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Have you ever been in a relationship...that had an expiry date? strange right?
i was watching 'how i met your mother' (LOVE this show) and two characters were in a relationship that was very comfy and loving, but both characters (robin and dude who's kind of not really bob saget) were on totally different paths: the dude: architect the chick: journalist and they were going on and on about her traveling and how he'd move for her and how it really wouldn't work out and they're all talk.. they eventually broke up  but at one point they were OK with just being with each other in the moment and not thinking about the far future because, as fast as it's going, why spoil things in the now...
i guess i'm kinda feeling like that too being on a totally different path than my love, we both know where we're heading in as soon as 2 years... we don't know if we will be 'we' by then... but somehow we're not bothered by it, we speak about it openly and kind of daydream of where we'll both be in that time, whether it's together or off doing something important to us... i will be stressed uberly to the max when it comes down to decision time, but i can't really be too mad having the pleasure and the honour to spend time with such an awesome and beautiful (oh GOD is he ever) man... but it's the end that sucks... so i want to know, have any of you ever been in a relationship that had an expiry date? how did you deal with it? what do you think of it? are some of you that square that you would avoid it totally? or do some of you appreciate the now and live and love what is the present? [Edited 7/28/08 21:17pm] [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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hmmm.
The only things that come close for me is in Tech School in the military, I hooked up with a girl that lasted for about 4 weeks (my techschool was 7 weeks long plus a few weeks waiting on my first assignment out, but she was a few weeks behind me in her class). It was one of those situations where once she got her orders and they didn't match up to the same base or geographical location as mine (I was in Germany, and she went to Alaska I believe), I knew pretty much that it was over. But at that age (19 years old), I didn't really care as I really wanted to slut it up a bit. She, on the otherhand was rather heartbroken by this. (I heard later from folks who were assigned to my base after I arrived, that she actually went a bit slutty herself after I left
I guess knowing that the end is going to happen and that you're not in a permanent relationship can either be a blessing or a curse depending on what you REALLY want from that person at that time. | |
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I think we should live in the moment ...enjoy life and love ..let tomorrow take care of itself ....even if something wonderful were to end ....u still had that moment | |
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Ocean said: I think we should live in the moment ...enjoy life and love ..let tomorrow take care of itself ....even if something wonderful were to end ....u still had that moment
Girl, are you drunk again? | |
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Imago said: hmmm.
The only things that come close for me is in Tech School in the military, I hooked up with a girl that lasted for about 4 weeks (my techschool was 7 weeks long plus a few weeks waiting on my first assignment out, but she was a few weeks behind me in her class). It was one of those situations where once she got her orders and they didn't match up to the same base or geographical location as mine (I was in Germany, and she went to Alaska I believe), I knew pretty much that it was over. But at that age (19 years old), I didn't really care as I really wanted to slut it up a bit. She, on the otherhand was rather heartbroken by this. (I heard later from folks who were assigned to my base after I arrived, that she actually went a bit slutty herself after I left
I guess knowing that the end is going to happen and that you're not in a permanent relationship can either be a blessing or a curse depending on what you REALLY want from that person at that time. i think that's important perhaps its because i'm still fresh out of a long relationship that i'm not really looking for anything permanent which will never mean that i prevent myself from fully loving him - that would only be unfair to both of us really.. i think a lot of people when they find the one they love they expect at least a lifetime with them, and they they're shattered when it doesn't last that long... i guess my point of view is, it's not like you're willing the relationship to end, but not putting any importance into time can really even aid how strongly you let yourself feel about someone... i'm not sure if i'm making any sense, but it's been on my mind since that show and after discussing it even earlier with boy, it's a strange but simple thought...[...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Ocean said: I think we should live in the moment ...enjoy life and love ..let tomorrow take care of itself ....even if something wonderful were to end ....u still had that moment
 well put
if you see my last post, my thoughts are all in a whirl right now... i'm in such a strange mood [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: Imago said: hmmm.
The only things that come close for me is in Tech School in the military, I hooked up with a girl that lasted for about 4 weeks (my techschool was 7 weeks long plus a few weeks waiting on my first assignment out, but she was a few weeks behind me in her class). It was one of those situations where once she got her orders and they didn't match up to the same base or geographical location as mine (I was in Germany, and she went to Alaska I believe), I knew pretty much that it was over. But at that age (19 years old), I didn't really care as I really wanted to slut it up a bit. She, on the otherhand was rather heartbroken by this. (I heard later from folks who were assigned to my base after I arrived, that she actually went a bit slutty herself after I left
I guess knowing that the end is going to happen and that you're not in a permanent relationship can either be a blessing or a curse depending on what you REALLY want from that person at that time. i think that's important perhaps its because i'm still fresh out of a long relationship that i'm not really looking for anything permanent which will never mean that i prevent myself from fully loving him - that would only be unfair to both of us really.. i think a lot of people when they find the one they love they expect at least a lifetime with them, and they they're shattered when it doesn't last that long... i guess my point of view is, it's not like you're willing the relationship to end, but not putting any importance into time can really even aid how strongly you let yourself feel about someone... i'm not sure if i'm making any sense, but it's been on my mind since that show and after discussing it even earlier with boy, it's a strange but simple thought...
You been smokin' my weed? | |
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Imago said: sammij said: i think that's important perhaps its because i'm still fresh out of a long relationship that i'm not really looking for anything permanent which will never mean that i prevent myself from fully loving him - that would only be unfair to both of us really.. i think a lot of people when they find the one they love they expect at least a lifetime with them, and they they're shattered when it doesn't last that long... i guess my point of view is, it's not like you're willing the relationship to end, but not putting any importance into time can really even aid how strongly you let yourself feel about someone... i'm not sure if i'm making any sense, but it's been on my mind since that show and after discussing it even earlier with boy, it's a strange but simple thought...
You been smokin' my weed?
 sad thing is, today's the first day since tuesday that i've NOT smoked any 
seriously though, did that make sense? because i thought i wrote it out pretty well [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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just thinking about relationships in terms of 'expiration' reminded me of this wedding invitation:
morbid, i know, but dang. that was definitely a self-fulfilled prophecy. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Imago said: Ocean said: I think we should live in the moment ...enjoy life and love ..let tomorrow take care of itself ....even if something wonderful were to end ....u still had that moment
Girl, are you drunk again? It's to early yet 
Grr and Im not having any during the week now  | |
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stay on topic people! 
my invite picture counts [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Ocean said: Imago said: Girl, are you drunk again? It's to early yet
Grr and Im not having any during the week now | |
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I'll add more to the topic tomorrow. I'm knackered and need to get to sleep. | |
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 i don't even know if this will survive tomorrow.
living in the now  [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: Ocean said: I think we should live in the moment ...enjoy life and love ..let tomorrow take care of itself ....even if something wonderful were to end ....u still had that moment
well put
if you see my last post, my thoughts are all in a whirl right now... i'm in such a strange mood I think it's proberly better to never really have to think about forever or an ending ...even those that think they are going to have forever often fail so why invest in the stress that analysing it brings...  | |
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Imago said: Ocean said: It's to early yet
Grr and Im not having any during the week now | |
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Ocean said: sammij said: well put
if you see my last post, my thoughts are all in a whirl right now... i'm in such a strange mood I think it's proberly better to never really have to think about forever or an ending ...even those that think they are going to have forever often fail so why invest in the stress that analysing it brings... That's easy for you to say. If I had known how good those tim tams were, I would have paced myself and not devoured them that first week. | |
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Imago said: Ocean said: I think it's proberly better to never really have to think about forever or an ending ...even those that think they are going to have forever often fail so why invest in the stress that analysing it brings... That's easy for you to say. If I had known how good those tim tams were, I would have paced myself and not devoured them that first week. DANIEL! 
you're tired, off to bed! 
 you've already sealed the fate of this thread. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Ocean said: sammij said: well put
if you see my last post, my thoughts are all in a whirl right now... i'm in such a strange mood I think it's proberly better to never really have to think about forever or an ending ...even those that think they are going to have forever often fail so why invest in the stress that analysing it brings... you're right, my mother is always asking me what our plans are, as if we're getting married next summer 
i really first of all, have no intentions of marrying anyone... and that's almost a permanent feeling... i think even the anticipation of marriage can ruin something good (i've learned that anyway) i think when you put titles and limits and dates on relationships it can really spoil it
and then you have the perfect couples that plan everything and things work out right, wtf are they doing so well? [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Imago said: Ocean said: I think it's proberly better to never really have to think about forever or an ending ...even those that think they are going to have forever often fail so why invest in the stress that analysing it brings... That's easy for you to say. If I had known how good those tim tams were, I would have paced myself and not devoured them that first week.  But u have the memory of them ...while I still have them  | |
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sammij said: Ocean said: I think it's proberly better to never really have to think about forever or an ending ...even those that think they are going to have forever often fail so why invest in the stress that analysing it brings... you're right, my mother is always asking me what our plans are, as if we're getting married next summer
i really first of all, have no intentions of marrying anyone... and that's almost a permanent feeling... i think even the anticipation of marriage can ruin something good (i've learned that anyway) i think when you put titles and limits and dates on relationships it can really spoil it
and then you have the perfect couples that plan everything and things work out right, wtf are they doing so well? Fluking it | |
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Ocean said: sammij said: you're right, my mother is always asking me what our plans are, as if we're getting married next summer
i really first of all, have no intentions of marrying anyone... and that's almost a permanent feeling... i think even the anticipation of marriage can ruin something good (i've learned that anyway) i think when you put titles and limits and dates on relationships it can really spoil it
and then you have the perfect couples that plan everything and things work out right, wtf are they doing so well? Fluking it really though those relationships that last decades, where the couple always *seems* content with each other, mild tempered and just, right... what are they doing so right? could it really be just the success of living each day for the day and not for the future? are they investing enough of their experience in the 'now' to be able to spend it all on the 'future' ? [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: Ocean said: Fluking it really though those relationships that last decades, where the couple always *seems* content with each other, mild tempered and just, right... what are they doing so right? could it really be just the success of living each day for the day and not for the future? are they investing enough of their experience in the 'now' to be able to spend it all on the 'future' ? To be honest Im not sure...don't suppose even they are...is it just the right personalities ....is it the era in which they where brought up ....do we just not see the crappy times they have behind closed doors (I'm sure there are some)....Or do they just can't imagine life apart being better than life together  | |
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sammij said: Ocean said: Fluking it really though those relationships that last decades, where the couple always *seems* content with each other, mild tempered and just, right... what are they doing so right? could it really be just the success of living each day for the day and not for the future? are they investing enough of their experience in the 'now' to be able to spend it all on the 'future' ? I'm a child of divorced parents who've had multiple relationships during and after marriage. I'm very realistic about the term 'forever'in that it doesn't exist (but I believe in marriage-go figure) . I think couples last that long because they've learned to accept and each others flaws. They've learned to compromise. It takes a lot to allow and accept that some body will be in your face and space 24/7  | |
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honeypot69 said: sammij said: really though those relationships that last decades, where the couple always *seems* content with each other, mild tempered and just, right... what are they doing so right? could it really be just the success of living each day for the day and not for the future? are they investing enough of their experience in the 'now' to be able to spend it all on the 'future' ? I'm a child of divorced parents who've had multiple relationships during and after marriage. I'm very realistic about the term 'forever'in that it doesn't exist (but I believe in marriage-go figure) . I think couples last that long because they've learned to accept and each others flaws. They've learned to compromise. It takes a lot to allow and accept that some body will be in your face and space 24/7 that frightens me, you have no idea
and yet i can't stop spending as much time as possible with him - and he lives next door! i think it's because we know i'm moving in a few weeks so we're just enjoying it while it lasts...
it's funny that you still believe in marriage after no longer believing in forever
then again, marriage has nothing to do with forever anymore now does it? my parents are (strangely) still together after all these years... they were filing for divorce before me, and i guess they made up when they found out i was on the way 
i just really don't see the point in marriage, for me (and its just my  really) it's exactly like putting a "best before" date on some perishables
maybe i'll change my mind in the few years to come, but i haven't learned enough yet i reckon, but from what i have learned, it's not for me... [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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Ocean said: sammij said: really though those relationships that last decades, where the couple always *seems* content with each other, mild tempered and just, right... what are they doing so right? could it really be just the success of living each day for the day and not for the future? are they investing enough of their experience in the 'now' to be able to spend it all on the 'future' ? To be honest Im not sure...don't suppose even they are...is it just the right personalities ....is it the era in which they where brought up ....do we just not see the crappy times they have behind closed doors (I'm sure there are some)....Or do they just can't imagine life apart being better than life together *being an advocate of sorts here* is that not just the honeymoon phase? [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: Ocean said: To be honest Im not sure...don't suppose even they are...is it just the right personalities ....is it the era in which they where brought up ....do we just not see the crappy times they have behind closed doors (I'm sure there are some)....Or do they just can't imagine life apart being better than life together *being an advocate of sorts here* is that not just the honeymoon phase? No ...I don't think so ....not at all ...I think the honeymoon stage is more about butterflies and excitment | |
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Ocean said: sammij said: *being an advocate of sorts here* is that not just the honeymoon phase? No ...I don't think so ....not at all ...I think the honeymoon stage is more about butterflies and excitment interesting  ....[...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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FOREVER DOES NOT EXIST.
Discuss. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: FOREVER DOES NOT EXIST.
Discuss. Forever does not exist for everyone..... And even those die one day | |
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