I am laying here on the beach condo couch, the last night of my four night stay in Myrtle Beach, my family's annual vacation destination. The Matrix Reloaded is on and, yes, even in a different loaction is still sucks. The ocean is on one side of me, all dark and mysterious. My wife and two girls are all sleeping and snoring, tired from a activity loaded trip. And I am enjoying the free wireless internet access that I will have for one more day, when I shall return to my dial-up world back home. Some random thoughts:

1) I have swam upwards of 25 hours over the last four days, most of the time holding my three year old who can actually stand up in the three feet now. My 6 year old actually spent more time with vacation friends she just met from Ohio and Pennsylvania then she did with me. They grow up fast.

2) I still enjoy diving in really big waves right as they break just as much as I did when I was 10. Except they hurt a lot more now.

3) We ate a seafood buffet tonight. It was $24.99 because they had crab legs but I don't eat seafood so I ate $24 worth of chicken fingers, hush puppies, and bread. I don't feel so good.

4) I saw an episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" on our first day down. I loved that show when I was a kid but damn if it doesn't seem really cheesy and horribly acted now. It was also one of those episodes where Gray Coleman was renegotiating his contract or something so the rest of the cast had to carry it for 27 minutes and then they called Arnold, who was at some relative's farm or something. The episode was about whether Kimberly was going to go to some ski lodge and lose her virginity or something and, in light of all the things that happened to Ms. Plato, was rather sad overall.

5) Speaking of TV, I find that I enjoy watching the channels that talk about all the stuff you can do at the beach more fun than the beach itself. Does that make me old or just boring?

6) The Disney Store should either not be allowed to exist or else all salaries of people with children under 10 should be increased immediately by 10%. I would vote for whichever presidential candidate puts that into effect.

7) Me and my wife are by far the most attractive couple staying in this particular hotel.

8) I have been to Myrtle Beach at least 30 times in my life. When I was a kid we went every year. My parents would stop at the first hotel that had a vacancy sign. It seems like, in my memory, every place had the word "dunes" in it. A lot of times they weren't oceanfront and there would be shoe sized roaches in them and I would get horrible sunburns that would make me feel like absolute crap. God, those were wonderful days.

9) There are so many Europeans here. I just find it surreal that people in Europe know what Myrtle Beach is.

10) I am crossdressing again. I ran out of shorts to sleep in and my wife had brought some of her maternity laying around shorts and said I could borrow them. They feel really nice.

Guess I'll go You Tube some stuff since that is virtually impossible to do with dial up. I wish I would have videotaped my three year old flying the amusement park airplane by herself, the determined look on her face as that plane flew in the air, seemingly at her command. That will be one of those things that sticks with me, that I'll tell her about when she gets older and she'll deny it vehemently.

Who needs You Tube when you have memories?

Sounds Great!
Did you hit the waterparks?

#3 - Better lay off the carbs or you won't be able to fit your wife's clothes anymore, then what will you do?

#7 - Well Duh!

Why do you have a platypus for a avatar?

littlemissG said:

No water parks this time even though they look great on Beach TV. Maybe when the girls get older.

Sometimes my avatars are so mysterious and obsucre that I don't even get them.

I haven't been to Myrtle in a while. I wanna go to the Hard Rock Park. It just opened.....I'm sure it was packed. I heard some lady paid at least $1000 for her family to be the first ones on the Led Zeppelin ride. Hope it was worth it. Wonder why they chose Myrtle as the place for the park

There's a Diff'rent Strokes marathon on now.

It was so sad leaving this morning. We took a last walk on the beach and about all of us were close to tears. Not trying to be overdramatic but I get one or two trips a year, max, and leaving is always so hard.

But we're back home now and God I am glad to see our house again. And it will be nice to sleep in my bed again. And I have a lot more channels on my cable than the beach TV had. And "Big Brother 10" starts tonight so I'm good.

AnckSuNamun said:

Hard Rock Park looked alright but not worth the price. Myrtle Beach is about as tacky a place as there is, perfect for the Hard Rock franchise.

AnckSuNamun said:

I hate the last season with that red-headed boy Sam and Dixie Carter on it. Every single sitcom I ever loved did that, brought in the extraneous cute kid to extend a show obviously going through it's last stages. Either that or Ted McGinley.

I'm guessing you didn't hit Thee Doll House, but were the Chairmen of the Board playing at the club next door?

RodeoSchro said:

Um...all I can say is there are many many Myrtle Beach related experiences one can have and mine was rated G.

Last thing. Not to go into too much detail but the plumbing facilities absolutely sucked at my hotel. Everytime I had to use the potty, I felt like I was about to reinact that overflowing toilet scene from that Ben Stiller movie with Jennifer Aniston. And the room had no plunger so it could have gotten very very ugly.

See these are the things you have to tell yourself to convince yourself you are happy a vacation is over.

Gotta go back to work tomorrow. That completely sucks. I need another week.

GottaLetitgo said:

Funny. I went there a few times growing up and as a kid I noticed all the Europeans. It seemed odd to me then. And, yes, I sunburned just about every time as a kid. We weren't so much worried about sunburn and skin cancer in those days. Still, vivid memories associated with that place and passing South of the Border along the way. Each and every time I would beg my mom to stop so we could get fireworks, and each and every time she'd say, "Hell no! What for? So you can blow a finger off your hand?"

The other memory is a sea gull shitting on me as a ran along the beach. Lovely.