Hi guys, I need some wedding present etiquette please! I am invited to a co-workers daughters wedding. I am invited to the wedding, bridal shower and the bachlorette party! She is registered at William Sonoma's, and I bought her a lovely kitchen item she wanted in the 100.00 price range. Now, since I am going to the bridal shower and bachelorette party...am I expected to give a fancy dancy present to these occasions also? If so, any suggestions? I know that for the bachlorette party, it is traditional to give her a lingerie type gift. But what for the Bridal Shower? I am a mess. Usually when I go to all three parties, it is one of my relatives wedding. This is a co-workers daughter. Any help would be appreciated.

$100 for a wedding gift? For a co-worker's daughter? Yikes. I've never spent that much on a wedding present for family.

Yes, you have to give a gift at every event you attend (which is why it helps to spread it around a little - rather than spending it all on the wedding gift).

The bridal shower should have a theme of some sort. That ought to help.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

If you get invited to multiple wedding events you should only give a gift for one shower and one wedding gift. You don't have to bring a gift to a bachelorette party.
And I wouldn't go over $50 for a gift for an acquaintance though.

Genesia said:

She bride chose only fancy things from William Sonoma

SCNDLS said:

I already spent 100.00 bucks on a juicer contraption, she chose really expensive gifts. I need to find a gift for the shower that looks good but is not so pricey! I really do not bring a gift to the bachelorette party?

This whole business is fucking ridiculous.

A wedding is supposed to be a merging of two people who love each other, and the guests are their witnesses there to bless the union and share their happiness. A gift at the wedding, of money or household items, is supposed to help the new couple start their life together as adults.

This shit has gotten WAY out of control. Bridal shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, wedding...and a gift for each?!? Expecting family, friends and even mere acquaintances to go broke just because you're getting married is some selfish, disgusting shit.

And the registries are often filled not with necessities but indulgences. I have no problem giving gifts to a couple, but these days weddings seem to be nothing but bloated, endless displays of excess and greed. It nauseates me.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

That's despicable.

FunkMistress said:

I have worked closely with her mother for 10 years, so buying a cheap gift would have felt rude. I recieved the wedding invitation months ago, (the wedding is in August) I never expected to also be invited to the other 2 parties.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I don't mean what you purchased for her, I mean the fact that she only registered for very expensive gifts.

I wouldn't bring a gift to the bachelorette party. Buy a round of drinks instead.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

That's when you get a gift certificate for $50 and let her buy her own damn present.

FunkMistress said:

There ya go!

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I know it's too late now, but I usually give cash. I know some people think it's tacky but I'm Panamanian and it's actually preferable to receive cash. Kinda like in the Godfather when Connie got married and she had that silk sack full of envelopes. That's how we do. As for the shower, I'd give her a gift card to Williams Sonoma and keep it moving. When couples do their registry they are supposed to select items at various price points to ensure guests have a good selection. This sounds like a gift grab to me.

FunkMistress said:

Thank you

SCNDLS said:

Yeah, my family is Catholic and our tradition is cash too. Either a bag like Connie Corleone's or a box wrapped like a present with a slot in the top to stick your envelopes in.

Genesia said:

Note to self for next time.....

Mach said:

co- Just PLEASE keep Supa outta here.

SCNDLS said:

I thought of him as I was typing my response. He'll probably be mad a bitch stole his thunder.

SCNDLS said:

I love reading Supa's views on things

I may not agree 100% with everything he says but the boy is DEAD on sometimes

SCNDLS said:

My niece will be getting married at the end of August, and I am giving her cash!

FunkMistress said:

Agreed. Agreed. Agreed!!!



My sister is getting married in about a month and thank God she used her head when she registered for gifts. They only picked things that they needed and everything on the registry was reasonably priced. And they registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond since everyone and their dog gets those 20% off coupons all the time.



But I spent a good chunk of change on gifts 'cause I got excited when I was out shopping
[Edited 7/8/08 12:51pm]

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I ALWAYS give cash or gift cards for every gift UNLESS I know someone wants or needs something specific. I HATE shopping in stores, it saves me a lot of headaches during the holidays, I don't have to worry about shipping or gift wrapping, AND it keeps me on budget. Cash and gift cards rule!

Mach said:

And baby boy is ALWAYS entertaining with his dramatic sef.

JessieJ said:

I can't wait till you share your sister's wedding pic's with us!

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Oh lawd, you know I'm gonna make a thread.


We had the bridal shower this past weekend. I was running all over the place to get everything ready and I was soooo stressed. It ended up being really fun. It was great to have all of the family together. My sister was so happy. I nearly cried looking at her. She's all grown up

JessieJ said:

How special!! Your sister is lucky to have you.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

She and her fiance must have said thank you to me like 50 times. They're the cutest


I have photos from the shower if you wanna see: http://www.facebook.com/a...=533890546
Yes, there were a lot of men there. I didn't invite them. They invited themselves I ended up just letting all the men, women, and children come over for it. It was fun.

JessieJ said:

I just saw the pics, looks like a great time! I can't wait for my nieces one (Ana) my co-workers daughter...not so much.

FunkMistress said:

Right on. I rarely watch Sex and the City, but I have seen that episode where Carrie's Manolos mysteriously disappear from a baby shower and it brings up the whole ridiculousness of engagement, bridal, baby showers, etc. I think you should get a "shower" when you move out on your own the first time. I have never been married so there is a ton of stuff I could seriously use but have never been able to buy for myself. (And I'm not talking extravagent stuff, I mean basic stuff like new dishes, flatware, appliances, linens.)


I usually go with a gift card to a specific store where they are registered. I was so annoyed with my sister-in-law when she married my brother. They were opening gifts and people gave them all sorts of beautiful cut crystal (not Waterford or anything), serving dishes, platters, useful things and it was clear she was disappointed and wanted money. I thought it was so tacky and shortsighted of her to not realize that now that she was married she may want to have guests over for dinner and serve the food on nice dishes. (She's an idiot, but I digress...)

Genesia said:

co-sign

thanks everyone, I appreciate all your input!