Why do gay people say "This is my domestic partner" or this is "my Male/ Female companion" or " this is my Life Partner" It all sounds ridiculous!

I'm all for gay marriage! Everyone should be aloud to be happy. I think everyone deserves rights, especially with claiming your partner on your health insurance, etc, etc.

Why can't a gay man just say "This is my Man"! or "This my Husband"?

Why let society define your relationships? This was the topic at work today.

Depends on the surrounding but we say "man" "woman" "husband" "wife" If we don't it's because stupid asses are trippin

Just out of curiousity, why do you think this is a rhetorical question? You want answers, don't you?

Husband and wife have specific meanings, so some people don't like to use those terms if they don't actually have the right to marry. Some of the terms people use might be to serve a dual purpose: To let you know the person speaking is gay (I have to out myself a lot, so I find ways to work it into conversation as casually as I can) and to let you know the level of their relationship, if applicable.

Efan said:

well yeah, if you're not serious you probably are not going to call someone your husband. If they are serious enough to be called a "domestic partner", I personally wouldn't stop there whether I had the legal right or not.

Well here in Berkeley it's not just gay people. My girlfriend & I are often referred to as "partners."

I think it all depends on what level of intimacy I share with a person.

I have said, "this is my husband" before. We were together for 8 years.

I've been tempted to say "this is just my fuck buddy." I've never had the opportunity.....'cause they come and go.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yeah, I apply different terms at different stages. I'll tell my friends about "a guy I'm seeing" or "my boyfriend" or whatever. I've never had anybody who would really qualify to be a husband, so that's never come up.

But straights have the same labeling problem. I know people who have been together for ages, have no interest in getting married, and are well into adulthood--so "boyfriend" and "girfriend" are inadequate for them but there's not much else that's succinct.

Efan said:

how about oldman and oldlady?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I am my girl's "balls & chain"

i dunno. "husband" is a term i'm reserving for when it is legal for me to say it and mean it.

"boyfriend" sounds kind of juvenille, even though it's usually an easy default to use.

"lover"? forget that. next thing you know we'll be growing our hair long and wearing lacefront puffy white pirate shirts and spandex pants.

"domestic partner" sounds a little sterile to me, but "partner" sounds just fine. it tells the story, and it doesn't sound too teenybopper or too pretentious.

people should define their relationships however they want, though. if someone wants to introduce me to their funktified jawa poodle of love, so be it.

I literally just heard David Sedaris talking about this on CBC radio.

He dislikes his boyfriend being called anything but his 'boyfriend'.

Anxiety said:

OK, I HATE the term Lover

I think you should use whatever you want. I use "partner" to refer my husband to others. I use Husband when refering to him personally.

NDRU said:

I love the term Ball and Chain!

superspaceboy said:

I would prefer to be his husband and he be my husband.
The problem with the word husband is that everyone attached wife to it.
I'd wanna slap somebody who would say something like, "If your both husbands, who's the wife?"
We're gay, there isn't one.
Even if my legs are in the air, I am not someone's girlfriend or wife and don't want to be seen as such.

SUPRMAN said:

tell them to quit imposing their simple binary reality on you.

U know something funny, I have noticed that these days EVERYONE is using "life partner" or just "partner" whether they are gay or straight and I have to say it annoys the heck outta me
Just say what they are to u for Pete's Sake!!! Even if u have been with someone for say 8-10 years and never married, there is such a thing as de facto so by all means...gay or straight just say it...."this is my husband/wife/boyfriend"
I hate having a conversation with someone when they say "my partner"....It makes me feel stupid if I dont say the same thing instead of "husband". I feel as if Im being politicaly incorrect
Just say it Dammit!!!!

is it okay if I call my girlfriend Al?

chillichocaholic said:

EXACTLY !

+ you don't know whether they're gay or straight. For all I know I'm chasing a girl (that has a 'partner', obviously ) and my investment turns out to be completely lost.

if i were dating some of you all, i'd say "this is my mental patient".

because we aren't allowed to marry in most places so husband isn't true.

i'm a big fan of "significant other" too, at least when talking about spouses in the generic sense. oh, and i like "spouse".

my mom calls her lesbain cousin's partner her "friend" it drives me up the wall.

ehuffnsd said:

my mom would use that word for men i was dating and it took me forever to realize that she knew i was dating them but that was just her comfortable little term for them. it made me a little crazy too, but in the relative spectrum of mom-inspired craziness, i let her have that one.

ehuffnsd said:

Actually here when u have been with someone for a long time and not married u can call them husband or wife because u have been living together for so long its considered "common law" , so if u break up u still get "half their shit"

Anxiety said:

Don't go telling everyone my husband pet name for me

chillichocaholic said:

CA isn't common law. but we can get married now. i just have to find me a man

Anxiety said:

check the 25sec vs 25min thread for my biggest mom pet peev.

ehuffnsd said:

U will find one

chillichocaholic said:

one day