CarrieMpls said:

Nooooo! Friend zone!!!!!

absolutely. but i am terrified of ever getting divorced.

FunkMistress said:

That's sweet he's going to make the effort to look nice for Dan.

I mean you.

evenstar3 said:

yeah, i would hate to get divorced. i would also hate to have a loveless marriage.

evenstar3 said:

Come stay with us. I'm thinking about starting a DOOM version of one of those religious nut job cults. There'll be no divorce, I promise. Or leaving the compound.

Fauxie said:

will there be kool aid and nikes involved?

Fauxie said:

JasmineFire said:

Doubtful, but there will be filthy, demeaning sex and then periods of intense loneliness and detachment. And dress down Fridays when Laurel can ditch the special outfits.

Fauxie said:

oh heavens. please don't take that as flirting. I mean, you're married.

CarrieMpls said:

I'm currently married, yes.

Fauxie said:

and thai food? i'm in!

yes, I do...
a marriage is a sum of lots of lil' parts...folks that think love will overcome all are the ones that usually end up divorced...love, atleast in my opinion, is only one of those lil' parts and it's no more or less important than the rest of the other lil' parts...a marriage takes commitment, compromise, respect, etc...it can be hard, easy, happy, sad...you get the picture...marriage can be alot of work and it aint for lazy folks....

evenstar3 said:

Of course.

Fauxie said:

what sort of special outfits will i be sporting?

evenstar3 said:

I think Mon has in mind a few, like filthy Patpong pole dancer, filthy Thai policewoman, filthy Thai Airways stewardess, and I'm considering filthy Thai immigration officer. I could get a bit out of control with that last one so I should warn you now.

I do believe in it. My parents have been married almost 38 years. And, they've worked through it and worked at it. And, prayed. And, prayed some more. And, bickered and argued. And forgiven. And, prayed some more...

It's work. After all the butterflies and dreams and rough patches. It's straight-up work.

ThreadBare said:

..which is why I'll never walk that aisle. That lifestyle is not for me.

ThreadBare said:

i think there's more to it then just work. if it was only work then no one would even bother.

JasmineFire said:

Oh, absolutely. I like how they've matured and grown together. It's an awesome thing to behold. I've seen it in their marriage, as well as in my aunts & uncles', my grandparents' and a few friends'.

I'm sure there's something cool about looking across a table, decades later, and going: "I love that woman... still.... especially now that we've gotten rid of all her cats..."

Yup, I don't think it's funand games in happyland all the time, but I think it works for those who make it work.

ThreadBare said:

My parents just had their 40th anniversary and I agree 1000% with everything you said.


Like the old joke goes...

Grandpa, What's the secret to staying married so long?

You don't leave and you don't die.

ThreadBare said:

...only to replace them with better and stronger cats...

when i first read your post i thought it said, "i like how they've mutated and grown together"

one thing about the whole "believe in marriage" issue that has always confused me is how can you not believe in something that so clearly exists. Marriage is not like Santa Claus, it's an actual institution. That's like saying you don't believe in shoes.

JasmineFire said:

There is more to it than that, but I think there's the perception by some that it shouldn't be as much work as it is. That's just foolishness. My parents have worked hard to stay together. Compromise, understanding, give and take. That's work. But it also comes with being in love.
[Edited 7/24/08 20:38pm]

Fauxie said:

i need a police baton to be an immigration officer. and latex gloves, too.

At my stage of life, I honestly can't see any use for it. If there were kids involved, a traditional 'partnering' of families, a certain role to play in society, or for legal benefits...yeah okay,

But my family is incredibly disjointed, my boyfriend's family is as nuts as mine, and the whole idea of extended family makes me cringe. And I'm already comfortable as a societal maverick.

If I got married, I would do so with the distinct possibility of getting divorced at some point in time. But I already was married and divorced once, so I don't need that "life experience". The paperwork!

heartbeatocean said:

That's a good thing. You recognize that you don't want marriage and hopefully you'll never act contrary to your convictions.

ThreadBare said:

But do you need to get married to have all those things? Are we equating marriage with long term relationships and commitment?

JasmineFire said:

Also legal in California and Canada.

Sweeny79 said:

That's it. My great-grandparents were like that. My great-grandfather telling me his story about marrying my great-grandmother probably made me the romantic I am today. And even at the end of their life together, in their late-90s, when they were still fussing and putting up with each other (like the Kane-Crystal couple in "The Princess Bride"), the love was apparent.

heartbeatocean said:

I am. Not saying it doesn't occur outside of that. But, for me, I plan on marrying the woman with whom I hope to have that.