My Mother was diagnoised with cancer back in November of '07 and shes not been able 2 get any form of treatment as shes been having 2 go 2 the hospital 4 other reasons ! As she is sick from COPD and Asthma ! Well she was suppose 2 start getting radioation (sp ?) treatments starting this Monday. Now shes having trouble breathing and is coughing and spitting up blood ! The point of my thread is if U have been here or currently going through a friend or familes sickness ? How do U handle the emotions ? I have been so fucken down that all I wanna do is drink the pain away with a gallon of Jack Daniels and cut myself tell I bleed all the fuck over the place! Yes I know thats a whole diffrent thread ! I just am so confused and wanna be the best son that I can be 4 my Mother. I am fucken scarred and am worried and do not know how 2 deal with it all ! Any and all help will be greatly appreciated !
[Edited 7/24/08 15:06pm]

just keep praying for her to get better. just remember the orgnote i sent u today.
I will for ur mom to get well.

Rich, I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your family.

Medical illnesses at any age are BEYOND frustrating because of the very feelings of helplessness that you begin to describe.

You need a support network. I don't know your situation, but trying to get through all this alone will be exhausting physically, emotionally and spiritually.

You need a support network. I don't know your situation, but trying to get through all this alone will be exhausting physically, emotionally and spiritually.



See thats just it I do not have anyone 2 help me out ! I have no close freinds or family close by 2 help me ! My closest family sucks and I could care less if they even call or show up 4 anythang ! But hey thanx ! Org Love works and thats kinda what I am lookin 4 !
[Edited 7/24/08 16:18pm]
I messed it up put props 2 Star and Joy !
[Edited 7/24/08 16:20pm]

My own mother has been quite ill for the past year, so I understand the emotional rollercoaster on which you're riding, as well as the feelings of frustration and helplessness.

Nothinbutjoy is correct in her wise advice about establishing a support network for yourself. During this time you need to stay as strong in all areas as you possible can for your mother -- but if you have no outlet for your emotions, time to recharge, or help shouldering the burden(s) that come with serious illness, you will crumble.

Speak to your own doctor about what's happening and how you are feeling - s/he can help point you in the right direction to find help in regards to your own emotional wellbeing, perhaps by suggesting support groups consisting of others who are undergoing similar circumstances. Support groups can be tremendously valuable.

Don't be afraid of asking family members for help when you need a break, or to let family and friends know when you are feeling particularly fragile and depleted and are in need of extra words of comfort or encouragement, or to be told a good joke.

Lastly, distraction and reminders of the happiness to be found in living are extremely important right now so as to give balance, so that you can handle the other stuff; you cannot function, or stay sane, living 100% of the time in worry and fear, or in a state of powerlessness. Make time for your favourite hobbies, to just relax and to rest, and especially, to do things which recharge you spiritually and mentally - simple, life-affirming activities where there is laughter and joyfulness, and you feel tapped into the lifeforce which connects us all. This is more profoundly healing and fortifying than you might think.

Your mother and you will be in my thoughts, my friend.

I'll call you and send you Prince music.

WillyWonka said:

Thanx and I like 2 draw,paint,garden,andjam Prince and of course Give Praise 2 my Lord ! Thank U 4 the words of wisdom and I will take em ! As I need em !

WillyWonka said:

I totally agree. Reach out to people to listen to you and support you, it's so hard to deal with such a situation anyway .

Stymie said:

It better be sum good funk as I have alot ! Whats on the menu ! Love ya "Stymie"

Thanx Serious I need all the help that I can get as this will be the toughest stuff I have ever had 2 go through in my life !

IrrisistableRich said:

That makes it very tough, but that is why I used the term "support network" instead of family. I know that not everyone can rely on their family in tough times.

Look into what resources the hospital she goes to has. In some cases they will assign a social worker to help coordinate care and help you connect with people who you will be able to rely on.

Also, tell people what you need. Help is out there.

i went through my mom's final days last year. at the end, i was changing bed sore dressings, dispensing all kinds of medicines, wiping her after bowel movements, dressing her for dialysis...everyday she told me how much she appreciated what i was doing for her. that's what keeps me going today--knowing i did all i could do and she appreciated it. do what you can to help her, the dividends at the end far outweigh the short-term stress you're going through.

good luck.
Fury

Fury said:

Oh snap ! Thanx and sorry 4 your loss ! I sit back and reflect that she went through 36 hours given birth 2 me and the rest of my 42 years rasing me ! So I feel like and do wanna do the best that I can 2 take care of her untell the Good Lord decides that He/She needs her in the Kingdom ! God Bless U Fury that was a close 2 home post and I appresiate it !

I will keep u in my prayers. I was with my Mom the last 4 months of her life. We had just purchased a new home for her bcuz our previous house was a 2 story and she couldn't take going up/down the stairs anymore. The whole 4 mos she was in the new house, we were going back & 4th to the hospital. She had stomach cancer & refused chemo cuz she watched how her own Mom suffered thru that. I had 2 take care of her like she took care of me when I was a baby. Bathe her, feed her, change her, help her in & out of her wheelchair,etc. I won't sugar coat it 4 u. it will get hard most timez & u feel like nomatter what u do - u can't even ease her pain less known stop it. but keep talking 2 her & pray 4 her/with her. listen 2 music 2gether that she likes. Above all - tell her how much u love her all the time. Maybe some of her friendz can cme over to b with u and help u out if there r any that u like. u really do need support. My Mom went home to the Lord in Aug. 2001 & I still wonder if I did all I could to make her as comfortable as possible. I do thank God that He let her tell me she loves me 1 last time b/4 she drifted off. I hold onto those words. I'm glad u have such goods friendz here on the org. it sounds like they love u & sppt u. Pray for guidance and peace for your Mom. I will do the same for u.