Current mood: annoyed

Okay, if one more person looks at me crazy when I say I'm single, I'm going to scream...
Recently, I've been running into folks to whom I haven't spoken in ages due to my crazy school/work load. This includes a fellow who expressed interest. Now, I don't really have time for dating now, but figured it'd be cool to talk every so often. HOWEVER, when our 'romantic history' came up & the conversation came to me, he seemed a tad judgmental about the fact that:

No, I have never been engaged;
No, I have never been married; and
NO, I do not have any kids!

With random people in general, I get this 'what's wrong with you?' reaction when this comes up. My issue? People intrusively embark on this multiple question harange, which gets extremely limited response from me, and their stricken reaction bewilders me.

I never give explanations because - quite frankly - it's none of your business 'why'; It's also none of mine, which is why I don't ask people those questions. Our life stories are too divergent & complex to sum up with our marital or parental status. N'est pas?

Second, WHY do people approach being a happily unattached woman after a certain age like she's somehow deficient, defective, or in some sort of 'sad' state? It's frustrating, especially since MEN can choose up to their 40s & 50s to remain in the bliss of bachelorhood, be career-oriented, then focus on family if they so desire. And no one blinks twice. Why the double standard?

How can one compliment my academic accomplishments one second, then pass judgment on my personal status the next - & what is there to judge? The fact that I, unlike some, don't have a failed or unhappy marriage under my belt? Why is that 'bad' again?

I've had some fabulous relationships w/ wonderful people that simply didn't go there - thankfully! And, in truth, I could've married years ago - it would've been loveless & emotionally unfulfilling, but I wouldn't have a material care in the world. Working three jobs as a grad student, as I do now, wouldn't have factored into my life equation. What a miserable, socially-acceptable life I could've had...

For some people, life is defined by marriage & kids. Understandable, but there's also a balance - true satisfaction in life is derived from myriad sources, unique to each person. Certainly, those are things that I want in my future, but I'm pursuing a career that I want & enjoying life as it is.

When I go back home and run into folks - women, mostly - do you know what their 1st inquiry is, 9 times out of 10, immediately following the obligatory "Hey, how are you?"? Wait for it - it's:

"How many kids you got now? What do you mean 'none'? Girl, what are you waiting for? You don't have much longer - oh - you don't want kids, huh? Yeah, you've always been all about your career and stuff."

Ugh. Seriously?

So, I just want to say this: Women today have this awesome new social invention called "choice". We choose to marry - at young, old, or in-between ages - and be stay-at-home moms. Or, to pursue degrees & careers while being wives and mothers. Or, to live the fabulous bachelorette life until whenever. We can be single mothers by choice or by unexpected blessing. And so on. Men have always had these choices, and it's a new day and age for us womenfolk.

In short, I'm perfectly happy going home to my own uninterrupted space; I am fulfilled by the wonderful people in my close-knit circle, & I revel in my independence and accomplishments. When so desired or when time allows, I enjoy sampling the ample dating pool at my behest. None of these things make me the unlovable, frigid, infertile, socially-inept dinosaur that some folks imply by their silent befudled expressions and subsequently intrusive 'why come?' inquiries. So, anyone who thinks otherwise, talk about something else.

And...scene.