New topic
Printable| Author | Message |
Friends hate it when their friends are happy? Life has been grand lately. I mean, my career is going well, my family is happy, and my love life is strange as it ever was but fulfilling. Basically, this last few months has found me a happy man with a positive outlook.
However, I’ve noticed that some of my closest friends are becoming quite distant with me. I’m not being invited to have drinks with the guys, my best friends respond to my positivity with short bursts of thinly veiled hostile jokes, and I just found out I wasn’t invited to an after work social with some close friends of mine. The beauty of all this is that I haven’t been bragging or throwing my gleefulness around to anybody. Rather, I’m simply not miserable and cynical anymore; and, this seems to be utterly intolerable to those around me who I thought should be happy for me. Do you ever get that feeling that when you are coasting on high or relatively content, that your friends seem to have a hard time being happy for you? It’s like they prefer you to be in a position where they can pity you. Strange. 
[Edited 7/7/08 12:00pm] [Edited 7/7/08 12:01pm] Love | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
Well your friends should be happy for you , but on the flip side if you are annoying with your happiness then I can understand their resentment | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Not necessarily so. People change into to totally different people when they are involved with someone, whether they are aware of it or not.
And if you look at it from a different perspective, if they are not happy for you, maybe they are not really your friends? And lastly, if it bothers you, talk to them. The answers you get might suprise you. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| Ex-Moderator |
 we hate it when our friends become successful
I don't think it's so much they prefer you to be miserable as they're probably jealous in some way, even if they don't even recognize it. Seeing your success reminds them of where they're failing. Doesn't make it any better, but it happens. |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sometimes people cant stand stand to see u happy or hate it when ur at a point in ur life that they wish they were.
As long as ur not getting cocky or rubbing things in their face. But all u gotta do is keep on being happy. Dont let their little comments and negativity bring u down. They dont invite u out for drinks, fuck 'em. Go get a nice bottle of Jack Daniels and drink it with ur lover. And when ur drunk, go piss on ur so called friends doorsteps. If they were ur friends, they'd be happy for u. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Stymie said: Not necessarily so. People change into to totally different people when they are involved with someone, whether they are aware of it or not.
And if you look at it from a different perspective, if they are not happy for you, maybe they are not really your friends? And lastly, if it bothers you, talk to them. The answers you get might suprise you. And if you look at it from a different perspective, if they are not happy for you, maybe they are not really your friends? . I thought about this, but they really are my friends. They're just revealing certain insecurities about themselves I think. It's not that they wish the worst for me--it's just they can't bring themselves to be happy without a tinge of jealousy. I think it's a natural response most of the time unfortunately. And lastly, if it bothers you, talk to them. The answers you get might suprise you. I did this with one of them. She said that it wasn't that she was unhappy for me, but that I appear to be "rubbing my glee in her face"  . Mind you, the only thing that's changed is that I will say encouraging things rather than allowing the conversation to spiral into bitching and complaining (which I admit, I do very well and in an entertaining manner sometimes). But honestly, I know my faults well, and one of them is not boasting (this sentense seems like a paradox in and of itself doesn't it? )[Edited 7/7/08 12:07pm] Love | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sometimes misery loves company....it's unfortunate,
but it happens....generally (I think) it's because those friends are very unhappy themselves. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
If your mutual miserableness is what brought you together in the first place - and what your friendship has been based on (at least in part), it stands to reason that they would feel threatened by your change in outlook.
As they say, misery loves company. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieMpls said: we hate it when our friends become successful
I don't think it's so much they prefer you to be miserable as they're probably jealous in some way, even if they don't even recognize it. Seeing your success reminds them of where they're failing. Doesn't make it any better, but it happens. I was thinking of that Morrissey song as I typed that.
I guess our own experiences colors they way we look at things. Where my friends may think they're failing, I see that they're just experiencing large steppings stones on the way to success. However, if you asked me last year, I'd say they were failing based on my own mindset. For the record, I get jealous of my friends too--I just hide it well .Love | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Perhaps you don't deserve friends and your friends reactions to your annoying happiness is God’s way of letting you know?
Hope that helps. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LazarusHeart said: Stymie said: Not necessarily so. People change into to totally different people when they are involved with someone, whether they are aware of it or not.
And if you look at it from a different perspective, if they are not happy for you, maybe they are not really your friends? And lastly, if it bothers you, talk to them. The answers you get might suprise you. And if you look at it from a different perspective, if they are not happy for you, maybe they are not really your friends? . I thought about this, but they really are my friends. They're just revealing certain insecurities about themselves I think. It's not that they wish the worst for me--it's just they can't bring themselves to be happy without a tinge of jealousy. I think it's a natural response most of the time unfortunately. And lastly, if it bothers you, talk to them. The answers you get might suprise you. I did this with one of them. She said that it wasn't that she was unhappy for me, but that I appear to be "rubbing my glee in her face" . Mind you, the only thing that's changed is that I will say encouraging things rather than allowing the conversation to spiral into bitching and complaining (which I admit, I do very well and in an entertaining manner sometimes). But honestly, I know my faults well, and one of them is not boasting (this sentense seems like a paradox in and of itself doesn't it? )
[Edited 7/7/08 12:07pm] You going from cynic to positive, if your friends are cynics would probably piss them off. It's not rational but
Your friends have issues that they need to deal with. Just be cognizant of that. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
DanceWme said: Sometimes people cant stand stand to see u happy or hate it when ur at a point in ur life that they wish they were.
As long as ur not getting cocky or rubbing things in their face. But all u gotta do is keep on being happy. Dont let their little comments and negativity bring u down. They dont invite u out for drinks, fuck 'em. Go get a nice bottle of Jack Daniels and drink it with ur lover. And when ur drunk, go piss on ur so called friends doorsteps. If they were ur friends, they'd be happy for u. That's easy for you to say though. You're fine as hell. Your friends will pretend to be happy for you just to get in your pants. [Edited 7/7/08 12:17pm] Love | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| Ex-Moderator |
Stymie said: You going from cynic to positive, if your friends are cynics would probably piss them off. It's not rational but
Very true. If you're used to commiserating with someone and suddenly their entire demeanor changes it can take some getting used to. |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
People are strange tho sometimes , my best gal pal got all funny with me cause she didnt like my BF and we never speak anymore , we used to be inseparable ... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LazarusHeart said: DanceWme said: Sometimes people cant stand stand to see u happy or hate it when ur at a point in ur life that they wish they were.
As long as ur not getting cocky or rubbing things in their face. But all u gotta do is keep on being happy. Dont let their little comments and negativity bring u down. They dont invite u out for drinks, fuck 'em. Go get a nice bottle of Jack Daniels and drink it with ur lover. And when ur drunk, go piss on ur so called friends doorsteps. If they were ur friends, they'd be happy for u. That's easy for you to say though. You're fine as hell. Your friends will pretend to be happy for you just to get in your pants. [Edited 7/7/08 12:17pm]  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
DanceWme said: Sometimes people cant stand stand to see u happy or hate it when ur at a point in ur life that they wish they were.
You are so fucking hilarious. As long as ur not getting cocky or rubbing things in their face. But all u gotta do is keep on being happy. Dont let their little comments and negativity bring u down. They dont invite u out for drinks, fuck 'em. Go get a nice bottle of Jack Daniels and drink it with ur lover. And when ur drunk, go piss on ur so called friends doorsteps. If they were ur friends, they'd be happy for u.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LazarusHeart said: DanceWme said: Sometimes people cant stand stand to see u happy or hate it when ur at a point in ur life that they wish they were.
As long as ur not getting cocky or rubbing things in their face. But all u gotta do is keep on being happy. Dont let their little comments and negativity bring u down. They dont invite u out for drinks, fuck 'em. Go get a nice bottle of Jack Daniels and drink it with ur lover. And when ur drunk, go piss on ur so called friends doorsteps. If they were ur friends, they'd be happy for u. That's easy for you to say though. You're fine as hell. Your friends will pretend to be happy for you just to get in your pants. [Edited 7/7/08 12:17pm] idiot
 | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Are you sure you haven't changed? Sometimes you can't tell when in a relationship. I have a friend who constantly blows me off for her guy and never ever initiates hanging out...I'd be lucky if I got a phone call these days. I'm happy she's in love and things are going well, but when they don't I'll be sure to get that phone call. Question is...will I answer it? I don't even think she knows she's doing it.
If that's not the case then they are just jealous. Some people can't deal with other people being happy because they are too miserable themselves. Maybe evaluate the situation a little more before you jump to conclusions about it?? I dunno. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
It is possible to be happy for a friend and also have envy at the same time 
Good friends will be happy for/with you and also be able to express envy respectfully and in healthy ways. True happiness doesn't brag or boast - it just shines so if ego is trippin on your end you should check that as well  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Imago said: Perhaps you don't deserve friends and your friends reactions to your annoying happiness is God’s way of letting you know?
Hope that helps. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Mach said: It is possible to be happy for a friend and also have envy at the same time
Good friends will be happy for/with you and also be able to express envy respectfully and in healthy ways. True happiness doesn't brag or boast - it just shines so if ego is trippin on your end you should check that as well 
I love you woman.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Stymie said:
I love you woman. I Love you too  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LazarusHeart said: Life has been grand lately. I mean, my career is going well, my family is happy, and my love life is strange as it ever was but fulfilling. Basically, this last few months has found me a happy man with a positive outlook.
However, I’ve noticed that some of my closest friends are becoming quite distant with me. I’m not being invited to have drinks with the guys, my best friends respond to my positivity with short bursts of thinly veiled hostile jokes, and I just found out I wasn’t invited to an after work social with some close friends of mine. The beauty of all this is that I haven’t been bragging or throwing my gleefulness around to anybody. Rather, I’m simply not miserable and cynical anymore; and, this seems to be utterly intolerable to those around me who I thought should be happy for me. Do you ever get that feeling that when you are coasting on high or relatively content, that your friends seem to have a hard time being happy for you? It’s like they prefer you to be in a position where they can pity you. Strange.
[Edited 7/7/08 12:00pm] [Edited 7/7/08 12:01pm] EXAMPLE: Not everyone is like this:, but I have heard a few stories friends want you to be single when they are single. Friends want you to go to bar, drink and hang out when you want to hang out. Some all the time. They dont want you home with your girl/man, or doing homework , or working. Sometimes friends can be cruel and selfish. Its all in the company you keep. But as soon as the find someone or get tired of you....THATS IT, THEY CUT YOU OFF!!! Say it's just a dream...
U open up ur eyes and come 2 realize u simply imagined this So u lean over and give her a kiss Here on earth, here on earth, with u it's not so bad Here on earth, here on earth eye don't feel so sad Stay right here | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| Moderator |
People suck. That's my general rule on just about everything. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sweeny79 said: People suck. That's my general rule on just about everything.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sweeny79 said: People suck. That's my general rule on just about everything.
Yes, yes I do  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sweeny79 said: People suck. That's my general rule on just about everything.
agree agree agree Say it's just a dream...
U open up ur eyes and come 2 realize u simply imagined this So u lean over and give her a kiss Here on earth, here on earth, with u it's not so bad Here on earth, here on earth eye don't feel so sad Stay right here | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ahhhhh fuck em! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Muse2NOPharaoh said: Ahhhhh fuck em!
I like that!! Say it's just a dream...
U open up ur eyes and come 2 realize u simply imagined this So u lean over and give her a kiss Here on earth, here on earth, with u it's not so bad Here on earth, here on earth eye don't feel so sad Stay right here | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Muse2NOPharaoh said: Ahhhhh fuck em!
OMG. I was thinking the same thing!!!!! MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |