 09/07/08 12:23pm

rolling

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FuNkeNsteiN said:

rolling said:

Knightmares

hmmm






eek



falloff No I dont think so!
LET A WOMAN BE A WOMAN AND A MAN BE A MAN
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Reply #15 posted 09/07/08 1:37pm

Flowers2

I had one friend from online who committed suicide in Sept 2003. Nice dude, young was 31, none of his friends even suspected that he was that depressed cause whenever we saw him he was laughing (he was laughing with me 6 days before he did that)... but he wrote a letter to his mother and sister and said he was sorry for the mess he was about to cause, but he could no longer live with the pain of not having this woman he was in love with (she had another man).. and he sat in front of a webcam, took a bunch of pills .. another friend told me the authorities were looking for the person who was on the other end of the webcam (the woman? i dunno)... rose was very sad, and very least expected
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Reply #16 posted 09/07/08 1:41pm

JessieJ

FuNkeNsteiN said:

rolling said:

Knightmares

hmmm






eek

spit falloff
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Reply #17 posted 09/07/08 1:44pm

heartbeatocean

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Someone I knew very well did it in February 2007. I also have a close friend who is a survivor of suicide. Her daughter found her and got her to the hospital on time.

I've seen that movie if it's the one about the Golden Gate Bridge. Absolutely unforgettable, but very instructive at the same time. I'm surprised it would be on TV though, as it has actual footage of people jumping to their deaths.

rolling said:

no matter how down they get they still link more pain to killing themselves than to carry on living its just a switch of belief nothing more nothing less.


I know people who have been depressed but who stopped short of suicide simply because they believed it was wrong. It went against their spiritual beliefs. I have also heard of people who remembered someone who loved them at the last minute, and stopped short of suicide to spare this person the pain it would cause.
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Reply #18 posted 09/07/08 1:49pm

Serious

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A man who is living in the same house as I am living has committed suicide some weeks ago. His wife was one of my dad's closest friends. He was 84 I think and he was a lovely old man who seemed to be in great physical condition and was always being nice. I often thought it must be wonderful to be as fit as he is when you are that old sigh.
With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A....
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Reply #19 posted 09/07/08 1:52pm

Serious

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heartbeatocean said:

Someone I knew very well did it in February 2007. I also have a close friend who is a survivor of suicide. Her daughter found her and got her to the hospital on time.

I've seen that movie if it's the one about the Golden Gate Bridge. Absolutely unforgettable, but very instructive at the same time. I'm surprised it would be on TV though, as it has actual footage of people jumping to their deaths.

rolling said:

no matter how down they get they still link more pain to killing themselves than to carry on living its just a switch of belief nothing more nothing less.


I know people who have been depressed but who stopped short of suicide simply because they believed it was wrong. It went against their spiritual beliefs. I have also heard of people who remembered someone who loved them at the last minute, and stopped short of suicide to spare this person the pain it would cause.

Especially the later is a reason why I don't think I would ever consider committing suicide.
With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A....
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Reply #20 posted 09/07/08 2:04pm

heartbeatocean

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Serious said:

A man who is living in the same house as I am living has committed suicide some weeks ago. His wife was one of my dad's closest friends. He was 84 I think and he was a lovely old man who seemed to be in great physical condition and was always being nice. I often thought it must be wonderful to be as fit as he is when you are that old sigh.


Interesting. I wonder if he had planned it for some while and wanted to avoid getting old enough to watch his body fall apart.

I have a friend whose goal is to "die healthy". Which I find to be a little creepy since that's an oxymoron.
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Reply #21 posted 09/07/08 2:08pm

Muse2NOPharaoh

Pochacco said:

Being self absorbed has absolutely nothing to do with it , thats a very ignorant thing to say

Its not ignorant, its a perception. We all come complete with perceptions that can alter with experience and even reading topics like this.

Lighten up!

That said, for those on the living side of the coin, there is an element of selfishness thought to be a part of it. Take my girlfriend who was 5 and her sister who was 7: Their mother decided to check out whilst having them on visitation. So they pulled the body from the bath water and they have spent there lives trying to understand why she chose that moment over all the moments they were not present. Hardly ignorant for her to think her mom self absorbed.
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Reply #22 posted 09/07/08 2:18pm

Serious

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heartbeatocean said:

Serious said:

A man who is living in the same house as I am living has committed suicide some weeks ago. His wife was one of my dad's closest friends. He was 84 I think and he was a lovely old man who seemed to be in great physical condition and was always being nice. I often thought it must be wonderful to be as fit as he is when you are that old sigh.


Interesting. I wonder if he had planned it for some while and wanted to avoid getting old enough to watch his body fall apart.

I have a friend whose goal is to "die healthy". Which I find to be a little creepy since that's an oxymoron.

I have no idea why he did it. I am afraid to ask my neighbours or his wife about it boxed. He always seemed to be in a good mood while his wife (they were not divorced, but were not really practicing their marriage any longer for many years as far as I know) was complaining all the time about her health issues and telling me she wished she was dead already.
With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A....
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Reply #23 posted 09/07/08 2:23pm

Muse2NOPharaoh

Its a rough and sensitive subject. Ive never been down enough to contemplate taking my life but I have been down enough to see how one does feel that way.

2 thoughts.... If one is of depressed nature, i think it important to have a network of people in your life. Family, friends and or health care providers/clergy.. coworkers even. Isolation is bad in such states of mind. Even getting out and about and around people can help. That all said, I do realize it by far is not that simple and the nature of the complexity itself can prevent the above from occurring.

The other thought: If only the individual could see beyond the moment. Those I know whom have tried suicide in the low-eb of their lives but survived it, have gone on to find a way/path that they are thrilled to have an be alive in. It was work sure, but it brought them into a new place and joy.

I really mean to say, The maybe 2-5 bad years are replaced by the next 40. 40 they would not have known had they succeed in their attempt. Its that sense of hopelessness and despair that dominates in the moment.

In the moment!

There is a whole other category where depression is clinical and with the right therapy's, support and Meds even... one can find happiness. pray
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Reply #24 posted 09/07/08 2:42pm

rasplicious

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My ex brother in law committed suicide last week. We're not sure of the date yet but they found him on Friday.

It's a tough subject for me to type about right now.

All I can say for certain is that it's left everybody absolutely devastated. We all wish we'd done more; we all want it not to have happened. But he was very depressed and it wasn't his first attempt. He had tried earlier in the year to jump off a bridge but had survived but recently his attempts became more frequent. I really wish he'd been sectioned again but don't know why he wasn't.

I knew him from school - if you'd asked back then who was least likely to die in this way, I would have said Alan. He was very friendly, happy-go-lucky and just an all-round nice, entertaining guy. I would never have imagined him suffering from depression in later life.

Unfortunately I don't think he really ever had the security he probably needed - certainly not as a child. It's a lesson to us all to make sure the children of this world feel secure and cared for.

He leaves two children (my niece is one) and a lot of people who care about him and wish he was still with us. I am hoping the children will not be affected for the rest of their lives by this, but I fear the worst. I can't imagine how I would have felt if my father had done this, and how painful future events might be (special school days, weddings, parties).

I'm praying for him to feel our love and for that to help him heal in heaven.

God bless all those who've been affected by suicide.
pray
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Reply #25 posted 09/07/08 2:51pm

Flowers2

rasplicious .. so sorry to hear that rose
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Reply #26 posted 09/07/08 2:52pm

Serious

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rasplicious said:

My ex brother in law committed suicide last week. We're not sure of the date yet but they found him on Friday.

It's a tough subject for me to type about right now.

All I can say for certain is that it's left everybody absolutely devastated. We all wish we'd done more; we all want it not to have happened. But he was very depressed and it wasn't his first attempt. He had tried earlier in the year to jump off a bridge but had survived but recently his attempts became more frequent. I really wish he'd been sectioned again but don't know why he wasn't.

I knew him from school - if you'd asked back then who was least likely to die in this way, I would have said Alan. He was very friendly, happy-go-lucky and just an all-round nice, entertaining guy. I would never have imagined him suffering from depression in later life.

Unfortunately I don't think he really ever had the security he probably needed - certainly not as a child. It's a lesson to us all to make sure the children of this world feel secure and cared for.

He leaves two children (my niece is one) and a lot of people who care about him and wish he was still with us. I am hoping the children will not be affected for the rest of their lives by this, but I fear the worst. I can't imagine how I would have felt if my father had done this, and how painful future events might be (special school days, weddings, parties).

I'm praying for him to feel our love and for that to help him heal in heaven.

God bless all those who've been affected by suicide.
pray


pray rose
With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A....
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Reply #27 posted 09/07/08 4:06pm

heartbeatocean

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rasplicious said:

My ex brother in law committed suicide last week. We're not sure of the date yet but they found him on Friday.

It's a tough subject for me to type about right now.

All I can say for certain is that it's left everybody absolutely devastated. We all wish we'd done more; we all want it not to have happened. But he was very depressed and it wasn't his first attempt. He had tried earlier in the year to jump off a bridge but had survived but recently his attempts became more frequent. I really wish he'd been sectioned again but don't know why he wasn't.

I knew him from school - if you'd asked back then who was least likely to die in this way, I would have said Alan. He was very friendly, happy-go-lucky and just an all-round nice, entertaining guy. I would never have imagined him suffering from depression in later life.

Unfortunately I don't think he really ever had the security he probably needed - certainly not as a child. It's a lesson to us all to make sure the children of this world feel secure and cared for.

He leaves two children (my niece is one) and a lot of people who care about him and wish he was still with us. I am hoping the children will not be affected for the rest of their lives by this, but I fear the worst. I can't imagine how I would have felt if my father had done this, and how painful future events might be (special school days, weddings, parties).

I'm praying for him to feel our love and for that to help him heal in heaven.

God bless all those who've been affected by suicide.
pray


I'm sorry about this. My friend also left behind two young children and it's just devastating and difficult to understand. My other friend who attempted and survived, told me she thought she was doing everyone a favor when she did it. She had three young children and a husband and truly believed they were better off without her.

Though an enormous distortion of reality, this perspective helped me a lot in forgiving my friend who took his life last year. There were so many phases of grief. The loss is not as biting now, a year and a half later.

Peace to you and your family!
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Reply #28 posted 09/07/08 5:47pm

Amaxx

Depression can be very debilitating! I think I've standing on the very edge of it a few times where nothing but negative & dark thoughts are constantly racing through your head! It quite exhausting and that's when U start thinking whether it's worth staying alive. MarySharon's post brings up many valid points!
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Reply #29 posted 09/08/08 4:26am

rasplicious

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heartbeatocean said:

rasplicious said:

My ex brother in law committed suicide last week. We're not sure of the date yet but they found him on Friday.

It's a tough subject for me to type about right now.

All I can say for certain is that it's left everybody absolutely devastated. We all wish we'd done more; we all want it not to have happened. But he was very depressed and it wasn't his first attempt. He had tried earlier in the year to jump off a bridge but had survived but recently his attempts became more frequent. I really wish he'd been sectioned again but don't know why he wasn't.

I knew him from school - if you'd asked back then who was least likely to die in this way, I would have said Alan. He was very friendly, happy-go-lucky and just an all-round nice, entertaining guy. I would never have imagined him suffering from depression in later life.

Unfortunately I don't think he really ever had the security he probably needed - certainly not as a child. It's a lesson to us all to make sure the children of this world feel secure and cared for.

He leaves two children (my niece is one) and a lot of people who care about him and wish he was still with us. I am hoping the children will not be affected for the rest of their lives by this, but I fear the worst. I can't imagine how I would have felt if my father had done this, and how painful future events might be (special school days, weddings, parties).

I'm praying for him to feel our love and for that to help him heal in heaven.

God bless all those who've been affected by suicide.
pray


I'm sorry about this. My friend also left behind two young children and it's just devastating and difficult to understand. My other friend who attempted and survived, told me she thought she was doing everyone a favor when she did it. She had three young children and a husband and truly believed they were better off without her.

Though an enormous distortion of reality, this perspective helped me a lot in forgiving my friend who took his life last year. There were so many phases of grief. The loss is not as biting now, a year and a half later.

Peace to you and your family!


I'm so sorry for everybody who's had to deal with this, especially the children. Thankyou for typing about your friend's point of view.

I had an awful thought this morning, which made me feel a little guilty. His body is being identified today as he went away from home to do it. For a brief moment I was hoping (against hope really) that it wasn't him in the car and that somehow someone else had got his car and gone to this place he loved and been found dead. Isn't that terrible? It wasn't until it struck me that someone has died and whoever it is is a tragedy for somebody that I realised how selfish this thought was. I think it's probably what people call denial and this afternoon, when I get the call saying they've identified him, reality will start to sink in more.

But still, regardless of how personal this is to his family right now (and I'm only touched on the boundaries by it) it doesn't change the fact that he was loved and so are many countless of people who do commit suicide.

It's too late now for us to tell him that we do care and that it's important to us that he's in the world. If anybody knows of someone they feel needs to hear that, please tell them today.
[Edited 9/8/08 4:28am]
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