i'm moving back with my sister this month, a move that will financially free up about $2,000 in "free money" ( i make $20,000 more than she does). as a single man, how do women feel about adults living with family? it's not like i have to sneak anybody in the house ( i wouldn't do anything there anyway, out of respect to my Mom's memory), but would going to a nice hotel (Hilton, Radisson etc) seem cheap to a female? should i be looking for ladies with their own place orsimilar arrangement as mine?

help a brotha out

If you just want to fuck, I don't think any woman is going to complain about you taking her to a hotel.

If it's someone you like and may want to pursue a relationship with, she'll get to know you as a person and if she likes you, she likes you for you, not whether you own a house. If it ends up being long term, she'll need to decide whether the (temporary?) inconvenience of you not having your own place is worth it.

Your explanation for your living situation seems pretty reasonable. It's not like you're crashing on your sister's couch because of your crippling heroin addiction.

my neighbour only just moved out when he got married. He was 36. Now has a baby and after all these years living with mum, he saved up enough to buy a house for him and his wife, who obviously never minded dating him while he lived at home.

FunkMistress said:

the move is to help her out moreso than me...i've been on my own since i was 17, so i know how to ride the highs and lows of living on your own. but my babysister has always lived at home with my Mom, and the price of everything has doubled in the last year or so. i figure a nice lady would appreciate a guy who would sacrifice his 3 level apartment to go live in the basement of the family house (although it will be a fully decked out spot with a home theater)

FunkMistress said:

Agreed. It would depend on why they were living with their family. Yours seems a good enough reason, it shouldn't matter.

I think very soon, a lot of other single people, both male and female, will all b giving up a little bit of their independance and moving back with family, due 2 the high cost of living, the rising gas prices, high food prices, etc.!!

Theres nothing wrong with single people living with family members!! Just think, it was like that years ago anyway!!! As much as there is nothing wrong with independance, I think 2 a certain extent we have all taken this a bit too far and become TOO independance minded!!! Maybe thats one of the reasons why theres so many divorces now, cos really cos of our total independance, we really havent learned how 2 live with other people and cant stand it when others come in and encroach on our independance on a permanent basis!!!

Dont feel bad Fury!!!!

Desire2006 said:

Interesting. There could be some truth in that.

Desire2006 said:

I guess it depends on the individual. My mom made me move out by the time I was 18. There was also a no coming back home rule and she meant it even when I was getting divorced.
It taught me to be independent and fend for myself.
I have never had a problem living with another person though. Living with my mom and living with a friend or spouse is totally different in my book.

I do not look down on others that do that to help out family or to save money.

Some times you gotta do what you gotta do.
[Edited 7/8/08 6:47am]

It would depend on the circumstances. I am 40 and I live at home with my Grandmother becasue I am her caregiver and my parents are dead. She would go hungry and with out things becasue her social sercurity check can not cover everything and she is legally blind as well.

I always grew up in a 3 generation household or taking in cousins, neices, nephews whatever so it dont bother me at all. With the high cost of things more folks are going to start "doubling up" to afford even the bare basiscs.

Your reason is very valid Fury and I commend you for that!!!

Depends on the circumstances and how long he planned on staying there. If there were no plans on getting out then I think it would be an issue with me. To each their own

Is her mom a good cook?


I need to know the details.

Depends on the circumstances & the length of time they plan on being there. If it's for a real purpose (to help family, to save up) then it's fine as long as it's temporary. BUT if it's just a lazy mf that's gonna live off his family "just because" & he has the resources to live on his own, I'd have a serious problem w/ that. Hell, I know someone like that

FunkMistress said:

If you move back home for good reasons ie, taking care of a sick family member or you lost u home/job, then im sure someone will understand for a short time frame.

If you want to have a relationship with someone, living at home is not going to help. Most people want relationships with another who shows responsibility and can take care of themselves.

If you just want to fuck, then where you live really doesnt matter, you will probably end up at the mo-mo anyway.

Don't worry Fury.

I'm 77 years old and still living with my 99 year old mom.

And. . . . . . very sexually active.

Well most men who find out I work and live with my Grandmother think I am a ATM and I dont pay bills and have "extra money"which is FAR FROM THE TRUTH!!! I pay bills at home before I do anything and I have great credit, the men on the other hand are looking for somebody to "help them out or take care of them" The answer is NO!!!

I will NEVER put anybody before my Grandmother and the men I have men unfortuately have not had THEIR shyt together!! I have never just wanted to "fuck" and if you can't offer me anything then peace out!! I can and do bring something to the table!!!

it shouldn't matter if the person is attracted to you for you. seeing how a guy treats their mother or sister is often a good indication of how they would be as a partner.

i am close to my siblings & i value their friendship as well as everything else.

Fury said:

It all depends on why, to be responsible or because of cultural reasons, then no problem. Because of laziness and/or being a habitual dreamer, needing somebody else to foot the bills, then no I'll pass.

morningsong said:

AMEN!!!

I like you!!

Hey, don't sequester 90% of the Asian male population

Date? Sure.

Have a long term, committed relationship? Probably not.