ZombieKitten said:

They do give some benefits to married ppl like on their insurance and taxes.

Co-sign the things Funkmistress said. And sorry about calling Chris a slob.

shanti0608 said:

Yes they do BUT sometimes thats not enough . I can't speak for Alien but there a lot of programs geared towards low income families that would not be available if the family was headed by a two parent income. And no I'm not talking about people who don't need a handout I'm talking about a married couple who has kids and may need assistance through welfare or housing assistance but can't get the help because the combined income is considered 'liveable' when in reality it isn't. So most women remain unwed but remain in serious relationships. It keeps father's out of the home.

Fauxie said:

you ass.

JerseyKRS said:

I'm sorry Chris. That you were there, that's the important thing, making that commitment to be together for the rest of your lives or however long it lasts. Many can't make that commitment, but you did. Who cares if you don't dress appropriately for the occasion? It's not 'The Man' who's going to be there in the relationship through thick and thin. You really stuck it to him, and to Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, and all the other fascists who advocate dressing smartly and stylishly.

JerseyKRS said:

I'm sorry Chris. That you were there, that's the important thing, making that commitment to be together for the rest of your lives or however long it lasts. Many can't make that commitment, but you did. Who cares if you don't dress appropriately for the occasion? It's not 'The Man' who's going to be there in the relationship through thick and thin. You really stuck it to him, and to Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, and all the other fascists who advocate dressing smartly and stylishly.

Sowhat said:

I got bruised, and sprained my wrist and ankle because we were front row at an Alkaline Trio concert. I'm tough!!

with so many marriages not working out and marriage being based on whether it will last or not, I think it's becoming an old fashioned idea. I also do not believe marriage is compulsory to one's well being. I mean it's nice to grow old with someone and have a companion, but is it worth it if one tries to dominate the other and fight for power? And happiness should not come from someone else, it has to come from you. I don't believe in making sacrifices for someone else at all and having to give up anything about myself or what I've worked for. Yes I am very selfish like that and would make a shitty wife, so no, it's not for me at all. It's just a piece of paper that gets you benefits for the future. I know too many people who are either divorced from power issues or even physical abuse, or have irrational partners they are always arguing with, and as a woman, I do not deserve any of that extra stress and would just be digging my own grave if I got married.

I don't mind the idea of having kids and can see myself adopting when I'm in my 30's if I'm financially stable. I kind of want the kids to look related to me though, so maybe I would go to a sperm bank so I could give birth the natural way.
[Edited 7/28/08 10:50am]
[Edited 7/28/08 10:51am]
[Edited 7/28/08 10:52am]

alphastreet said:

So is it your plan to have children without a male partner?

JustErin said:

yeah maybe, but not until I'm at least in my mid 30's and more emotionally mature than now, I'm only 25.

Yes I am very selfish like that and would make a shitty wife, so no, it's not for me at all

With so many people getting divorced these days is marriage important anymore. I mean take a look at Kurt russell and Goldie Hawn they have been together over 20 years and have never got married. I think the days of really long marriages are over like our parents and grand parents had in there days. Personally I dont think its a natural thing to be with the same person for so long you naturally are going to get bored. Although dont get me wrong I believe a family environment with a mother and father is the best thing for a child. It might just be the fact that are grand parents put far more effort into there marriages Oh I dont know what do you think???

rolling said:

..... ..... ..... ..........FUCK MARRIAGE....it is not the "title" of being married that will give your relationship success...it is THE WORK!!

Without the work...or Commitment....no relationship will work!

amorbella said:

It's not just a piece of paper to me.

To me it is a concrete promise, a leap of faith in action. When I called Chris my boyfriend, it felt so fleeting. Theoretically I could have ten more boyfriends after him if I wanted. But when I call him my husband, it feel so much more right. It's permanent, and that's what I want our relationship to be. When I married him I was saying "This is it for me. I am making a solid commitment to loving you and only you for the rest of our lives."

It says that even though we see failed relationships and misery all around us, we believe in this partnership with such ferocity that we are willing to promise to put in the work of constantly building it into a strong, happy marriage. That neither of us will ever leave no matter how hard it gets. The security that brings is indescribable when you know it is the truth.

For some people those promises are unnecessary, and that's fine. For us, it was something we felt was necessary.

I mean, I don't have a college degree. I consider myself relatively intelligent and fairly educated. I don't believe a college degree makes you smart.

But I know plenty of very smart people with college degrees, and their education played a big role in their lives. I wouldn't tell them FUCK YOUR COLLEGE DEGREE just because my path didn't take me in the same direction as theirs.

Know what I mean?

ZombieKitten said:

They do give some benefits to married ppl like on their insurance and taxes.

shanti0608 said:

Yes, they do. However, most married couples can afford housing, cars, maxed out credit cards and kids. The bigger the family the more you will spend in the economy, the bigger house you'll get and the more you'd use. The average single person can't contribute as much to the economy. Most families have loads of bills and it feeds the banks. Hell America is financing the war off International Credit and slipping us portion of the bill in taxes. America pushes marriage as if it's a moral value but in essence, it needs more money to be spent in order to grow the economy...in order to keep it moving. For instance, look at all the damn holidays and birthdays we have. Everytime you turn around, there's a holiday and it's pressed on us so we can spend more. Marriages easily fail because it's built on nothing and the act of always needing to supply your family with more "stuff." People go into it like it's all for love and it's not. It should be and it should be for a family. But the pressures of serving and day to day bullshit, poisons us.

This is why I'm so admirable of people who have stayed married 30-40 years. It can be done. America just has made it harder with putting invisible expectations on the common family.

.
[Edited 7/29/08 7:29am]

AlienX2050 said:

I have lived in the US and UK. I see families fall into the spending trap in both countries.
No one is forcing ppl to run up their credit cards on frivolous toys.
Humans just tend to want what everyone else has and it is easier to buy a child a toy at the store than to hear it cry and use some discipline.

shanti0608 said:

This is exactly true and loaning institutions know this. This is why we're easily targeted with commercials. Hell, I'm starting to see Halloween and Xmas advertising.
.