Ocean said:

I have to disagree.

We have four kids, jobs, chores, legal issues, family issues, health problems on both our parts, bills, cooking, cleaning, etc. For me, that never interferes with how attractive I find the person I love, or how much I enjoy being with him. And he is the same way. It's just a part of every moment, regardless of whatever else those moments include, instead of something I feel I need to squeeze in to the schedule around everything else. There are ways to show affection all the time - a squeeze or a kiss or a crotch-grab while you're passing each other on the way from the laundry room to the mop bucket, or a quick blowjob in the closet before leaving for work (not kidding! ) You can talk to each other while you're in the car driving the kids somewhere, and make each other laugh during pretty much any mundane family activity.

I'm not even trying to compare my situation with yours, or saying I'm better than anyone else, or any of that bullshit. I'm just pointing out that it's in no way impossible to fit romance in. I just don't buy it when people say that marriage and family life somehow inherently deters a healthy sex life or partners finding each other attractive and exciting. It takes both people to be aware and interested, but it's possible for that spark to continuously, uh, sparkle? My words are running out; it's late.
[Edited 7/21/08 22:55pm]

FunkMistress said:

you two are STILL IN LOVE though
if I had only just hooked up with my guy a year ago or whatever, different story.
14 years down the track and it's OLD.

FunkMistress said:

you two are STILL IN LOVE though
if I had only just hooked up with my guy a year ago or whatever, different story.
14 years down the track and it's OLD.

OK, now this may not be a popular opinion, but it is what I think.

BEFORE marriage, the head is like a pre-payment for all the the expectations she has of you, which she is confident you will meet, cause you aren't like all the other guys.
After kids and marriage, she is finding out how it really is. She doesn't initiate sex as much anymore because she is way too tired from picking up your slack. She'll have sex with you, it doesn't require that much effort and doesn't take up much time. In fact if you even bring up why she won't go down on you, you will probably only remind her of how much she resents her situation - which, if she complains about it, will earn her the label of nagging wife, she can't win.

How about, do some stuff around the house, organise your parents to take the kids over the weekend, tell her not to cook, you're bringing something home with you. Etc. THIS is sexy, you will suddenly become way more sexy, like magic! She will probably suck your dick without you even asking again once she realises you would go out of your way for her, and SHE is special to you.

Simple!

She used to suck your cock as a way to get you to like her. Now that she's snagged you she no longer has to do things she never really liked to do in the first place....like head.

I feel for you man. That's a nasty thing to do to a person, pretend to be into something they are not into.

But from what I hear from guy friends, women do it all the time. I'm sure...no I know you're not alone in this.

JustErin said:

Men do it all the time too.

Okay so when my wife and I were dating she gave head all the time, even volunteered much of the time,,it was great. After we married, I had to ask and she would do it, but not with the same enthusiasm. After our first child, head came to a screeching halt...and now after 7 years of marriage, head is all but a thing of the past. Why do women change like this? I know Im not the only one who has experienced this change.

jaimestarr79 said:

that has happened many times and he simply backs out of the room with a mumbled apology

WTF!!!!

ZombieKitten said:

Say wha?.....

Some fuckin' guys don't know what they have.... Is there anything sexier than watching a woman masturbate? I think not.....

As for the getting head thing....my wife never liked doing it....so she doesn't do it...EVER... what in the hell is wrong with me?

I have to disagree.

We have four kids, jobs, chores, legal issues, family issues, health problems on both our parts, bills, cooking, cleaning, etc. For me, that never interferes with how attractive I find the person I love, or how much I enjoy being with him. And he is the same way. It's just a part of every moment, regardless of whatever else those moments include, instead of something I feel I need to squeeze in to the schedule around everything else. There are ways to show affection all the time - a squeeze or a kiss or a crotch-grab while you're passing each other on the way from the laundry room to the mop bucket, or a quick blowjob in the closet before leaving for work (not kidding! ) You can talk to each other while you're in the car driving the kids somewhere, and make each other laugh during pretty much any mundane family activity.

I'm not even trying to compare my situation with yours, or saying I'm better than anyone else, or any of that bullshit. I'm just pointing out that it's in no way impossible to fit romance in. I just don't buy it when people say that marriage and family life somehow inherently deters a healthy sex life or partners finding each other attractive and exciting. It takes both people to be aware and interested, but it's possible for that spark to continuously, uh, sparkle? My words are running out; it's late.

FunkMistress said:

Amen

And also for us old ( age and yrs spent together ! ) couples ya know it's not always about the falling apart and breaking down of a relationship it CAN be just the oppisit A healthy active sex life is important to us and we make sure we invest into exactly that

Mach said:

Thank you!



I wish I had a dollar for every long-married couple who rolls their eyes at the way we are with each other and tells us "wait, in a few years you won't be able to stand the sight of each other." I can't wait to prove them all wrong.

Look, I'm not saying I don't understand that relationships change and grow in sometimes unexpected ways over the years. I'm thirty years old and was in an 8-year relationship before I met Chris. I'm not a starry-eyed child. I also know it doesn't have to mean boredom and the death of romance and sexy time.

Mach said:

Thank you!



I wish I had a dollar for every long-married couple who rolls their eyes at the way we are with each other and tells us "wait, in a few years you won't be able to stand the sight of each other." I can't wait to prove them all wrong.

Look, I'm not saying I don't understand that relationships change and grow in sometimes unexpected ways over the years. I'm thirty years old and was in an 8-year relationship before I met Chris. I'm not a starry-eyed child. I also know it doesn't have to mean boredom and the death of romance and sexy time.

ZombieKitten said:

Say wha?.....

Some fuckin' guys don't know what they have.... Is there anything sexier than watching a woman masturbate? I think not.....

As for the getting head thing....my wife never liked doing it....so she doesn't do it...EVER... what in the hell is wrong with me?

pardonme4livin said:

You Seriously want to know what's wrong with you?
But in all honesty there is nothing wrong with you, but not all women like to do that.

FunkMistress said:

I hear that a lot too, the old wait and see thing. Well, I do know several long term happy couples but they are usually too busy having sexy time, building, connecting and growing in their relationship so you do not hear from the happy ones very often.
I have been in relationships that have been long term(well 10 yrs) and have failed. I know that it is hard work and takes TWO ppl working at it. It is hard work but so very worth it.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
Ok..dammit, that bloody positive husband of mine is rubbing off on me...

OHHHH and I like it.

Ladies, I have a question.

Do any of the ladies on the org actually enjoy giving head, or do they just do it to please their man? Do you actually get sexually aroused when you are performing the act?

I usually don't participate in this level of, um, sharing on the Org, but I have to represent for the sex-positive chicks.

Yes, yes, and YES! The idea that it's some kind of chore or something you just do to please the other person is totally foreign to me. It drives me fuckin crazy.

FunkMistress said:

Agree

Okay so when my wife and I were dating she gave head all the time, even volunteered much of the time,,it was great. After we married, I had to ask and she would do it, but not with the same enthusiasm. After our first child, head came to a screeching halt...and now after 7 years of marriage, head is all but a thing of the past. Why do women change like this? I know Im not the only one who has experienced this change.

She used to suck your cock as a way to get you to like her. Now that she's snagged you she no longer has to do things she never really liked to do in the first place....like head.

I feel for you man. That's a nasty thing to do to a person, pretend to be into something they are not into.

But from what I hear from guy friends, women do it all the time. I'm sure...no I know you're not alone in this.

have you just asked her why she stopped?

eVeRsOlEsA said:

Yeah, well, they need to suck it up and take one for the team... literally!

Ladies, I have a question.

Do any of the ladies on the org actually enjoy giving head, or do they just do it to please their man? Do you actually get sexually aroused when you are performing the act?

Ladies, I have a question.

Do any of the ladies on the org actually enjoy giving head, or do they just do it to please their man? Do you actually get sexually aroused when you are performing the act?

FunkMistress said:

Agree

jaimestarr79 said:

I love it and I do get aroused when I am performing the act.